FilmIndia (Feb-Dec 1949)
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December, 1949
FILMINDIA
No. Your question* are boring, your face may be worse.
Why is Nargis so innocent ? Who told you that?
MRS. P. K. SI GUN A JOHN (Kakinada)
Do you possess a copy of the Holy Bible and do you read it at any time?
/ was taught the Bible in a Jesuit school but my neighbours were not with the result ihat I am denied the privilege of loving them. And some of them are good-looking.
H. R. KRISHNA MURTHY (Bangalore) Why boys follow girls?
That is Papa Adams legacy to his posterity. What is birth?
Birth is but a beginning of death. Why are some men called dogs? Only to insult the dogs!
DM PRAKASH VYAS (Mhow) Can you become a saint?
/ think I have become one already. My wife's ever-increasing circle of girl friends confirms my suspicion.
P. SAMP AT (Bomba; )
Which nation of the world can boast of virtuous women?
Wherever there are births, there are mothers and mothers make nations virtuous.
Y. C. WHIG (New Delhi)
Why doesn't Suraiya manage a false set of teeth or at least hie her front out -hurt?
She has had new ones put in very recently but they look funny because her mouth is flat and wide which is an inheritance from her mother.
JENNIFER LOBO (New Delhi)
What would you do if you found yourself on an uninhabited desert island with Morarji Desai?
/ would distil liquor, grow tobacco, gamble with cowries, dance, sing and do all sorts of things to keep Morarjibhai busy lecturing to me. At the end of six months he would die of a sore throat.
V. ORPE (Bombay)
What do you think of a person loving a married woman?
Loving a married woman is poaching. In England and America— the democracies of modern civilization — they shoot poachers. What is your opinion about Miss Nancy de Scaffa -lias Miss Universe? Is she so beautiful as to be called 'Global Beauty Queen? I think, even our Maharafshtrian ladies are more beautiful! What do you think?
Foreigners always pick up a wrong one and call her a beauty queen. Nancy is neither beautiful nor queenly. We can find a million Indian women better looking than this "Miss Universe.7' I hear Producer A. R. Kardar is quitting India. Is it true?
Not yet! He has still to add to his dozen fortunes before he thinks of shifting.
S. H. THAKKAR (Bombay)
Dr. Ambedkar said the other day in the Constituent Assembly that he does not like newspapers. Why?
Because they don't print his photographs.
MOHAN CHANDRA MISRA (Lucknow)
Do you believe in relations?
Absolutely! I believe in their talent to make my life miserable. I keep them at amis length.
W hat is suicide for an orphan? Acquiring a parent in death.
ISHWAR V. MAHBUBANI (Bombay)
Y\ hat sort of death do vou w ish to have? A quick one! I am an impatient type.
S. P. VASUDEV RAO (Bangalore)
I want to become a successful politician. How should I begin?
Take a soap box to a seashore and start ranting. That is hoiv most of our leaders began and they are still ranting.
S. VENKATRAM (Visakhapatnam)
Who is older: Leela Chitnis or Durga Khote?
They are both at an age where a few years more or less dont matter. Never ask the age of mothers.
SURESH N VKIL (New Delhi)
If the Pakistan Premier invites you for a post in his cabinet as the modern Rirbal. will you accept it?
Pakistan's Premier is not an Akbar. He is the modern Aurangzeb.
Is going to jail an additional qualification?
Not nowadays. The jails are not sanctuaries of patriots these days.
RAJESHWARJ TANDON (Agra)
Can you spend a night all alone in a cemetery?
/ have spent nights in a crematorium in search of ghosts and then I discovered that ghosts walked the earth outside the crematorium.
L. SUBBU (Secunderabad Dn.)
Why don't you sell your autograph?
/ do. The charge is ten rupees for an autographed photo. Cash in advance and no V.P.P.
MRS. ESTHER DORAISWAMI (Tanjore)
To what degree does reading assist self-education?
/ am purely a product of books having had no university education. If you like what I write you know what reading books can do.
OM PRAKASH JHUNJHUNWALA (Kanpur)
Pakistan merchants have decided to boycott Indian goods. What does it mean?
It means one more kick on our bottoms.
ARJAN D. BHARWANI (Ootacamund)
Yi hen does a home become Hiroshima?
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