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FXLMINDIA
March 1938
KIND WORDS
She: "You say I'm the most beautiful, divine and gorgeous creature in the world? Are you trying to kid me?"
He: "No, I'm trying to kiss you".
TIT FOR TAT
A woman who engaged a Chinese cook asked him his name.
"Me name San Toy Lee", he said.
"Ah, your name is too long," the woman replied. "I will call you John."
"All right," responded John. "What's your name?"
"Mrs. Charlotte Ann Hemingway", she told him.
"Your name is too long," remarked John. "I call you Choi
ly."
THE PANTS
A distinguished professor of a noted university was delivering an address before a group of businessmen. At its conclusion, a manufacturer joined issue with him.
"Science is of no benefit to me," he insisted.
"What's your business?" inquired the professor.
"I manufacture braces," was the reply.
"And where would your business be," was the next question, "if the law of gravity was suspended".
DESPERATE
Two girls were discussing men.
"Which would you most desire in your husband — brains, wealth or appearance?" asked Dorothy.
"Appearance" responded Alpha, "and the sooner the better".
OLD SINNER
"It's just eleven, Uncle. Now, how about a spot of night life?"
"Ay, that'll suit me, lad. I'm quite ready for bed."
THE CURE
"Your wife needs a change," said the doctor. "Salt air will cure her."
The next time the physician called he found the Scotsman sitting by the bedside fanning his wife with a herring.
NEAT
"Spirits are killed by overdilution," declares a doctor.
Only by a loud and early cry of "When!" can a whisky be saved from a soda-watery grave.
Lucky Boy with so many around! Gary Cooper with girls of all nations in Sam Goldwyn's "The Adventures of Marco Polo". He was a traveller with perhaps a girl in every port.
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