Exhibitors Herald World (Oct-Dec 1930)

December 20, 1930 EXHIBITORS HERALD -WORLD 39 J. C. Jenkins — His Colyum LINCOLN, NEBR. DEAR HERALD-WORLD: There's just one thing about a turkey that we don't approve of — they've got only one gizzard. When our wife brings a roast turkey on the table we spear for the gizzard, but Ruth beats us to it. If we had our way about it, every turkey would have 15 or 20 gizzards. Last night in the Central cafe we ordered turkey giblets and they brought us three hearts and six gizzards and that was the best meal we have had since Larry Urback ordered a dinner for us in the Brown Derby in Hollywood last fall. There's this about Larry that we admire, he knows how to order a real dinner, and he can detect a substitute from the real article just by smelling the cork. In the language of Sam Gooble, "Give us gizzards or we'll foreclose the mortgage on the old homestead." $ :[: )je Since they are already well supplied with lip sticks, rouge, tennis racquets and bridge sets, about the most useful wedding presents one could give the bride today would be a can opener and a remedy for the cure of indigestion. Our husbands are becoming more emaciated every day, yet prohibition has to shoulder the blame for everything. 'Taint right. * * * One can travel three times as far today on 50 cents worth of fat pork and 50 cents worth of beans than he can for the same money on the Twentieth Century limited, which proves that it is economy to walk. * * * We went up to the capitol building today to call on the state sheriff, to see if he wanted us for anything, and we saw that wheat sower up on top of the capitol dome 400 feet high without a stitch of clothes on. Betcha that guy gets mighty chilly before this winter They tell us that traveling by airplane has come to be the safest way to travel, but every paper we pick up headlines from two to a dozen killed in smashups. If this keeps up for a while the airplanes will make the Chicago racketeers look like a bunch of pikers. * * * We wish Peggy Bungle would marry either Hartford Oakdale or Montgomery El Dorado and be done with it and give her mother a chance to rest. The poor woman is becoming all frazzled out, and the public is entitled to a little consideration, too. * * * We never like to cast reflections on the good name and reputation of innocent, demure damsels, but our judgment is that Tilda ought to be questioned relative to the whereabouts of Uncle Bim's mogul diamond. If Cleopatra can't throw some light on this matter, then Sid Smith has been hornswoggling the public and ought to be prosecuted. * * * You will observe that thus far in this Colyum we haven't said a word about pictures. There's a reason. For the past two years we have tried to say some nice complimentary things about the stars and their pictures whenever the pictures would warrant it, but do you know that Irene Rich has been the only lady who has written us and thanked us for our good opinions, and this makes us wonder if Miss Rich is the only star in Hollywood who has had the time and nerve to follow this Colyum. We have said some nice things about our two favorites, Polly and Marie, but we'll betcha that if either of those girls wrote us at all, they'd tell us that we didn't know enough to pound sand in a rat hole, and it's the truth that hurts. We have given Al Christie's airedale pothound a lot of free publicity, but we will venture to say that Al would charge us as much for one of his pups as he would Hodges or Larry, who think more of a queen-full than they do of pups. Maybe our reward is piling up somewhere, who knows? And maybe after we have those roast mallards for Christmas dinner we will feel better about it. But somehow just now we feel sadly neglected, and if you girls don't want us to say complimentary things about you, then, doggone it! we'll cut you off the list, in spite of our dislike to do so. Mail will reach us at Neligh, Nebr. * * * If you are partial to sea stories, we would advise you to go see George Bancroft in "DERELICT." This picture has some wonderful shots of an angry sea breaking over the deck of a wrecked vessel, and with George Bancroft in it, makes it a he-man's picture. There is just enough love stuff in it to satisfy from that angle, and it is free from anything of a suggestive nature, both in action and dialog. The director mellowed this up somewhat from the average story of this nature. "Love 'em in port and forget 'em at sea," was George's motto, until he found the right lady, and then it was different. We believe that "DERELICT" will prove a milestone in sea story pictures from which you can measure the road both ways. * * * Speaking of jazz music: Joseph Chernlavasky, conductor of the Saenger Orchestra at New Orleans, says, "Jazz is an art if it is played as an art." Oh, Yeah? And we might add that castor oil is a physic if taken as one. * * * We note on one page of the HERALD-WORLD a reproduction of four three-sheets and two six-sheets, all advertisements for "WAR NURSE" and each depicting a woman folded in a man's arms. Part of the caption says, "The displays are almost a drama in themselves." SUFFERING CATS! * * * Since the supreme court ruling on the Uniform Contract, we understand that there is talk of the producers going back to the old Deposit System. * * * Away out here in Nebraska where people are not supposed to know anything, and where a lot of us don't, every man is presumed to be honest until he has proven himself to be otherwise. Some few have furnished that proof, but there are others who refuse to be cataloged in that class. The adoption of the deposit system will be looked upon as calculated to serve one of two purposes — either the producers want the exhibitors' money to do business on, or they class all of them as unreliable and crooked and have to be snubbed up to the hitching-post. If the producers are seeking to widen the breach between the producers and exhibitors, they can do it in no better way than by the deposit system. As we remember it now, Nebraska was the first state to kick the deposit system out, and were we to guess on it, she will be the first one to do it again should it be adopted. Sometimes a little match can start a helluva fire, and we don't like fires out here. Let's try a little business judgment. J. C. JENKINS, The HERALD-WORLD man. P. S. The HERALD WORLD COVERS THE FIELD like an April shower.