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Kicks and Kisses
A girl who went to California and there saw a fig tree for the first time: "Oh! she squeaked, "I thought the leaves were much larger!"
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A girl who was staying at a hotel phoned the desk clerk that there was a rat in her room. ' Make him rome down and register", replied (the clerk.
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A diamond is a woman's idea of a stepping stone to success.
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Sometimes a girl must have a brassier or bust.
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Girls used to try to hide their tans, but now they try to tan their hides.
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Some women don't shrink from kissing gigolos, but their bank accounts do.
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An old maid is one who has given up all hopes of giving in.
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A girl who bought a book about jthe nudists read it from cover to iuncover.
"Every time I kiss you my head swims."
"Well, don't try to be a Johnny Weissmuller in one night, dear".
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Some girls have eyes like stars. They wink at every passer-by.
Pajamas are masculine; the feminine should be majamas.
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Many a girl marries a night owl in the hope that he'll turn out to be a homing pigeon.
When a girl is in a pensive mood she's thinking of things expensive.
A platinum blonde is a cool proposition, because she is hair conditioned.
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It's strange, but men who horse around have nothing stable about them.
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When a husabnd starts playing with fire, it's his wife that burns.
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A private secretary is a girl who has a high time on her overtime.
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Even when a woman's life is empty, she's full of hope.
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A woman is always a necessity to a man, but some men just want the bare necessities.
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A girl who refuses to let a man give her a kiss on the lips, is apt to get it in the neck.
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He "When I kiss you like this something seems to snap."
She: "Yes, wait a second till I fasten it."
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First Cutie: "Since Harry met me, he's been trying to grow hair on his chest."
Second Cutie: "To show his manliness."
First Cutie: "No to hide those horrid tatooed women."
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When a girl wants to make a lasting impression on a fellow she uses indelible lipstick.
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Just when you think your past is safely buried, some dirty dog digs it up.
Girls who go to nudist camps ought to have their heads examined— instead.
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If opposites attract, "yesmen" go out with girls who always say no.
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A man who hid in a married woman's clothes closet so often that the moths called him by his first name.
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Tight clothing doesn't impede the circulation; the tighter her clothing, the more a girl circulates.
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Some of the excuses women wear for dresses are too thin to deceive
anyone.
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Golddiggers get the sugar by knowing how to hold their tongue.
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"Darling, I'm insane about you, mad about you, crazy about you!" "Ah, now you're talking sense!"
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A smart nurse is one who hangs around the docs, waiting for her ship to come in.
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Some gals use a pill to get rid of a headache, but others use a headache to get rid of a pill.
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The iceman never calls at the Mae West home, because there's always a full chest there.
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"Speak up! Are you for or against nudist colonies?"
"Well, there's lots to De said on both sides of the fence."
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Have you heard of the absentminded cashier who rang up one of the waitresses and kissed his cash receipts goodbye?
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The man who comes home as tight as a drum, should expect to be beaten.