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DRAMATIC. VAUDEVILLE. CIRCUS. Copyrighted, 1903, by tie Prank Qa«n Publishing Company (Limited). Founded by FRANK QUEEN, 1853. 2STEW YORK, NOVEMBER 31, 1903. VOLUME U-No. 39. Price 10 Cents. i*li55 CIippcr'5 IwMes, Personalities aid Gnats, COKCXBXtXQ ST1GE FOLK and Sometimes OTHERS BY JOSEPHINE OHO. Stetson stories. He had been a member of that clever manager's company ainging Gil- bert and Sullivan's comic opens In thla city In 1880. The company was leaving one Sunday morning for the Boston engagement, when two of the members harried np to Stetson and asked permission to remain In New York until the next morning, promising to follow the company on the earliest train. a small town In Canada where the town ball was used either as an opera boose, theatre or skating rink, according to tbe demand of the occasion. The owner of thla Important building was s personage In heavy blgb-topped boots. Into which the legs of his trousers were tacked. Ills "opery ball" was primitively lighted by kerosene lamps, which also served Indifferent' ly well as footlights. On this occasion one don't mind me, I'll net the lamp all fixed In Jest about .1 second." Slater did mlad him, however, and gave a quick sign for the curtain, which came down almost upon tbe lead of Its owner. Some years ago Slater toured the West with a repertory company. "Under tbe Gas- light" was tbe title of one of tbe plays on tbe list. After tbe town bad been billed In one of Jack Webster's little nephews Christian Science would bare another fol- lower If bis advice to his mother bad been acted upon. The mother Is a firm believer In this form of religion, which Is dally adding to Its con- verts from the rank and tile of tbe theatrical profession. When either of tbe youngsters has a pain or an ache, from a tumble or any other cause, their mother explains to them, according to her belief, that their troubles are Imaginary — that they only think they are suffering. Not long ago the elder of the two, In a spirit of mischief, did something for which his fond parent de- cided to punlab him. Tou've been very naughty and mamma will have to spank yon," said she, pre- paring to carry out her Intention. The bright little mind Immediately sug- gested a means of es- cape from the merited punishment, snd it was through the Christian Science teaching of bis mother. "Oh, mamma," quickly spoke np the little man, "I tell you what—I'll cry awfully bard and loud, and you can think you're spanking me." A little atory Is cir- culating concerning that brilliant writer of the play in which Robert Edeson made a success for himself and the author. Among the many mu- sical settings of Bud- yard Kipling's poems was one composed by Richard Harding Da- vis, accompanying the words of "Danny Den- ver." Though this clever writer possesses fine vocal abilities, and can play well on one or more stringed Instruments, he Is neither a master at the piano nor a com- poser, according to the method of profes- sional composers, who class small writers as "fishermen"—those who by esr flsh out their chords on the piano until they strike the one pleasing their fancy. Mr. Davis had in this way fished out for "Danny Deever" a set of pleasing chords to accompany a melody which he carried with his voice, which be afterwards memor- ised One evening Mr. Davis attended a social muslcale where several composers, who were among the guests, had entertained the others with examples of their musical genius. One of them jokingly suggested that he be Invited to sing and play one of bis com- positions, though with no idea that tbe au- thor had really composed anything. "The others have all 'obliged,'" said be. "Davis, suppose you play and sing something original for us." Accordingly, to the astonishment of those present, Mr. Davis seated himself at the piano with an appearance of ease. He was about to place his hands upon the keyboard, over which be suddenly held tbem In an oncer- tain manner, finally dropping tbem to bis knees. His next words betrayed his lack of technical musical knowledge, at tbe same time Inciting a good natured laugh nt his expense. Turning to a composer who stood near, he said: "I can't find my first note on this piano. Mine is a Stelnway—I see this Is a Knsbe— do you know what key on this piano would correspond to the on* opposite tha 10 In a Stelnway r* 9 An old timer In the theatrical business the otber day related one of those perennial ball, "now, how In hexx be you a-going to perform 'Under tha Gaslight,' when every- body In thla here town knows that we atnt got aotbln' but oil lamps." 9 During an engagement of the William Owen Company at the Opera House, In Lon- don, Ontario, tbe manager of tbe company one evening remarked to the house policeman —who, by the way, waa a Scotchman—that it waa strange that the people did not turn out In greater numbers. The company was a good one, and the plays were standard, con- sisting of "Tbe Lady of Lyons," "Richelieu" and Shakespearean plays. "I wonder wby we're not getting better homes," said tbe manager. "I can tell you," said the policeman. "Tbe people in this city don't like Irish plays." »■» FORTUNE) HADE) IN AN IIOUH. "No," was Stetson's answer, given in de- cided tones. "I've bought communication tickets for the whole crowd and you've all got to go together." 9 Joseph II. Slater, the autbor-actor, tells a few experiences in small towns with certain local owners of places of amusement, who are sometimes termed "Rube" managers by facetious members of traveling companies. Thla "rube" manager affords tbe story teller many an opportunity for the exercise of bis specialty, and all those of tbe profes- sion who have traveled on one night atanda can relate a number of amusing incidents in which this personage Is the subject At one time Slater was playing the lead- ing role In one of hta own successful pieces, "A Soldier's Sweetheart." Tbe tour took lu of tbem, standing uncomfortably near a piece of Inflammable scenery, began to Date and smoke. The lorsl manager was watching tb« per- formance from one of the entrances, during n big scene between Slater, who waa playlut the soldier lover, and tbe leading lady. He end Slater noted the activity of tbe lamp at the same time, but the latter, seeing no Im- mediate danger, and not wishing to spoil bis act, went on with the scene, wblcb waa near Its end Not so tbe local nmnager, who saw visions of his theatre In names. In noisy boots he tramped aerosM the front of tbo stage from one entrance to the otber, and while turning down the wick of tbe offending lamp be sym- pathtsingly addressed tbe parting lovers. "Jest you keep right on parting," be ssld, Slater met the local manager, * ho waa study- ing one of tbe bills with * 1 oubled expres- sion of coi,ntcnat.ce. "Bay, be you tbe manager?' be asked "I'm the person called the stage manager," replied Bitter, who was acting In that ca- pacity. "Well, you Jest tell tbe manager that un- less be changes bis play be wont hev much of a bouse tonight" '•Why'/" ouerled Slater, "this la a great play, and sever falls to make a bit every- where." "It «ont make a bit In this town, strang- er," said the man, shaking his bead ominous- ly. "Indeed!" exclaimed Slater, "and for what reason 7* "Reason I" ejaculated the owner of the Buddenly, with an ejaculation of pleasure and triumph, he dropped bis weapon and began to pick up peb- bles here and there. Curious, dirty looking stones they were, gray- ish white and rusty, but having strange, Eery gleams In their depths. With feverish haste he produced a atout canvas bag, holding perbapa a quart, tied with leathern thongs. Greedily be continued bis quest, picking up atones apparently at bapbaiard, but really with the quick selec- tion of tbe expert Some of them were hardly bigger than a pea, many others were aa large as a marble or a basel nut, a few even larger. Now, It la a blessed peculiarity of precious stones, cut or uncut, rough or polished, set or unset, that a for- tune may be contained In a very small com- pass. And altbougb mere site does not al- ways count In assess- ing the value of a stone, yet those wblcb our prospector had gathered might be ex- pected to be worth snywbere from a hun- dred to a thousand pounds apiece. For In his knocking about the diamond fields he bad become something of a connoisseur, sod In picking over this new field be bad with quick decision selected only the finest speci- mens, albeit only In the rougb. The whole "claim," when properly ex- ploited, would doubtless prove to be very rich, and of tbls claim he was of coarse the owner by rlgbt of discovery, In wblcb the drastic mining laws of tbe colony would Jealousy protect him. An hour sufficed to fill the bag, tbe mouth of wblcb be quickly fastened and flung It on tbs sand. Then, raising bis clenched flats towards the heavens, be cried In a voice hoarse with excitement sod triumph: "At last I At last I" With a grim smile lifting ths corners of bis tawny mustache be gave tbe bag a kick and thus apostrophized Its contents: "There you are, my beauties I Tbls Is my claim, and I'm one of the richest men In South Africa."— Vukdeuic Riddali, (» Lip- pincQtt'* ltagaitne. 4»» A BAD ME.MOIIY. "I'd like a cut) of coffee," said the stranger to tbe man Whose restaurant was run upon the "old home cooking" plan. "The same, sir," aaid tbe otber, who could broil and brow and bake; "You shall have a cup of coffee like your mother used to make." The stranger's eye grew molatened as In memory once more lie tasted of that coffee that be drank In daya of yore, And to tbe restaurant keeper: "Well, If that's tbe case," said be, "And It's sll tbe same to you, I guess I'll have a cup of tea." —Nixox WiTBSMAK, <f» Good Uoumkeeptng.