The New York Clipper (December 1914)

DECEMBEB 19 THE NEW YORK CLIPPER. VII MERRYCHRISTMAS A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL THE ADVERTUMS OF YOUNG IDA VE pi H. BY MABE J't:-JIBWTOS. Unoeda, Iowa, was proud of young Du\e Smith. Uneeda's two thousand odd Inhabitants (and the majority of them were odd. In- deed) declared lilm a most promising youag man. But young Dave Smith did not reciprocate. He was In no way proud of TJneeda, Ioirn, or anyone of Its two thousand odd towns- folks. You probably couldn't discover TTneeda on the map of Iowa If you searched for a week, but It's there Just the same, and If you doubt It, ask young Dave Smith. Ureeca was proud of Dave because of his extreme cleverness. For Dave "put on" all the amateur shows for miles around. He also wrote dialogues, lyrics and music. Hut Dave was far too clever and proline for the limited field In which he labored. He. himself, admitted It. Likewise, he de- clared, his Btutt was "too deep" for the boobs In and about Unaeda. Consequently, Dave, disgusted, deployed ambitious thoughts toward Chicago; while, at times, even New York was mentally reconnoltered by the young and clever Mr Smith. He had "run Into" Davenport (likewise In Iowa) on several occasions to witness per- formances of number two musical comedy companies, and he was thoroughly convinced that his stuff had It on the best of them. Dave lived with his father and mother. That'? how he lived. One day he took counsel with his father. The senior Mr. Smith owned two-thirds of T/ncoda, but he didn't acquire bis holdings from writing dialogue, lyrics and music. Me was not theatrically Inclined. It was said that he nearly saw a production of AI. Mar- tin'o *Tncle Tom's Cabu' once, but a mort- gage he held fell due on the same day, and he was not the calibre of man who believed In bunching his pleasure all on the same day. "Father, said Dave, "I hove outgrown Unccda. I-nin destined to become the coun- try's greatest librettist. My royalties In one year will buy TJneeda. I shall go to Chicago.' "Good idea," replied his father, "good idea, provlflin' It don't cost me nothln'.' "Father," said Dave, "I am about to ask you for a hundred dollars. Please try and control yourself." The old man did trv, hut he had a bad spell. He stroked his chin whiskers a fml ten minutes and then be said: "Son, I'm goln' to take a chance with you. I'll give you a hundred dollars because there sre so many train wrecks these days that I figure It might prove cheaper for me In the end." So Dave packed his best musical efforts in his straw suitcase, while his mother packed his best clothes In his trunk. His father painfully squeezed out a hundred dollars, and cautioned him nsnlnst pickpockets and the cars—especially the pickpockets. Ills mother had faith In him and kissed him a fond farewell. And Dave had a barrel of faith In himself. Most young authors have. A letter' from Dave to his mother: __ "Chicago, May 10, 1014. "DBAS Motheb: "Arrived safe nnd sound. My. but this is a big. nolsv place. It must be three times larger than Davenport The only persons I have spoken to are a policeman nnd the landlady of my boarding house. He told me which way to go to And It and she told me how much I'd have to pay—In advance. "Qce, It seems funny to have to pay board. "Am writing this letter In my room. It's rather small, and I have to use my trunk lor a chair, but it will do until I decide which hotel I shall stop at. Yon know It would never do for a successful author to«busIness I was In they made an awful fuss live In a cheap boarding bouse. lover me. So last night they took it upon "To-night I am going to the opera houscllbemselvcs to take me around and show me to see a musical comedy. Not that it wlllMthe town. They all apologized for being giro rao any Ideas. I don't believe any of Ikinder short of money on account, they said, them could. But It might be a good plan to?of pay day coming on Saturday. So I Just keep posted. • up and showed them I wasn't depending on "The suprer bell Is ringing, and as I am no pay days for mj/ money. Then they pretty hungry will bring this letter to a slapped me on the back and said I was a close, "dara." I thlnt It viae awful nice of them to 'Will wrlto you to-morrow and let yoi take such an Interest In a perfect stranger, know when my piece will be acted for the don't you? first time In Chicago "One fellow said be d often heard of "Your affectionate son, Dave." II" e $ tt L t bu !; ?* » evcr tnoue1lt " had got M "P. S.—Address my letters Dudley Smythe. » r Wcst s Iowa - All great authors change their names to a non do prune, so I suppose I must, too; be- sides, I think it sounds nicer." The Second Letter: "Chicago, May 11, 1914. ■ Dbab Motheb : "Am a little disappointed In not having good news to write you to-day regarding my piece. . "I was up at five this morning and thcu had to wait until almost seven before I could get breakfast. They don't seem to get rtarlcd here like they do back home. "However. I hurried through my breakfast, cat In restaurants, which I could easily do on account of the »?..cheaper, 'Am going after another manager In the morning, and will telegraph you tbe dato my piece appears, so you can get ready and come on. Your loving son, Dudley." The Tcurth Letter: "CniCAao, May 18, 1014. "Dbau Motheb : "Your letter received 0. K. "I'm all right. You mustn't worry If I don't write often, as this is a busy town riitl wo are kept pretty busy you know. "Have moved since I wrote you. Got a room on a cross street nearer the river, and I like it better, besides quantity of It. and asked the landlady where , "Morey seems to go awful fast In this I could find the manager of the opera house, town. But don't worry. I'll have plenty She wanted to know which one. I saw then Just as soon as my piece Is taken, which wilt there must be more than one here, so 1 answered back quick, the nearest one, please. "She wanted to know If I was an actor. I told her no. I was an author. She laughed hearty-lite and told me which way to go. probably be to-morrow. "I read my piece to one of the fellow* here in tbe house. I loaned biro $10 till pay duy, end he liked It awful well—my plecp, [ mean. ,m WSSStt£?mS2d£rZ£Tbfomm "?<«£ »«y anything to rather about thl. fo t It had a big sign out: 'Showan's na he don't never understand why onybody Grand Opera House,' and I went In. I asV-d should loan money without a mortgage tied mdo't^eTdX untllSi an i 0 donTsee a how "Went to a burlesque show Inst night. It men make a Zcess keeping such houis wasn't as good ns mine, but they tell me I his 'Finally he came Inul waited right in should go and see how the girls areas so I office and handed him my manuscript. ™ a S |v " my manager some Ideas. I didn't ^SlSW MirfHE and »«?g.« WW"' i .M!V*K9Rjffi&jK m ucKw S's'&s'Mk weather Is awful hot and I suppose that's 'liy. "You may expect to hear good new* any why. 'once over,' thnt lie had no douht but what I came from some place like that. "He wanted to know If my piece was fimnV and I told him It was He snld to „ " lon mny expect to near good fU ?-ThA%e%skedVe If I baTnotlced which «nd me a few dollars? way the door opened to let people out, and if „„ s _n.„i| t„ t u. T A I hadn't he'd show me. And ho did. That . ' i °- *!" made me lose my patience, and I picked up I t . 0 i d J ol i? b 2 u J rav piece ond wen* out. But I'll nave him « £??%!» f' c , eating out of mv hand yet. see if I don't. I Th< 5 mt ™ Ml eating — know now there s more than one opera home manager here, and I can afford to be Indi- pendent . , . "Will write you again to-morrow ana let you know which one my piece goes Into. "Affectlo lately, Dodlbt.'' The Third Letter: "Chicaoo, May 12, 1014. "Dear Motheb: "Have just returned from seeing another manager. That Is, I didn't exactly get to see him to talk to him. He was in his ovlngly, Dudley." -P. 8.—Tell father that the young fellow ' I told you about I loaned ten dollars to liken lece, I mean." tter Chicago, May 23, 1014. "Deab Motiibb: "Yours received and note what fnt.ior said about when you told him. I never knew blm to use that kind of language In front of you before "However, I don't need his money. There's a fellow rooming bcre in the house who Is n < lo?e friend of Dime Ilosenwald, tbe biggest musical comedy man here. Well, this young fellow Bays that he can get me a hearing with Uosenwald, but that It will take ten private office, smoking, with bis feet on bis bucks to fix It. Ten bucks Is slung tor teu desk, and when the boy took In my name— dollars. There's lots of slang used here, vou know that's the style here—he peeked I'm g.ilng to give It to blm, as 1 think It will through the crack of the door at me and told be policy. he boy to tell me he was busy. I told tbe "I wish now I hadn't been sp liberal w h boy to go back and tell him that I had a my money. I saw more of tie town with funny piece for him to read, and be sent hack those fellows I told you about than I should, word that be could toll It was funny from I asked the fellow I loaned the ten dollars where he snt to. and that liked my piece so well, lo pay "I am not discouraged. All great authors me back. He didn't remember me at first, have had the same experiences. . Then be says, 'Oh, yes. I get yon now: I see "The lnndlndy here is very nice, but she there's still one born every minute.' I <Inn t don't (rive us any too much to eat She know what he meant, but I do know I didn t waits on the table herself, as Bhc says hired Bet my ten. Srli are so opt to be careless. One of the „ "I'll let you bear from me loon as I see boarders snickered right out when she said Rosenwald. They My he's an awful nice that and she gore him a hard look, and tbe man. ISS. lest pleceV meat, I noticed. "I may move aga to. If I do 'II let you ■There's a crowd of awful nice young fel- know. "Your» with love, lows boarding here. When I told them what Poplbt. The Sixth Letter: Chicaoo, May 20, 1014. "Dhab Motiibb: "I wrote you three days ago about tho fellow I gave ten dollars to to Introduce ■ue to Rosenwald. I discover Hint I hnvo been deceived. He Is a four-flusher, which Is slang for somothing or other. Anyhow, I ain't seen Rosenwald or ho ain't seen mo. "I was up to his office and told the boy to tell Rosenwald that Dudley Smythe, tho playwright wanted to see blm on Important business. Well, the boy came out and said that Rosenwald said that he didn't even know I was sick. Somebody's been lying about me. I ain't been sick. It's bard to get to talk to them managers, but all I want Is one cbanco to read my ploco to them. "How Is father feeling? "There's a fellow rooming with mo now nnd we divide tho rent. He showed mo ram you can get an awful nice meal nnd a big glass of beer tor five cents. I don't care bo much for the beer, and I told the proprietor so. He said ho should worry, anil that Hector's was still open. Folks here have a funny answer every time they spuuk. "How Is father lately? "The fellow I am rooming with knows somebody In the theatre business nnd he's going to sec what he can do for me. So I'll have good nowg tor you most any day now. "Tbe weather Is awful hot here. I'vo tee* looking at straw hats In tho windows, but ain't made up my mind which kind to get. "Write soon to your loving son. Diiw.ky." "P. S.—Lot mo know how fnther 1h feel- ing and whnt kind of a straw hat you think I look beat In." The Seventh Letter: "Chicaoo, Mny 20, 1014r "DEAn Moment "At Inst I have something good to write to you about My room-mute knows a fel- low who works at the Hnrrnck Theatre. Ho ain't an nctor. but ho docs something on iha .since. Ho ho mudo arrangements for me to tnltn my ploco down to tho theatre yesterday morning and road It right on tho ntH'o Well, there wns quite a fow folks there, nil actors and chorus girls, but they didn't sen re me none. "They nil suit down and told ma to go nhend mill read my piece, and if It made them tuuB.li they'd tell the manager. Wall, I started to read, and they euro did laugh. Home slnrtwl to laugh before I begun, in1 bum laughed In tho wrong place, lint tlioy all laughed, nnd Hint's whnt 1 was nftur. One fellow looked at my snugs nnd said the Cherry Sisters would have hoiiiu repertoire If they'd ever sung them. "So now, mother, I thlok my troubles nr.i nil over. I'll bo ablo to pny buck father the hundred with Interest. "You enn write me mime address, as ( probably won't movo to tho Hli^l'liiiut Hotel lor another day or two yet. "Yours with love, Dummy." The filial Letter. From Fnther to Hon: "Unekda, la,, June 0, 1014. "Son DAVin: "Your letter received day before yester- day, and 1 hnvo been thinking It over nver since 1 wan In hopes somothing would hap- pen to you In Chfcngo, or possibly on the way back, but nm disappointed. "MnvtoHc llnd ticket hack home. Heth ltohhlns has promised to glvo yon n Job driving one of his grnvel wagons. He'll pay >on vseven a week, which Is soviti more limn I think you're worth. A tier you pny your mother six for board the other dollar enn npply on whnt you owe me. Don't bring Hint show rubbish baek here or you'll henr from me. ■ "Yours respectfully, Himon Smith. "P. H.—Remember two things. Iliirn up Hint stuff of yours, nnd when you write your iinmo again write It David Smith." Wishing You All a Merry Xmas snd a Happy New Year JOSEPHINE DAVIS ... and... BILLY GELLER Arnaut Brothers BOOKED SOLID 40 Weeks U. B. O. Time Merry Xmas and Happy New Year To All