The Edison phonograph monthly (Jan-Dec 1912)

12 Edison Phonograph Monthly, March, 1912 Walt Mason Walt Mason, genial soul, purveyor of much good, homely advice, is a firm believer in the Phonograph as a home entertainer He is the owner of an Edison, from which he derives no end of pleasure, and he realizes how much real comfort a Phonograph can bring to any one who is capable of musical appreciation. As a resident of Emporia, Kansas, Walt Mason has seen the Phonograph solve the amusement problem for many who could seldom hear the music of the greater cities, and this fact has so strongly impressed itself upon his mind that he has become, so to speak, a Phonograph Fan. Walt Mason is a keen observer, a humorist — even a gentle satirist when the occasion demands— and there is no doubt that his clever but sincere pen has won him thousands of friends. He is on the editorial staff of the Emporia Gazette and contributes to many of the leading newspapers of the country. His daily articles in the New York Globe have been one of the prominent features of that excellent journal for a considerable time. That Mason has not caught the fever of the mad scramble for wealth, but has proven himself far "above this temporal power," is easily gleanable from his writings. He is sorry for the unfortunates who have developed their tastes to that point which finds vulgarity in the simple pleasures of yesterday and to-day. His attitude toward the hypercritical and supercilious Phonograph knocker is expressed in the following article which he wrote for the Chicago Daily News: CANNED SYMPHONIES. "The man in the house next door has invested his hard-earned savings in a Phonograph," said the morose boarder, "and he keeps it going every evening just when I want to read some uplifting book. Unless he can be suppressed I foresee that I'll have to hunt another boarding house, for I can't stand it to hear a corn sheller trying to sing 'When the Daisies Bloom, Dear,' every evening." "I trust you will seek another boarding house," said the star boarder, politely. "Such a proceeding would give general satisfaction. As William Clarence Shakespeare remarked, the man who is not charmed by the concord of sweet sounds is fit for treason, stratagems and spoils, and some extremely sweet sounds are produced by the Phonograph next door, and by all other high-class Phonographs which are properly oiled. "It has become the fashion with half-baked humorists in boarding houses and elsewhere to say biting, caustic things of the Phonograph. These humorists are the descendants of the merry men who used to insist in print and on the stage that a mother-in-law in the house is ?orse than a contagious disease. A quarter of a century ago you couldn't pick up an almanac or a comic paper without seeing the mother-inlaw held up to scorn and contumely. "In the course of time the joke concerning this admirable female became so halt, lame and' blind that it was forced into retirement, and then the stovepipe joke made its triumphant debut. It was held by American humorists for many years that the chief employment of the married man was putting up stovepipes and that such employment caused him to mutilate the English language beyond recognition. This truly irresistible quip did yeoman service for many years, until it. was discovered by a committee of savants that the average married man seldom has anything to do with stovepipes. "Then came the Phonograph jest, which has contributed to the gayety of nations for several years, and which appears to have a long career of usefulness before it. When a man appears in society and wishes to convulse people with merriment he makes some casual reference to a Phonograph, and everybody lies down on the floor and indulges in apoplectic mirth. "Now, the truth is that the Phonograph is one of the great blessings of this age of blessings. I have a married friend at whose humble abode I pass an evening once in a while, and every time I go there he furnishes a free concert with his music mill. He is a Phonograph fiend and keeps his machine going most of the time when he is at home. Perhaps some of the neighbors are sore about it, but what of it? If a man can't open a few cans of music in his own home, what's the use of having a home? "Before he got the Phonograph habit my friend was a restless, dissatisfied man. He didn't know what to do in the long winter evenings. He got tired of beating his wife and jawing the children, and his eyes were too weak to read much, and he was a trial to himself and everybody else. He liked music, but it cost a good deal to go to concerts and take his tribe along. He belonged to a club, but he was a poor hand at poker, and generally lost. "Then he was persuaded to buy a Phonograph and his nights were filled with music and the cares that infested the day folded their umbrellas and chased themselves. He gets more happiness out of that little box with a sheet iron horn attached than the millionaire gets out of his yacht, and his wife and children have an equal share. He buys a Record for a few kopeks and plays it a million times, and enjoys it every time. "Tell me, if you can, of another amusement as cheap and satisfying? The Phonograph has made home life in this country twice as attractive as it used to be, and it makes my blood boil in my veins when I hear an aleck speaking of the canned music grinder in slighting terms, in a misguided effort to be funny. "And I do hope, my dear Mrs. Jiggers, that you use distilled water when diluting the milk for this table."— Walt^Mason in the Chicago Daily News. More and more Dealers are using Window Displays — a positive proof that they are a paying investment.