FilmIndia (Jan-Nov 1942)

FILMINDIA merit as a professional chaperon, her proud boast being that she knows all the tricks of the studio including monkey tricks. A TECHNICIAN KICKS It appears that the cine-technician who went to the hills for a holiday with the arrival of the bachelorhusband, has now threatened to send me on a holiday to a hospital. Candidly, I appreciate the guy's concern for my health and I cannot think of any better place to go horizontal than in the peace and quiot of a nursing home .... but. the only snag in the whole thing is that whenever I am promised a hospital-holiday something always seems to go wrong, and I am left hale and hearty and holiday-less. No, my friend, you can't send me to a hospital .... no more than the Lady who tried putting me behind bars. You see, I too, have my lucky star! A WEATHER-COCK GARMENT I understand from an American magazine that a designer of female clothes recently had a brainstorm, as a result of which dames will now make themselves clearly understood even when they are firmly gagged. The new garment is a reversible nightgown with the word "Yes" embroidered on the outside (or inside) and the word "No" embroidered in red on the reverse — inside (or outside, as the case may be). I recommend that this apparel be immediately manufactured locally so that it could be used as the idea) Xmas gift for a young lady from a gentleman, who doesn't mind being half-sure of himself! NEENA'S PARCEL It was a day during the warm expectations of Christmas that I found a nice big parcel wrapped in crisp brown paper lying on my table For a moment I felt the postman had left it there by mistake, but on an inspection of the label I discovered with a pull at my heart that no mistake had occurred and I was the rightful claimant to the package. 78 Slowly and with gleeful anticipation I untied the thing and when I had opened it imagine my surprise to find a thick file bursting with letters. The accompanying note attached to the cover read as followsDear Sir, As you were impudent enough to print the "Interview" T did not give, will you please now make amends by informing the people who have overwhelmed me with letters asking for autographed photos that I shall be sending the same to them as soon as my studio prepares a fresh stock. The first two hundred I had vanished within a day of Mmindia's publication. As you and filmindia have jointly been the cause of all this I am sending you the letters to realize the extent of your mischief, which you call journalism. Yours etc. Neena. RECORD BREAKING FAN MAIL For a few minutes I gazed dolefully at the mass of letters spread before me and then with the courage of Farhad attacking the mountain I began counting them, more out of curiosity than anything else. For half-an-hour with the spirit of an ancient Christian martyr I stuck to the tedious job. . . .after that I gave it up. I had counted a thousand and about twice that amount lay still uncounted. By then the size of her fan mail had completely bewildered me. However, while still in that benumbed condition three facts slowly emerged themselves from the heap of Neena's fan mail: Firstly, the amazing pull of "filmindia". Letters had come from almost every corner of India and even from remote stations in Burma, Ceylon and Africa. Secondly, the auickness with which Neena had become popular even without an actual screen appearance. Thirdly, how deeply the necessity of new faces is felt among the fan* A WORLD RECORD! I am not quite certain about fan mail statistics, but I am definite on one point, and that is, that Neena's fan mail constitute a world record, inasmuch, that never before in the history of cinematography has an January 1942 aspirant for film fame received so many letters before being seen on the screen. Honestly, I am surprised at the whole thing as I never in my wildest imagination ever dreamt that such a large following could be collected with the mere publication of an unauthorised "interview". I plead innocent, Neena.... the fault is nlmindia"s and its hefty editor's! COURSE FOR A CURSE A letter received from a friend at Lahore states that the Punjab University has started a special six months course for students desiring to learn journalism. This is, indeed, very revealing and worthy of commendation, but still I feel that six months training will prove futile ps experience has shown me that it takes more than twelve months for a journalist to become bold enough to demand his first month's wages. I suggest that after the six months' theoretical course the students be sent to Bombay to receive practical training with news weeklies. After a year I guarantee they will have become thoroughly versatile, completely hardboiled and totally penniless. After that, if they are still bent, on remaining in Bombay they could apply for jobs as tenors in the Taj Mahal Hotel, for they would have received considerable training in singing for their money! HIS FATHER'S VOICE Overheard at a school: Teacher: What race of people have the largest population on earth and multiply at an amazing rate? Journalist's Son: Creditors!