Harrison's Reports (1962)

May 26, 1962 HARRISON'S REPORTS 79 of confusion and the promise of hilarity and riotous tomfoolery fail to come off. For that, to a great de' gree, Sellers has himself to blame since he took on the arduous chore of double-threat man. Besides starring in the cinema, he also directed it. The fun doesn't rippie along with any smooth sense of cohesive continuity. There is a stodginess to it that robs this favorite actor of his struggle to turn it into a charade of Sellers' joyously clever entertainment that has catapulted him to box office heights envied by many of our own brand of funsters. To be sure, though the other billed stars are somewhat known to movie-goers, they are not box office magnets. The piece is well dressed in CinemaScope and De Luxe color, giving the photography a little extra plus to an otherwise unavailing entry. It's misaimed profundity makes it fodder for the art house clientele. This deals with a rather backward school teacher in a small French town. Mr. Topaze (Peter Sellers) is honest to a fault. He brooks no coercion even giving a bad report card to the grandson of a titled benefactress. This angers the headmaster and Sellers loses his job. Sellers is forthwith hired to pull off a piece of business skullduggery. It is all engineered by Nadia Gray a sex-ridden lady who knew her way around. Sellers thinks this is a great break for him not knowing that he's being used as a "front man." He soon becomes a rapacious financier. Whatever his former honesty, it has been sold down the river and sacrificed on the altar of success. It's not how much you know, it's how much you've got that matters in the new pedantic philosophy that has engulfed him. Sellers even fires his benefactor (Herbert Lom) which gives him visiting rights to the voluptuary, Miss Gray. Sellers, for all his former moralities and unassuming righteousness realises that the new world he's living in is hardly inhabited by a superfluity of honest men. The former school teacher finds no reason to disagree. Produced by Pierre Rouve; directed by Peter Sellers; screenplay by Rouve from a play by Marcel Pagnol. General patronage. "The Road to Hong Kong" with Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Joan Collins, Dorothy Lamour, Robert Morley (Paramount, ]une']uly; 91 mins.) GOOD. This is a potpourri of cinematic sukiyaki cooked up in England that would have passed muster in the early days of Dorothy Lamour and her sarong. Today, the pattern plays itself out with the weary reminder of having been there many times before only the address may have changed and the clothes may have been given a different cut. But, most of the running gags still are of the same Bing Crosby-Bob Hope cut of good natured fun, hilarious situations, fastpaced buffoonery that runs from the low of banality to the high of newness. Stitching all this together with the self-surprising (but well-practiced) naivette of a Bob Hope on the loose, is the comedian with a string of old jokes made to sound like new material that must keep Joe Miller tossing in his Valhallaian joke book. But, it holds things together. What matters is that it's a lot of fun you're treated to in this one even though the fast-wheeling Hope finds his former crooner-partner more than a little out of breath when he (Crosby) catches up to the irrepressible Hope. The Norman Panama-Melvin Frank duo are in productional evidence behind the creative scenes adding no small contribution to this overall pleasing entry. Joan Collins helps to dress up the proceedings there being no great love interest to be bothered with in this one. Dorothy Lamour is in for a fast scene or two. We even get a landing from those outer spaces of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin who soon are lifted out of the focus of the cameras. Photography, good. The story, what there is of it, - finds Bing Crosby and Bob Hope giving out with an American song which makes them suspect by a squadron of cornilly dressed "scientists" who are tied up with a Third Echelon. What Russia or America can't do in conquering space, this adult boy scout group are sure they can pull off. They use as bait the lovely Joan Collins. Finally, Hope becomes the dupe of these nightmare merchants. They guinea-pig him into a memory test, which if successful will solve science's vexing problems. But, there are complexities. Crosby and Hope find themselves in a Tibetan Lamasery, Hope is given a drug potion, they escape and carry on their shenanigans, with the inevitable chase taking over. The Russians shoot for the moon, Crosby and Hope shoot for a safe place, they are in danger, walls close in on them, their lives are at stake, Dorothy Lamour gives them a hand, they ride a rocket to a distant planet, Sinatra and Martin drop in dressed as space-men, the girl (Miss Collins) is there, to be shared it seems by the two aloners. Now you try to make sense out of all this. If you don't, don't worry! It makes for a mess of fun. Produced by Melvin Frank; directed by Norman Panama; screenplay by Panama and Frank. General patronage. Memo to Samuel Goldwyn: When you speak, the newspapermen write, the public reads and the industry ponders. The other day, you dealt with the astronomical salaries the acting end of our business is demanding, - and getting. You, as one of the most successful independent producers, were on the actors' side. Considering the millions you've spent on acting talent, you have reason for your stand . . . But, that is not the real reason for this memo. This is the thought that struck us as we agreed with you that, "— we do not have many picturemakers in Hollywood any more." Meaning, that we do not have enough pictures being made by the men who know how to make them so that they, the films (in turn) will make money for the exhibitor . . . Which all leads to this thought, and hope: You are still a man of surging energy; a picturemaker possessed of the vast knowledge of good picturemaking which results in big returns at the box office. You told us, yours was the hope of always being active. We wish you good health and continued vitality. We also wish, that soon you'll reactivate your famous workshop and give the theatres another "Samuel Goldwyn presents" entry into a terribly depleted film market.