Exhibitors Herald World (Oct-Dec 1929)

November 16, 1929 EXHIBITORS HERALD-WORLD 77 J. C. Jenkins — His Colyum HOLLYWOOD, CAL., November 1, 1929. DEAR HERALD-WORLD: The more we see of Hollywood, the more we are convinced that if we stay here much longer we will have to take something for it. We have been led to believe that it was only the natives that were mentally unbalanced, but that's a mistake. Yesterday Larry asked us if we had seen "Magnetic Hill," and we told him we had never heard of it. He said "Well, there is a hill out near here that is so strongly magnetized that when you drive to the foot of it you can shut off your motor and the car will run right up hill." We said, "Yeah?" Then Doug got in and said "No use talking to this skeptic, Larry. You can't make him believe anything. We'll have to show him." And we said, "Come on, where's the car?" They drove up to the foot of the hill, and Larry told Doug to stop the car, then he said to us, "See that hill, don't you? Now you watch and you will see this car run right up here." The car never budged and Larry and Doug looked at each other, then Larry said, "I believe we have not gone far enough, drive around that bend." Doug did. Then Larry told him to stop the car again, and he did, and the car stood still. Then Doug and Larry looked at each other again and Larry said something that sounded like, "welldon'tthatbeathell." They tried this three or four times. Finally, we said, "You birds needn't go to any further trouble to prove to us that you are both crazy, we knew that before we left the office." And that ended the "Magnetic Hill" stuff. Yesterday we went over to the Educational studio where they were shooting some scenes and they stopped the whole works and shot a picture of E. H. Allen, general manager; Steve Roberts, director, and ourself. After this was over, a lady who was watching us and who is an actress, said, "May the Saints be praised, for 'It covers the field like an April shower,' and if you wasn't so old I'd kiss you right here." We looked at her and said, "Why, Eva Thatcher! If you were 50 years younger we'd attend to that matter ourself." Then they pushed us both out in front of those Kleig lights (or whatever they call 'em) and shot another picture. Then Eva put her arm around us and led us off the set and told us how well she remembered playing our house 20 years ago when she was barnstorming, and what clean dressing rooms we had in our theatre and a lot more good things about how nice we tried to treat the troupers. Then she said, "But do you know. Papa, I have been following you all over the country and have said to myself a thousand times that 'It covers the field like an April shower' is the best slogan I ever heard, and now I want you, in selecting a name for that car, to forget about these goofy blondes and brunettes and give the car a real name, and I am going to suggest 'April Shower' as the correct name, because it covers the field." That nearly knocked the wind out of us, and we said, "Say, Eva, if you will wipe that barn paint off your mouth and come around back of these wings we'll kiss you, by gosh, proper or no proper, for you have certainly suggested something." So now the matter is settled, and from this moment on our car is to be officially known as "April Shower," don't forget that, and Eve wins the prize, which is a free subscription for two years to the HERALD-WORLD, which is about the best prize we can think of. We are sorry we can't adopt all the names sent in, for we appreciate the fact that many a sleepless night has been spent in trying to select a suitable name by our many friends, and we want them to know that their efforts are none the less appreciated. But don't get discouraged, folks, we will give you a chance to select a name for our next baby. * * * It certainly pays to advertise. Yesterday Doug had an ad in a paper for a stenographer, and right now there are 33 girls — one sod and six grass widows — here in the office waiting to see him, and yet that guy is still in bed at 8:30, leaving us here all alone unprotected, and this is Hollywood! Don't believe anything you see in the papers, 'tain't so. [Later.] Doug has just arrived. Had he been ten minutes later we don't know what might have happened. [Still later.] Doug has just finished the postmortem, and the inquest is over. We don't know yet whom he selected, but if he picked the tall, skinny one with a wart on her nose instead of the little brunette with blue eyes we are going to take the matter up with the health department. * * * We wish to publicly apologize to Janet Gaynor for what we said once about "SEVENTH HEAVEN." Today we witnessed a preview of "SUNNYSIDE UP," with Janet and Charles Farrell, a Fox picture directed by David Butler, and if we knew of some way of making it stronger than to say that "SUNNYSIDE UP" is by far the best entertainment we have seen in many months, we would be glad to do so. "SUNNYSIDE UP" gives you one hour and 30 minutes of laughter and 30 minutes of sympathetic tears for Miss Gaynor, without a smutty remark or a suggestive action in the entire picture, and that's what we call entertainment, and that's what 12,000 small theatremen all over the country will say when they play the picture. * * * As to that Wall Street smashup: We note that Standard Oil and the banking interests say they are satisfied and that everything is going to come out all right. Yeah, we presume they are, since there have been a million and a half working people who have lost everything they had on earth, and now they have started to bull the market in order to draw in another run of suckers. Hollywood has her head bandaged and is drinking bromo seltzer to try and recover, but as soon as she gets her next pay check she is going to go bughouse again. Stud poker is a gentlemen's game where you have a chance to see everything in front of you except the gentleman in the woodpile. We much prefer it. We have met and have seen some more prominent people. We will give you a list of a few of them: Harry Joe Brown (Ken Maynard director) — Harry is a nice boy. Wears President suspenders and is very fond of croquet and apple dumplings. Wilson Heller (Publicity, Tec-Art studios) — Wilson had a love affair when he was qui^f young which accounts for his writing so much poetry about the moon. Oliver Hardy (Hardy-Laurel comedies) — Oliver is quite handsome, but he should take up some of the slack in his trousers. Eddie Quillan (Pathe featured player) — Eddie bowls tenpins very well but has to watch Hodges when he keeps the score. Doug's pencil slips. Al Christie (Christie comedies) — Al is a fine chap. He says that Christie comedies and the HERALD-WORLD furnish the best entertainment on earth. We agree with him, which makes it unanimous. Hal Howe (general publicity man) — Hal is quite fond of spinach and thinks Richard Dix wrote the Declaration of Independence. Next week we will tell you about some more of 'em. J. C. JENKINS, The HERALD-WORLD man. P. S.— The HERALD-WORLD covers the field like an APRIL SHOWER.