Hollywood Studio Magazine (April 1967)

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DON’T MAKE ME LAUGH - (that is a Jim Dash) by Jim DASH Did you hear about the senator who is screaming for Free Enterprise to take over the U.S. Mail just because his cousin took a train to Washington in a new dress and everytime the train stopped at a station, she was thrown off with the mail sacks? Haw! Haw! Haw! “Fang pushed me out of the car and got a ticket. Yeah, a ticket for littering.” -Phyllis Diller Now that he has his new fishing license, he’s ready for those moments of truth that are near at hand. Those are those Monday mornings when one fisherman can call the other fisherman a LIAR. -Ralph McClure Trooper Larry Storch tells of the Irishman who on Friday went into the Commissary and ordered a whale steak and a beer. We have no whale steak, apologized Connie. Then make it shark cutlets, said Pat. We do not serve them either, solaced Connie. Well, heaved the disappointed Pat, bring me a porterhouse steak and a beer. As Connie left, Pat glanced Heavenward and, with self-imposed penance, said: Lord, you know how hard I tried? (said Leonard Corey ... it sounds like Ole Pat Bailey) And then there was the time that Les Hydeman was knocked unconscious on the Eddie Leonard set. Stand back, said Eddie, give him air and some brandy . . . Les opened his eyes and said, faintly . . . never mind the air. —1929 Universal Bulletin Another of those Dean Martin homecomings: Last nite when Dean tripped in there was Jeanne standing on the Welcome Home rug pointing at him. I missed you, she cried . . . the bullet was imbedded in the ceiling. (In the February issue of the ‘STUDIO,’ we reported that Jeanne’s salute raised the roof. Watch for the May edition ... will she hit or miss? Berry's 10-Day Hawaii vacation now costs less than 1st class jet tare alone ► Save up to $143 per couple ► Includes trips to the neighbor islands ► Private Jet transportation on World Airways’ intercontinental Boeing 707 fan-jets World Airways Is a permanently certifii 3. supplemental air carrier. • Superior hotels — sightseeing excursions • Free gourmet dinner and entertainment en route Berry's new PRIVATE HOLIDAYS Fr °m ^ eg Los Angeles | ^7 17-day Hawaii holiday including 3 neighbor islands .$449 TEL-STAR TRAVEL, INC. 4051 Lankershim Boulevard North Hollywood ACROSS THE STREET FROM UNIVERSAL CITY STUDIOS 877-1175 • 984-1779 MARCO MUFFLER AND AUTO SAFETY SERVICES MUFFLERS, PIPES, SHOCKS SMOG DEVICES HELLWIG OVERLOAD SPRINGS TRAILER HITCHES FREE PICKUP AND DELIVERY Tommy and Blaise Pendergast "We don't meet competition. We create it!" 4340 LANKERSHIM BLVD. North Hollywood JUST NORTH OF UNIVERSAL STUDIOS 985-0705 Bill Erwin 9