Hollywood (Jan - Oct 1934)

Confessions of a Movie Play-Girl Continued from page forty-three furious, but there was nothing I could do, for I hadn't obtained my final decree from my husband. I knew, of course, that Daimler had exerted all her influence with the studio against me, and I knew that people were laughing at me. Too late, I began to wish that I had taken the advice of my dramatic coach. "T Kept My Expensive apartment until 1 I was ordered to move by the manager, who was kind enough, however, not to attach my clothes. "I found a court bungalow, borrowed enough money to pay the first month's rent and vowed that I would have the laugh on Hollywood before I was through. "A newcomer who has been given a studio contract and then released after one bad picture is apt to find Hollywood an unfriendly place. I did. I haunted the casting offices and hounded everyone I had met, but couldn't find work. "Piece by piece, I pawned my clothes to pay the grocer. Once I was so desperate that I actually lived for three days on milk that I stole, early in the morning, from the neighbor's porch. "I was ready to cry quits and wire to my parents for railroad fare when I met a young assistant director whom I had known at the studio. He loaned me enough money to get most of my clothes out of pawn, and talked his brother, a director for Warner Brothers, into giving me an unimportant bit which paid me $250 and gave me a new lease on life. "You might suppose that I had learned my lesson by then. But, with a few dollars in hand and a few good clothes to wear, I immediately started out to burn the candle at both ends. It's part of my nature, I guess, to be a partyaddict. "| Made A Frantic effort to 'be seen' 1 by the powers-that-be in Hollywood. I spent every penny that I could lay my hands on for clothes. I lunched every day in the Brown Derby and other movie colony cafes. All the gossip writers began calling me a play-girl. I had 'affairs' with several studio 'bigshots' and they managed to keep me employed — always in minor roles — pretty steadily. "Men are all alike in one respect. They are intrigued by a girl who has a romantic reputation. I've capitalized on that — and I'm not at all ashamed of the way that I've used men to keep afloat in Hollywood. I couldn't do anything else, for after my first year here, I had absolutely no chance to win real success on my own merits as an actress. Once this town forms an opinion, nothing can change it — and I was through as a potential star when my first contract was broken and the gossip writers started making cracks about my affair with Stanley Feldman. "I've used men — and I've given them very little in return for the presents and the jobs they've given to me. I've been able to dress well and live luxuriously. In a way, I've had a grand time. "In another way, I've been miserable. To be really happy, a person has to be accomplishing something. 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