The New York Clipper (February 1905)

II THE NEW YORK CLIPPER. Febkuary 25. CHARLES DICKENS OS ACTORS. TRcprlntcd from Tub New 1'oiik CfcirPBH dated Auy. 12, 180D.J I like to meet actors off the stage— not thnt I am possessed with the fond Idea of the Btagc-Btriick youth, that oil actors nro gods nod all actresses foddosscs of supernatural beauty (which I have ong admitted to be an error), hut because It has been my lot to bo thrown a good deal Into their society, and bccaiiBC, knowing them well and Intimately, 1 have learned to respect them. There are certain nctors and actresses whose hands I am nlwnvs' proud to shake, not bemuse they lire eminent tragedians or comedians, hut because they arc honorable men and women. One of the most simple, unnfTcctod, generous natures I ever met with is enshrined In the breast of n clowu. If any Diogenes should be going about looking for a specimen of n good husband, nud good father, I will give him the address of a pantuloon; only regretting thnt I shall have to request him to ring the top bell. If I cherish a plntonlc affection for any member of the fair sex, It is for an nctress whom everybody loves, because In every relation of life, ns wife, mother, daughter, and friend, Bhc Is us bright an ornament to her sex us she Is to her profession. Believe me, I am not saying these things In n spirit of exaggerated charity toward a class requiring to be apologized for. I am not adopting the nil nf»J bimum maxim, ob If I were speak ng of the dead. These good people arc olive, pursuing nn honorable career, nnd doing good deeds In the Bight of many. , . I little thought In my young days that I should have this opinion of play-actors. In the sphere n very narrow one. In which I Imbibed my early ideas, it was broadly Inculcated that the theatre was a very wicked place, nnd that nctors and nclrcsscs were very wicked people. When I llrst went to the theatre, on the sly, I had some compunction about It ; but not being uble to discern any wickedness In connection with Hie performance of a beautiful play, in which virtue wus rewarded and vice punished, I dismissed the feeling nnd was rather pulncd to think that some particular friends of mine had told me what was not precisely true. It wns not until a much Inter period of my life, thnt I made the acquaintance of actors nnd found how much they, too, were helled. I expected to find them at least very knowing persons; but, nfter spending nu evening with a purty of players, I came to the conclusion thnt I myself, who bad been religiously brought up and warned to avoid plavs and play-actors, wus, hi the ways of the wicked world, the most knowing one In the coin 1 am not going to argue that players are by nature better than other people, hut I think their generally single-minded natures may bo accounted for rationally enough. In the llrst place, the ambition to become nn actor is an Intellectual one, nnd It will be rendlly ndmitted Hint only u trusting and unsophisticated disposition could hope for a lilgh degree of success In the profession. Next comes In the exulting nnd refining Influence of Shakespeare's poetry, which all nctors, whether they be destined to shine ns the kings of tragedy or the valets of fnrce, begin by Btudylng. talk to a low comedian on the subject, nnd ten to one It he will not confess to you that Ills llrst aspirations were in the direction of the tingle. He knew the lofly poetical speech of Ilninlel by heart — never to be forgotten— long before he was driven to lower his attention to the waistcoats of (he llrst (Irave digger. A knowledge of Shakespeare redeems n vnst ninount of Ignorance. An actor s education may he very defective; he limy not be able to spell ; he may betray In his hand writing nnd composition n end want of familiarity with the use of the pen— hut he knows Shakespeare by heart. Ilo has all the philosophy of life at the Is another Inlhieiico for good In the player b profession. It Is n precarious one. Nearly nil nctors begin by meeting dllllciillles nnd knowing poverty. It Is rarely thnt anyone succeeds without a long struggle. A fellow-reeling makes them wondrous kind. There Is searcelv n successful actor living who has not known what it Is to he penniless, hungry, nnd what Is sometimes harder lo bear, to be In debt for sumo miserable trllle among strangers. Thus It Is Hint the most successful among them can always uiiderslnnd and feel for the misfortunes nnd Borrows of their struggling brethren. If 1 hud not found by experience of them Hint players nre In a reninrknblc degree kind hearted, well disposed people, theso consldorntjons alone might have guided me lo the conclusion. That nctors have faults nnd foibles I will not deny. They are men and women, nnd they have the fuiilts Hint nil men and women have lu n greater or less degree, lint this I will confidently assert, Hint actors nre not sinners In n grealer degree than oilier classes of society, while lu tunny nmlnble respects they enn lay claim to a larger number of virtues. One of the reasons why they nre so constantly traduced Is obvious. They live more limn nny other class under Hie public eye ; there Is a strong curiosity about them, and conscuiientlv nnv dubious story iibout their mode of life Mini pre 1 ud Ice nuiy Imngltie, and the breath of scandal whisper. Is rapidly spread abroad and en.go.rlv umplllletl. How many times have I been told that So-nnd-So Is n very immoral person, when (here Is nothing on enrlh of which t nm so well assured as Hint Hint person Is a model of purity ami goodness? If scinidnl lilts upon n truth now nnd then, does It liner hit upon n similar I rath with regard lo other society? Really upon my conscience, I do not know what class Is In a position lo throw stnnra nt the players. OLD IM.AY-ltll.l.S. C"oiit»l/eti from Various Soureea, for Thk New YlltlK Cl.lPI'KU, 11V AruUKTIlM AITI.KJACK, ESQ. I Reprint rd from New Youk Ci.iitkii da fed April 15. isuri.i The printing of play-bills In nlternnle black nnd red lines llrst tame In vogue during the time of I'olley L'luber. When Mrs. fibber was forty-live years of nge, nu addition was made to (he family in the person of Charlotte Clbber, who In consoi|iieiico became u spoiled child. Trusting more to her own Judgment than I he ailvlce of her parents, the married lllclinrd Clarke, "nil eminent violin player of dissolute habits." lu the month of November, 1742, Mrs. Clarke and her daughter performed nt one of Hie places of auuiseiiienl of Hull period. The hill In such n curiosity Hint I cnuiiol refrain from presenting It lo my renders: — "I'ur the Itrneflt of u t'rrnon irlm /mis <i tlinit lo »< 7 Moniji. At Hie New Theatre In James street, near the IliivtnurliCt, on Monday next will Ih; performed a Concert of Vocal and Instrumental Mustek, divided Into Two Purls. Boxes lis.. I'lt 2s.. Hilllery Is. Between the Two Parti: of the Concert will be performed a Trui/rtli) cnll'd The Fainl Curiosity, written by the Into Mr. I.lllo, author of George llnniwell. The part of Mrs. wilmot by Mrs. L'lurke (who originally performed at the lluyiiuirkcl ;) the list of tlw IHII'ti till (i Net of fiii/ili' ii7m> leill /inform in well ti" theii nm, // tint as irrM an then iroii'it, unit the liext run do «« mure. With variety of Enlcrtiilmiiciils. viz. : — Act I. A Preamble on the Kelt In Drums by Mr. Job linker, particularly, liWrv (lioeji. accompanied with French Horns, Act II. A new IViisuut Dance by Mous, Ctieuioiit ami Minium reran, just urrlv'd piping hot from the opera nt l'arls. To which will bo added a lliilliul Opera call'tl The Devil lo Day; the part of Nell bv Miss Clarke, who performed Princess IHIznbelli nt Snulhwiirk. Servants will he allowed to keep places on Hie stage. I'aitlcubir care will he Inlieii to perform Willi the utmost decency, and lo prevent mistakes, the Hills for (ho day will be blue anil black." &e. In this era of (lie diauia. a piny wns often given between the two parts of a concert In order lo escape the heavy Hue which was Imposed upon tlu'iilrlenl cnlertnliiuieuts. In 17,'iS, 1 Hud u itmarkable plny-hlll. which was circulated lliroiigh one of the towns of Sussex; "At the Old Thcntrc, In East Grlnstcad, on Saturday, May, 1708, will be presented (by particular desire, nnd for the benefit of Mrs. I*.) the deep nnd nffecllng tragedy of 'Thcodoslus, or the Force of I.ovc,' with magnificent scenes, dresses, &c. VnrancB, by Mr. I'., who will strive, as far ns possible, to support the character or this fiery Persian Prince, in which ho wns so much admired and applauded at Hustings, Arundel, l'otwortb, Mldworth, Lewes, &c. Theodoslus, by a young gentleman from the University of Oxford, who never appeared on anv stage. Athcnnls, by Mrs. I'. Though her present condlllon will not permit her to wait on gentlemen nnd Indies out of town with tickets, she hopes, ns on former occasions, for their liberality and support. Nothing In Italy can exceed the nltnr. In the first scene of Hie piny. Nevertheless, should nny of the nobility or gentry wish to see It ornamented with flowers, the bearer will bring nwny ns many ns they choose to favor him with. As the coronation of Atliennls, to be Introduced In (lie fifth net, contains a number of personages, more than sulllclcnt to fill the dressing rooms, &c, It Is hoped no gentlemen nnd ladles will be offended at being refused admission behind Hie scenes. N. It. — The great ynrd dog. that made so much noise on Thursday night, during the Inst net of •King Itlcbnrd the Third,' will be sent to a neighbor's, over the way ; nnd on account of the prodigious demand for places, pnrt of the stable will be laid Into the boxes on one side, and the granary be open for the same purpose on Hie oilier. Vivat Rex." I forgot to mention thnt In the month of January. ]"?!), It wns nonniinced Hint a person nt the Theatre Koynl, In the llaymarkct, "would piny on a common walking enne the music of every Instrument then In use; Hint he would, on the stage, get into a tnveru quart bottle, without equivocation, nnd, while (here, sing several songs, nnd suffer nny spectator lo handle the bottle; Hint If nny spectator came masked he would, If requested, declare who Ihey were; that. In a private room, he would produce the representation of any person (lend, with whom (he party requesting it should converse some minutes, ns If alive; that the performnnre would begin at half-past six ; nnd Hint n guard would be placed at the doors (o preserve order." It Is needless lo sny that this announcement drew n great crowd, nnd It Is also needless (o mention thnt the performer failed to appear. In 1825 some curious bills were circulated through one of the sinnll vlllnges In England, of which a copy Is annexed: "For One N'lght Only." MACIiVX AUIIUCKI.i: Was horn In Texas nnd received his education in Itoston and abroad. He studied law, and wns for two years on his father's ranch, lie WAS admitted lo (he bar of Texas, practiced law In (hat State, nud also became Interested In politics, lie ninde his professional debut Dec. 25, 1888, and wns for several seasons connected with small companies. Then he was for three years In Shakespearean repertory, nnd also slock companies. In 1SU8 he was engaged by the Ilroadhurst Bros, and creator the role of John Smith, In George II. Itrondhurst's successful fnrce, "Why Smith Left Homo." He remained with these managers tor several seasons nnd played under (heir management In London. Af(er several engagements In New York productions, he wns engaged by Henry W. Snvngo lo crente the role of Honorable Jim Ilnckler, In Heorge Ado's successful comedy, "The County Chairman," lu which he Is still appearing. Felix DnwnJtimplhrontum, (he Emperor of nil the Conjurers, hogs leave to announce to the nohlllly, gentry nnd Inluibllnnls. thnt he has Just arrived with live Arabian conjurers, which be Intends to exhibit for this night only. Any attempt to describe their extraordinary performances must be needless, as the proprietor Halters himself thnt Ihey must he seen to lie believed. They nre nil brothers by (he same father; their names Mulcy, lleuussnr, Abdullah. Muslnphn and Snckec. At the conclusion of their ncvcr-yct-equnlled feats of sleight of hand, ledgerdeninln, &c, Ihey will take each a lighted torch In ell her band, when lo I Incrcdlble lo relate! Kuckoe. wild burning torches, will Jump clean down Miistnpha's throat, who In an Instant, with equal dexterity, will pass down Hie throat of Abdullah ; then Alidallah will jump down that of llenassar, and Itennssiir down his brother Mulcy's, who, lastly, notwithstanding he Is eneiiiulierod w'th Ills four brothers and their four torches, will throw a nip-flap somersault down his own Ihronl. and leave the audience In total dnrkness. I'rnlintiim (*/." This, like the former announcement, drew n great crowd, nnd the people were swindled In the same wny. Play bills Issued for Ihc Queen nnd members of Hie royal family are always printed on while satin. It nuiy he mentioned that for many years the bills of the Drary-hine Theatre were printed on n private press situated in n room below the singe of the them re. It: was not until 18110 or IS,"m Hint the hill Is-gan to assume the shape and form of those now Issued In our own eminlry. lu Ihe Knclhih theatres the play bills are for snle, and are not distributed gratuitously. l,ct me conclude these remarks with a piny bill of Ihe Theatre Itoynl, Little IVdlluglon. taken from n work entitled "Humorist." edited by Theodore Hook. The bill, nfter expressing the manager's hopes and eunmeiatliig the members of the company, proceeds to slate thai — "The performances will commence with, for the llrst time, nn entirely new melodrama, never hefore performed, founded on Ihe affecting, barbarous and Interesting murder of .Martini Squlgs, to be called. The Hatchet of Horror; ti r, The Massacred Milk Maid. Principal characters by the following unprecedented cast : Messrs. Snoxell. Waddle, Stride, Kugene Strut nnd Slugger: Mesdames Biggleswade. S. Strut, •Miss Warble (with a sough Mile. Sara Dos I'.ntrechnla (with a Pas Stiel), and Ihe part of Marlha Squlgs (the Mnssitered Milk Maid) by Miss Julia Wriggles. Ill ihe course of the piece will be Introduced n new and splendid representation of the Filial Cow House In which the Murder was committed! together with the Identical ,,.*,,„ II lood-S mined Hatchet, with a Lock of the Victim's Hair sticking to It! ! with which the Murder was committed!!!! and the identical wll, ,, ...,., Favourite Cow of tbe Massacred Milk Maid ! I ! for which the Murder was committed ! ! ! I ! At tbe conclusion of the piece, A Favourite Bong by Miss Julia Wriggles. After which, an entirely new and elegant Burletta, without Bongs or any musical accompaniment whatever, la one act, to be called All Bound My Hat, with the following powerful castl!! Mr. Slppleton, Messrs. Pigs, Olgs and Brigs; Mesdames nobs, I'hobs, and Snobs, nnd (with a Song) Miss Julia Wriggles. Previous to which, for the first time, a lashlon able Interlude, to he called Who Are You? .the principal characters by Messrs. Slppleton and Olgs, and Miss Julia Wriggles. Trior to which, the Favourite Broad-Sword Hornpipe, By Miss Julia Wriggles. In the course of the evening, A Lauuhable Comic Song, By Mr. Augustus Strut. The whole to conclude with, never acted, a laughable Farce, to be called She Shall He nn Actress. Colonel Dash by. ...Miss Julia Wriggles ! llnrlequin by. .Miss Julia Wriggles!! Venus by. Miss Julia Wriggles! !! Molly O'Kooncy (nn Irish girl) by Miss Julia Wriggles!!!! Jcnnnle M'ltrlde (a Scotch girl) by Miss Julia WrlggleB ! ! ! ! ! Eugenie La Belle (a French girl) by Miss Julia Wriggles !!!!!! Matilda Schwabstz (a Oermaa girl) by Miss Julia Wriggles !!!!!!! and Lady Clara Lovely (on English lady of Fashion) by Miss Julln Wriggles M 1 1 1 1 1 1 On this occasion, Mr. Snoxell and Mrs. Biggleswade will perform. On this occasion Mr. Slppleton will perform. On this occasion Miss Julia Wriggles, Miss Warble, nnd Mile. Sara Dcs Entrechats will perform. On this occasion Mr. Slppleton and Miss Julia Wriggles will perform (n fieo pieces/// On this occasion the Whole of tbe powerful and (inprcccdentcd Company engaged at this theatre, and announced as above, to perform la the evening's per formnnces, Will Per form II I Such Is tbe bill, and It might be copied with advantage by many of tbe managers of our great metropolis. ««» Hit IFF REMINISCENCE OP THE CIRCUS IN DAYS OF YOKE. CHRISTMAS EVE. BY CLEMENT C, MOOHB. WUITTK.V KXPItBSSLY FOIt THE NEW YOHK CI.IITEK 11V AX OI.I) RETIRED PROFESSIONAL. [Reprinted from The Cliiteh dated Oot. 8, 180-1.] The Old Richmond Hill. The old Richmond Hill Circus, at the coraer of Charlton and Varlek Streets, wos an institution In Its day, and one well stocked with many valuable reminiscences of "Revolutionary Times." When this valuable spot wns llrst arranged for n circus of the olden time. It stood on a high hill over-looking the noble Hudson, and also the grim wnlls of the old State Prison on the hank of the river near by. The hill nnd the prison were In the village of Greenwich, outside the city of New York. Canal Street wns only a country ditch, and was highly ornamented with various foot bridges, over which pnssougers crossed when they visited Greenwich village. In the yenr 1818, the first show wns opened on the hill; the venerable old mnnslon stood In front of the "show shop." The old homestead was fitted up ns a country resort. The equestrians who nppeared nt or about that period have mostly all passed away to the home of the "CnpuletB" ninny years ago. The only living Yorlck of that by-gone time you Introduce to the readers of Tub Ciikm through the medium of n most excellent wood cut portrait a few weeks since; I refer to James W. ilnncker. May Ills venerable "phiz" never grow less ; the picture Is Uncle Jim all over. J. W. It. made his debut on (his hallowed spot. Richmond 11 111 House wns the resort of many wellknown actors of the Revolution. In 1742, Mr. Prime occupied the residence on Richmond Hill. It wns nlso nt one time the resilience of Sir Guy Carlton ; Lord Dorchester dwelt In the old Manor House, and It wns nlso occupied bv Aaron Burr. The Walton House. No. 324 Pearl Street, resembled the old homeslend on Richmond Hill. The old Walton House Is also full of rich historical Items of the past. It was on the roof of this house that General Washington nnd a few select friends assembled on one memorable night to witness the destruction of the British fleet hy a Yankee torpedo. It wns a failure. In a manner, yet Mr. Bull thought "Sntnn lu harness" wns at the bottom of the river: for ho wisely cut his cables and put outside of the Hook instnnter. James W. Bnnckcr, of whom I have spoken, performed on the bill when quite nn urchin. Uncle .T|m Is n true descendant of the early Knickerbockers. Ills nnine can be traced from Dedrlck Ilnucker; the Verryvougcrs ; Von der Schnlders, nnd the Von Snlglers: nil of them as old and genuine stock of Mnnluittnn Island as ever crouched "Halt Hookies en PrcUes" Kove Slna Krout or Sturgeon Snout; little did friend Jim's venerable nncestry dream of their descendant standing preeminent ns one of the most accomplished circus performers of his day, which wns a fact. Jimmy, ns his frlendB called him, was from his earliest boyhood fond of the drum, of which he was it complete master nt the early age of eight years. Ills wonderful activity Introduced him to the sawdust. Mr. Ilnncker wns a most excellent rider, vauller, tumbler and clown. As a clown he was. A No. 1. In fact. Bnnckcr and Bill Gates (late comedian nt the Old Bowery under Hnmhlln) were the clowns of thnt time; the lnnrcla were divided; Ilnncker, however, was the performer ns well ns n vampo. As a crosB-vanlter, friend Jim excelled nil competition; this style of vaulting has become obsolete ; bnekwnrd somersaults were not much In vogue nt that day, Ihe cross-vaulting consisting of varied and difficult leaps, forward somersaults, etc., la which Mr. It. stood nt the lop of the list, hnvlng thrown thirty successive forward somersaults (In circus parlance known ns jerk forward). He was n circus manager for n number of years. He wns nlsr. In the employ of the lute Rufus Welch, ns assistant innnnger, both in the United Stntes and Kuropo In 18nn n theatre wns opened at Richmond Hill, and In is:tj Mrs. Barnes opened there nn amphitheatre. The ring was on the stage, "J. W. Itnncker's Equestrians" appeared. It wns opened In 1883, by Old Nn te Howes, as a circus nnd theatre. The equestrians engaged nt the opening were It. Siinils, J. Peterninn, A. Hands, John Vnll. W. Stone, .1. Prosser. M. Degnrmo, ring master. Johu Stlckney ; clowns, Arch Madden nnd George Stone. Tliey nre nil dead but Ihc last named. The nctors were George Hyatt. P. Bodily, Tom Flynn, C. Thome, A. Fonno, Grnhnm. Wrny and Frank Fremont, brother of General Fremont: Mesdames Walsleln. Warring, Wrny, etc. Several other companies experimented on the site of (ho Old Richmond Hill, olt and on, until the year 1844, when It gnve up Its venerable ghost In the show line. Norn. — Wntsnn's Annnls says ; "The nnmo of Greenwich Street wns known to the Knickerbockers ns Slinwhnekniilckel (Indian name). In 1787 tlw seine wns drawn on the bench where now runs Greenwich Street, from Denver Street to the Battery. Many herring and other fish were caught. 'Flint II street would be (here never entered the mind of the early Knickerbockers. A large rock stood out hi Hie middle of Ihe present Greenwich Street, then In tbe water, on which stood n rude summer house." ficcprinfed from The New York Clipper dated Ueo. 27, 1873.] "Iwas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not n creature was stirring, not even a mouse; The stockings were hung by the chimney with tare, • .. . ... In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there ; The children were nestled all snug In their beds, While visions of sugnr plums danced through their heads ; And mamma In her kerchief, and I In my cap, Had Just settled our brains for a. long Winter s When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the mntter : Awny to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash ; The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below ; When what to my wondering eyes should appear But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer, With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew In a moment, It must be St. Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whlsteled and shouted and called them by name: "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer; now, Vixen ! On, Comet! on, Cupid ! on, Donder nnd Bllxen. To the top of the porch ! To the top of the wall ! Now, dnBh awny, dash away, dash away all I" As leaves thnt before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with nn obstacle, mount to the sky, So up to the house top the coursers they flew. With the sleigh full of toys nnd St Nicholas too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing nnd pawing of each little hoof. As I drew In my head and wns turning around, Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound. He was dressed all In fur from his head to his foot And his clothes were nil tarnished with ashes and soot: A bundle of toy3 he had flung on bis bnck, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. Ills eyes, how they twinkled I his dimples — how merry I Ills cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry; Ills droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight In his teeth, And the smoke It encircled his head like a wreath : He had a broad face, and a round little belly That shook, when he laughed, like a bowl full of Jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right Jolly old elf: And I laughed, when I saw him, In spite of myself, A wink of his eye and n twist of his head Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread. He spake not a word, but went straight to his work And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose. He sprang to his sleigh, to. his team gave a whistle, And away they flew, like the down on a thistle : Hut I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to nil a good night !'' ♦*■• DERE VAS ONCE A EIRE IX PITT STREET. wmtte.v ron the new youk clipper, HY OlIS. PHILLIPS. [ffcprfiifcd from Tim New Youk Clipper, dated Dec. 21, 1807]. It vns midnight, und der pceb'es all Va? schnorlng In deir beds ; Der firemens, too, dey vash ashleep Jilt delr lire shirts under delr heads ; It was a lofoly moonlight night, Und dere vns no noises nt all, Oxcept It vas der kitteu-catB Dot squenlln In der hull, Der Dutchmnns dot vork der midnight vugons, Mlt der big numbers on der side, Could nelder bo seen or sraelled or heard, Cause dey vos not oud, dls night — Hans Breltmnn, he vns a tailor feller, Und he did vork ver Bhcap, Und he built dot corduroy suits of close lly his shop, dots In rut sutrcet. Now nans dot day vas vorklng hard, He vas tired und his arms vns sore; Und so quick he laid him mlt der bed, He didn't know somedlng mors.. He dream such a kind of bully dream, So quick dot ho got ashleep; He dream his name It "Norfull" vas, Und ho feed dot pigs and sheep. Hnns dreamed he vns up mid der top of a hill, Mlt harrows und axes und ploughs, By n place rare dere vnsen't some Councllmcns, Und dere vasn't somn Swill-mllk Cows. He drenmed dere vns such n man corned along Dot looked so almighty queer, Un lie asked dot Hans of he can't drink Such a glass of Lager Bier. Yust den lions got a awful punch, Dot most made him lost his brentb, Und he shouted oud "Vat der duyvli Is dot!" Dot a f raided him most to death. He put oud his hands und feel his vlfe, Und she holler mid all her might: "Hnns somedlng bite me by dor back ! Git up und make a light!'' Hans he git up right off der bed, Makln' grumbnlls like n benr, Und he snyB "Vy couldn't you let me went Till after I got my beer." linns he vns mad, und he shwear und curse, Und he calls bis vlfe a "Vitchcs;" He shtlck oud his hands und hurt his head In tryla' to llnd der matches. After avile ho got dot dings. Und ho make der candle lighted, Und his vlfe she makod her stlckplckles on To find der dings vot Idled — She llnd by her bnck u big Pen-roach, OC she didn't I'm lieen a llnr — She glved one Jump und der candle fell down Und made dor bed a (Ire. Kntrlnn she ecrcain und boiler und dings— Hnns says "Shut up your tuourter — (lo get some vnter so quick like you can Und help make der lire piny oudcr." Der pollccmens vns fast ashleep, So sehimg like pigs mlt clofcr, Hut ven dey hear Katrlna scream Dey Jump up und nm all ofer. Dey rub delr eyes und blew dot vlstlcs Ko quick (lot dey hear dot soronra, Und ven dey look up und see dot blaze Dey run for der Flrc-innehliie — Hnns llnd der place vns get tin' loo hot, Und be made up his mind dot he quit It, So he stick somedlngs In n old llnnd-box Und run down stnlra und forglt It. Dot Hooks und Lndders dot soon coined nlong, Und der feller vats got der Rudder lie didn't sbteer der Lndders straight Und ho knocked linns In der gutter — Hnns he vns hurtled, und up he sprlnged llnd hese nose dot comes out blood, Und he says "You do a dam wrong ding, Veil you knocked me by der mud." Dor firemens voorks nnd holler und Bhout, Und der vnter vns nwful shtrenm, Und der only Flre-wngon dot vasn't hv vork, Vns der von dot don't vork mlt shteiuii ; Der fellers dey laugh und shout out loud : "Dot ding you gol's played oudcr — You heller took dot by Uncle Simpson, Und Jab It up der spouder."