Film Fun (1928 - 1942 (assorted issues))

MIRTH MARCHES ON Joe — Have you got a picture of yourself ? Roommate — Yeah. Joe — Then let me use that mirror. I want to shave. Kid Sister — Sis, do you mind if. I follow in your footsteps ? Big Sister — Not at all , but don’t be at my heels. "Why, toots, I have to be a cut¬ up in my business.” "So you’re a comedian?” "Naw! I’m a film censor.” “You don’t smoke cigarettes, do you, little boy?” “No ma’am, but I can let you have a chaw of terbaccer.” “Why did they evict the medical student from the library?” “They caught him removing the appendix from the book he was read¬ ing.” "Been drowning your sorrows, I suppose?” "No, but I’ve been giving them a darn good , swimming lesson.” “Beautiful, I’m dynamite!” “Yeah? Then don’t get near me.” “And why not?” “You’d be playing with fire.” “Are you the bull of the campus?” “ That’s me, baby.” “Moo.” The spinal column is a bunch of bones that run up and down your back, keeping you from being legs all the way up to your neck. A girl’s skin wouldn’t peel from sunburn, if she didn’t. “So your husband is making the rounds?” asked one wife of another. Whereupon the other said, “Yes, he manufactures billiard balls.” "I’d be a rich man today if it weren’t for liquor.” "Oh, so you drink too much?” "No, I sell lemonade.” O. D. — Midshipman Gish, you are sentenced to forty-five days in the * brig on bread and water. How do you like it? Gish — Toasted, Sir. ■ F ather — ( reprovingly ) — Do you know what happens to liars when they die? Johnny — Yes, sir. They lie still. Husband — I’m looking for some¬ thing to give my wife. Trainer — But this is a gymna¬ sium, not a gift shop. Husband — I know it. I want to exercise and develop a good punch. 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