The New York Clipper (February 1904)

DRAMATIC. VAUDEVILLE. CIRCUS. Copyrighted, 1904, by the Frank Queen Publishing Company f Limited*. Founded by FRANK QUEEN. 1853. NEW YORK, FEBRUAKY 6, 1904. VOLUME U.-No. 50. Prloe 10 Cents. Mi$5 CIipper'5 foals, Personalities ail Counts, CONCIBNINO STAGE FOLK and Sometimes OTHERS BY JOSEPHINE ORO. Edward Barton, of "The Limited Mall" Company, voices In rhyme the plaint of the traveling actor. When the first greetings are over between members of the profession encountering each other "on the road," at railroad stations, In hotels, or on the street, the Inevitable question which Is the "catch line" of Barton's verses is then nsked. The traveling actor, however, Is not alone In the P, P. Craft, manager for Conroy & Mack, In "The Rising Generation," drops Tai Clipper a little line telling how be recently saved ten cents on a deal with a transfer man, white all the time the man thought he was getting the best of the bargain. The company made a one night stand at a small town in West Virginia. They had left most of the baggage in Cumberland, where they had played a Ave nights' engagement. The agent ahead of them had mnde the iisuul baggage contract of twenty cents the round "All terms." right," said Craft, "I accept your Manager Craft copied thn following rule* and regulations posted on the doors of a small hotel In Alton, West Virginia. It will Le noted that the restrictions are prohibitive of ordinary hotel freedom. Perhaps the land- lord la one of the church deacons of the place. "Notice, subject to the Court of Dpilmr County. pany. now en route In the Weat, tells a story of an excessive, though an amuatng. charge made by the landlady of a boarding house where some of the company were stay- ing during a one night stand In tho town. One of the members had a room with a lire, the price being 11.60. Another of the com* pany bad an adjoining room with no heat. Ing resources. As there was a connecting door, the two actors took advantage of this by leaving It open during tbelr 6tay, thus rendering tho tireless room comfortable. After the occupant of the room with the tiro had settled his account with the land- lady the other approached, tendering his settlement for his short tenancy of bis room, which would bave been cheerless but for the courtesy of his neighbor. asking and answering of the oft repeated question, "Where do you go from here?" for the commercial drummer asks and answers It fully as often. Those "on the road" will appreciate the following lines, written In a moment of Inspiration, and sent to Tbb Cmffib for these columns, by.Edward Bar- ton: Where Do Yon Go Fboh Hebe? The oft repeated question . That's asked of you and me, Is heard the wide world over, Wherever we may be. We hear It on oar travels, We hear It far and near, That hard-worked, worn-out chestnut, "Where do you go from here?" We hear It In the morning, Likewise again at night, We hear it served for dinner,— To avoid it, try we might 'Tie asked us on the highway, In weather dark or clear; Will they put some other query Than "Where do you go from here?" Qod help the poor old actor, Our troubles help us bear; Oar paths are rough and stormy Enough to turn our hair. And when our days are ended, And we're stretched out on our bier, Let's hope onr mourners will not ask, "Where to you go from lurtt" trip. When the company alighted from the train, which left only eight trunks on the platform, the transfer man approached Man- ager Craft, and In disappointed tones asked: "And Is that all your baggage T "Tea," was Craft's answer, "we needed only that much for this stand." "But your agent said you had thirty pieces," said the man; "you couldn't eipect a fellow to haul only eight, trunks at twenty cents the round trip." "Well, how much do you want?" ssked the manager, quite willing to pay a reason able advance. "Well," said tbe man, making a hurried mental calculation, "I can't do the Job for a cent leas than a dollar and a half." "Is that your final decision 7" asked Craft, smiling Inwardly. "That Is," was the firm reply. "All persons stsy out of the kitchen. No drinking allowed In tbe house or on tbe premises. No vulgarity. No swearing. No gaycty, romping or rowdy'ng, and no shoot- ing. "All persons thst are drunk or intoxicated will stay out They are not wanted, and we bave no place for such persons. "Visitors will only be admitted to tbe door and there they must mske tbelr business known. "Each boarder will go to tils room, but will not admit any visitors. "Also all rooms up stairs will be locked on Sunday. "If any one thinks they cannot abide by these rules please stay away." 9 Cecil J. Lionel, of Hoyt's Comedy Com- The landlady, after accepting the amount agreed upon, Ihon hold out hor band, and curtly sold: "I'lfty cents extra, please." "I"or what?" naked tbe surprised actor, unaware of having Incurred any additional expense ■Tor beat," was the terse reply. "Ilut thore was no fire In my room," re- monstrated the actor. "But you bad tho door opon Into your friend's room," said tho careful landlady, "and I want fifty centa extra for the 'hot air' that went Into your room from bis." When Lionel settled his lire bill tbe land- lady magnanimously Informed him that she was charging only for tbe coal and wood con- sumed, and that sho never charged anything for the "uae of the stove." There Is a certain playwright In tbe pro- fession who has a far higher estimate of bis own work than bare bla friends. One day at the Lambs' Club not long ago, while exploiting one of his plays that had ones been presented for two consecutive nights, he grandly exclaimed: "At all events, though my play had not a long run, It waa heralded with a big 'flourish of trumpets.'" "They must hove been penny trumpets," was the satirical rejoinder of one of the group, a remark which happily was not loud enough for Uw would-be playwright to hear.