We use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) during our scanning and processing workflow to make the content of each page searchable. You can view the automatically generated text below as well as copy and paste individual pieces of text to quote in your own work.
Text recognition is never 100% accurate. Many parts of the scanned page may not be reflected in the OCR text output, including: images, page layout, certain fonts or handwriting.
Modern Beau to Modern Belle
I AM SADLY perplexed, I confess: The vaudeville show, you are sure, With its nude-ankled girls, is impure; But you on the shore
will wear less — A costume you're dainty
and trim in, Too pretty and precious
to swim in ; And chaperons, mothers
and all Are confessed by their frocks at the ball.
You say the stage dance is indecent — Your sweet smile sours as you view it; But the maids dance alone who trip through it. But the women who romp in these recent Mad revels rampant and chaotic, Timed to every motion erotic Of the native love dances, their hands Clasp a partner — and he understands !
You sing me the popular airs — If I said the things they recite Or attempted the things they invite, Your father would kick me downstairs. And the ears need a wash of carbolic That hear — yet you sing them in frolic, And, of course, your young lips must be
clean ; But I wonder just what you can mean.
I'm afraid I'm behind in my part;
I'm your lover and not your censor.
But to be an innocent fencer With the devil's a difficult art; And to dress in sin's clothes just for show Is a new thing. I'm awkward, I know. Be patient and pardon me, pray, If I sometimes forget it is play.
—Stokfley S. Fisher.
IF HISTORY SHOULD REPEAT ITSELF, AND NOAH'S ARK WERE TO BE USED TO-DAY
The Chief Problem Overcome
"I've taken the most important step toward building a fashionable apartment house."
"Let the contract, have you?" "No. I've selected a fancy name for the building."
Two Classes of Art
"Works of art are divided," said the incurable punster, "into two classes: The chromos and the Corot-mos. "
" I think your husband dresses so nicely and quietly."
" Really ? You should hear him when he loses a collar button ! '
To Dan Cupid
DEAR DAN — Where are you nowadays? We used to like your sportive ways, When with your darts and little bow You took pot-shots at high and low !
We even took it in good part Though now and then a flying dart Struck stinging home. 'Twas pleasant when The tiny wound was healed again.
But now the arrows are so rare That once seemed flying everywhere ! Perhaps you need to-day, my son, A modern rapid-fire gun.
The times are changed. No longer slow, Our youth are never still, you know. So if you'd add hearts to your string, You'll have to hit them on the wing!
But whether bow or gun you wield, We hope to see you take the field, For life is rather dull and gray Without you and your sportive play.
When you your mother Venus see, With kindly words remember me; And while this mortal life endures, I'll sign myself, sincerely yours.
— Tudor Jenka
His Strange Notion
"My nephew, Wadley Weams, has a queer theory." grumbled the old codger. "He'll argue by the hour that by the exercise of kindness and patience a hired man can be tamed and domesticated, so that he will become of real assistance on the farm ! ' '
All There
"She talks like a book." "Yes, the volume of her speech is cruly wonderful !"