From under my hat (1952)

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as Vilma and her attendants floated down the aisle. The organ boomed forth an odd selection— King of Kings from The Messiah. It was by a happy coincidence that best man DeMille's picture King of Kings was playing at Grauman's Chinese Theater. As the bridal party neared the chancel and the bridegroom and his best man moved toward the bride, an old dowager, hot and worn to the nub by the long delay, turned herself around in her seat, surveyed the crowd, and remarked in a hoarse whisper heard distinctly throughout the church, "Heavens above! All this fuss, and not a virgin in the bunch!" The reception was the best of all, featuring a buffet table laden with orchids and rows of luscious brown turkeys, baked hams, salads, rolls, petits fours— and guards all around it! You were supposed to look at the food. Peg Talmadge, mother of Norma and Connie, got hungry and asked a caterer's man for a turkey sandwich. He gave her ham. She snapped, "I said turkey!" "I know, madam," he replied, "but we're not cutting them now." For years Peg had got her way; that's the first time I ever saw her turned down. She ate the ham but it almost choked her. So we swallowed the wedding— if not the buffet. Funny how things slip back into your memory. I've attended many weddings in my day, but this was more circus than ceremony. I remember wishing at the time that I had a column so I could write it up. The couple went on their well-publicized honeymoon and returned. For a year afterward, Sam paid for Vilma's English lessons. But she never would learn. She'd got her man, so why worry? Rod was cast as Norma Shearer's leading man in Let Us Be Gay. His part was small; Norma got most of the footage; and Rod was so annoyed he'd bury his head in a newspaper while her close-ups were shot and read his lines to her from behind the paper. I warned him at the time that this might be his last movie unless he showed more enthusiasm. He didn't, and it was. But peace, it's wonderful! Vilma and Rod are still married, and, lo and behold, to each other! She plays golf, and he sells real estate. 175