FilmIndia (Jan-Nov 1942)

July 1942 FILMINDIA darling," he would say. "and I won't allow anyone to come in between us." But her curiosity had remained as keen as ever and she had at last confided her wish to Lachhmi, the wrinkled old hag of a woman who had been appointed by the Raja to wait on her. And that day. taking advantage of the Raja's absence for the whole day on shikar, she had persuaded Lachhmi to take her along in the Zenana, disguised as a servant woman. The Rani — ■ beautiful, proud and aristocratic of bearing — was holding a regular court in the big hall where she sat in the centre on a raised dais surrounded by her friends and servants. Lurking in a dark corner, Radha was both surprised and amused to discover that she herself was the subjecf under discussion. "Raniji," one of the senior maidservants was saying in disgustingly obsequious tones, "Why don't you do something about this street woman that Raja Sahib has brought here?" "I am told she is quite beautiful." the Rani replied casually with a supreme air of unconcern. "But", interjected one of the Rani's privileged friends, the buxom wife of a neighbouring landlord, "Aren't you jealous of her for stealing your husband's love?" The Rani's reply cut Radha to the quick. It was like a slap in her face. With cold and calculated contemp: the beautiful aristocrat said, "It is below my dignity to feel jealcus of a woman impairing my position. Moreover it is nothing unusual for a Raja to keep a few such women for his amusement. A mistress and wife ran never be equals Radha could bear to hear no more. Shamefacedly she slunk out of the house. Lachhmi, when she came back, started a long-winding apology, emphasising that it was Radha's own idea to go to the Zenana. "Oh. yes, oh, yes," the unhappy girl cried, "but leave me alone for the present." She wanted to think. "A u-i/e and a mistress can never be equals." The Rani s words were still ringing in her ears. They irritated and tormented her because they were so true. In those words the Rani, as it were, had shown a mirror to Radha. And she shuddered at the reflection she saw. If Radha had possessed a wellinformed and logical mind she would have pondered her position In the light of historical and economic causes which were responsible for her present unhappy position. But she was, at that moment, a woman with b.er elemental passions aroused. All she knew was that "A mistress and a wife can never be equals," and she desperately desired the impossible — to be a wife! And yet out of the very depths of her hopelessness gleamed a faint ray of hope. Hadn't the Raja assured her several times every day ever since she had been there — that he loved her more than anything else in the world? Radha was used to such declarations of passion and suffered them with sardonic good humour. She had no illusions about such "love". But the young Zamindar was so ardent in his wooing, so persistent in his declarations, that at moments she c&uld actually believe that he loved her not as a mistress but as a sweetheart. In this moment of optimism and weakness she once again took refuge in that frail belief. If he really loved her, she thought, may be he would also consent to marry her. Her face brightened at the thought and her imagination toyed with the prospects of a married existence. It was a pleasing anticipation — secure life, a definite and respected status m society, home, children. There was only one thing which rather spoilt this picture. As a respectable married woman she would not be allowed to dance. And though she had never heard of the much-abused cliche "The Divine Urge of Art", dancing was her very life It was in her blood and bones. It was the only mode of self-expression she knew. She could never be happy without an opportunity to dance. It was bad enough to live as the Raja's mistress and to dance, when she did, before an audience of one (how she pined for the boisterous encorer of the crowd who came to see hei dance at her house!) but to reconcile herself to a life without dancing at all was terrible. Ihe arti" in Radha shuddered at Qte idea But she reflected, sacrifices havs to be made for a rise in the social scale. and if she wanted to be a wife and a mother she would have to forego her passion for dance. The artist was vanquished by the woman. Radha was awakened from her reverie by familiar foot-steps in the verandah. The Raja, flush with the Shikar's pride after a good day's shoot, walked in bubbling with gniety and good spirits. 'Raja Sahib. I love you so mueh — if only we could be husband and wife!" 65