The Edison phonograph monthly (Jan-Dec 1916)

10 EDISON PHONOGRAPH MONTHLY, SEPTEMBER, 1916 Musical Merriment NO JOKE Referee in Bankruptcy — "What was the cause of your failure in business?" Manufacturer — "Advertising." Referee — "What! How's that?" Manufacturer — "I let my competitor do it all." — Music Trades. A SOCIAL EVENING During a social evening a woman sang for the guests. One of the guests turned to a meek-looking little man sitting at his side and said: "How awful! Who can she be?" "That," replied the man addressed, "is my wife." "Oh, I b-b-beg your pardon!" stuttered the other. "She's really a — I know she'd sing beautifully if she made a better selection of her music. Who do you suppose wrote that song?" "I am the author of that song!" replied the meeklooking little man. DOUBTED IT Office Boy (in music dealer's store) — "Wotcher doin' lookin' at the office wot fired you last week? Tryin' to get back, eh?" The Fired One — "Naw, I jes' dropped roun' to see if they wuz still in bizness." — Music Trade Review. HOSPITABLE Mr. Hoggenheim — "Come and dine with me tomorrow?" Mr. Walker — "Sorry, I'm fixed up ; I'm going to see 'Parsifal.' " Mr. Hoggenheim — "That's all right; bring 'im alor.,5 with you." — The Taller. THE ETERNAL FEMININE "Your daughter seems assiduous enough at the piano. I thought you couldn't get her to practice." "That was before she found out how much it annoyed our neighbors." — Pittsburgh Post. CLOSE HARMONY A metropolitan theatrical production which carried its own orchestra played a small town. As the theatre had an orchestra of its own, they "doubled up." One night there was an awful discord, and the man in charge of the production noticed that the local musicians were playing half a tone lower than the company's orchestra. "What's the matter?" whispered the producer to the orchestra leader. "Your men are playing half a tone lower than the others." "Sure, they are," said the leader. "That's the only way we can let the audience know that we've got two orchestras." — Musical America. DISPENSARY ESTABLISHED AT EDISON FACTORIES THE establishment of a medical and surgical dispensary at the Edison factories is a recent innovation. The dispensary is for employees who are injured or taken sick while at work. It is in charge of Dr. A. Daniell, a well known physician of East Orange, N. J., who is at present assisted by a trained nurse. Arrangements are being made by which a corps of seven first-aid experts will become connected with the work in the course of a few months. The institution will be of the greatest value to the employees of the company, and many expressions of appreciation from them already have been heard. No expense has been spared in equipping the plant dispensary, and it contains a complete set of modern surgical devices. Among the instruments is a powerful magnet that will be used to extract steel splinters from the eye or from other parts of the body they may pierce. Other surgical apparatus, much of it of a very costly nature, has been provided and every arrangement for the prompt use of it in case of emergency made. In addition to the surgical apparatus, there is a complete medical equipment. One of the hobbies of Mr. Edison is the study of the conditions under which his employees work, and their improvement wherever possible. Because it is impossible to prevent all accidents or to safeguard against attacks of illness, Mr. Edison ordered the establishment of the new dispensary. PHONOGRAPHS FOR TROOPS ON BORDER Massachusetts militiamen on the Mexican border are enjoying phonograph music through the efforts of the members of the Special Aid Society for American Preparedness of Boston. The organization recently sent four phonographs and a large assortment of records to the soldiers who now are enjoying at least one comfort of home.