Home Movies (1953)

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lilies in Blnnderland By CARL KOHLER The author indulges in a few oblique suggestions on vacation shooting and makes a strong pitch for "50 Ideas for Vacation Movies" — VACATION Time is raising its carefree head all over the country. In an effort to keep chagrin and cost at a minimum and better home movies at a maximum, I should like to delineate several of the more garish bloopers which the average moviemaker is most likely to experience. Experience, that is, if he or she is the average mortal whose behind-thecamera enthusiasm can best be described as fey antics born of rashness, incaution and thoughtlessness. We all know people like that, now don't we? In the interests of keeping my moviemaking friends (and I mean both of them), plus preventing several thousand libel-suits from being launched at Messrs Ver Halen for allowing me to play fast and loose with names in this prosy plum, I wish to state most emphatically that the characters portrayed in this piece are • — to the best of my knowledge, Editor Henry Provisor's knowledge and Messrs Ver Halen's knowledge — utterly fictitious. All of which, boiled down, means that if there really is an Emily Zunklegoff somewhere in the world — I'm not talking about you, honey. I'm describing a make-believe Zunklegoff. Otherwise, I'd risk having Editor Provisor (a mordant and exacting chap who sleeps with a blue pencil under his pillow demand that I turn in my typewriter ribbon. Or, worse yet, have me drummed out of his office at night noon. But on with our Comedy of Errors. Between bouts with roadmaps (cleverly contrived to never again be neatly folded, once opened) as to just where they are going to spend their hoard of two weeks of fredom, we find Roger and Edna Flubb (and brood) smoothly tooling along a major highway. When the rustling dies away (Roger having flung the map out the car window in a fit of temper, spitting a choice selection of improper adjectives after it) he suddenly notices oodles of good, scenic countryside flowing past — and completely forgets his ire of the moment. "What'cha looking for?" snarls Edna. "You hit my elbow again and you're gonna make some car-insurance people mighty darn unhappy." Ignoring the nag, Roger comes up with the family 8mm and busies himself with shooting the flashing scenery out of the side window. This continues for quite some time ■ — say for about fifty feet. Then, Edna happens to see what her boy is up to. "Roger . . ." "Quiet, I'm getting some wunnerful stuff!" "Pin-brain . . ." "Just try to keep the wheels in your own lane and leave me be, will ya?" Roger steadies the camera as they race a Greyhound bus for the privilege of being first to turn a bend. "Look, bright boy . . ." "Drive, Edna. Don't talk. This is supposed to be my vacation. Don"t talk. Just drive." A smile of snide joy pulls Mrs. Flubb's mouth into a thin white line and she says nothing more. Somehow, you sense she's looking forward to something nice. When the vacation has been vacationed and they are home again, the film comes back from the lab and Roger sets up the projector • See ALLIES on Page 276 269