International photographer (Feb-Dec 1929)

Thirty-two The INTERNATIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER June, 1929 ox *o cos s«-(3lEDEa Answers to Fans Dear Mr. Out of Focus: I have a lovely camera, in a beautiful robins-egg blue finish, and a leather case. I am bothered with scrathes. What shall I do? — Ammie Ture. Try eating a jar of Kellog's Ant Paste and you wont scratch anymore. * * Dear Sir — I see by the Int. Photog. that you are advertising the Fearless Movement as something new. Hasn't Gilda Gray been doing this for some time. — Iris Arms. Dear Iris — Try and put her movement in a B. and H. * * Tough Times A brother of 659 went to Crystal Pier to look for work the other day. That night someone asked him how things were. He said that things were so though that a man tried to drown at the Beach and they wouldn't let him. Did you know that Frank B. Good was Champion Dirt Track Driver at one time. Can he dance soft shoe? Ask Dolores. * * Imagine a girl trying to make Frank B. Good. Saved a dime the other day and got a bill for $10.35 the next day. * * Popular Song As sung by the boys on over time, while on location: "I hate to see the evening sun go down." * * Short Story Once there was an assistant cameraman who told the First Cameraman that he was using too much light. Gaffer — Why do you always show the director your prints. Still Cameraman — Because I do not like to answer in the negative. — (Pat Applied for.) * * Old Mother Goosey Rhymes Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, I wonder how you got so far. With that nose and three time chin I can't see how you got in. But do not worry, I'll keep quiet, Even tho it is a fight, And you'll be safe for all th' time, If you insist on Six Five Nine. Old Mother Oose Gay Hadn't much oose yay For Unions and other such things. But she met an ellow fay That wasn't ello yay And now she wears diamond rings. Bah! Bah! Black Sheep Have you any dough Yes Sir, Yes Sir Three bags or so. But when I get thru making disbursements to the merchants with whom I have become indebted, It seems as if "some days you cant save a dime." There was a man in our town And he was wondrous wise. He passed out applications To all the camera guys. Some said they would sign them And some said they would wait. The moral is told in dollars, It doesn't pay to hesitate. Famous Holil-Ups Jesse James. Trimming. Buckles. Run outs. Follow Shots. Paris Garters. Cloudy Days. Story Conferences. Suspenders. Animals. Temperamental stars. Brassieres. One side out. Wrong costume. * * Number one Stern Brother — Do you know that we used 1200 feet of film on that last 2 reeler. Number two Stern Brother — What! Tell that cameraman not to crank so fast. Maybe we can make the next one with 1100 feet. * * Everybody's Doing It I.A.T.S.E. &. M.P.M.O. &. G.H.A.D. T.U.B.F.C.V.$.%.".@. etc., Local 659. Gentlemen — Pardon me if I have made a mistake. I have just received a letter stating where my husband has been assessed for $1.35. Please be advised that we have a receipted bill for our taxes, have paid the assessment for the widening of Cahuenga, the Elks Convention and numerous storm drains west of the Rockies. Therefore, I am sending you a bill for an assessment for $2.00 for the dinner that was spoiled last night waiting for my "Negative" to get home from the studio. — Mrs. Shore Tends. * * Did you know that Brother Paul Perry had an I. A. Card over 15 years ago. He was Studge, short for student, in other words assistant Electrician at the Auditorium Theatre in Chicago, and he received the Grand total of twenty-two bucks a week. That our Treasurer almost gave up the Automobile business (Whoa! Taxi Lady) to be with Perry as an operator at 13.50 per same week. Also that our recording Secy ran a projecting machine that required 2 hands and had to rewind his film with the other. If Brother "Speed" Hall had a half brother could you call him "Half Speed." Sharpen-Up Punk — Who was that fuzzy blonde I saw you with. Bunk — -Your glasses must not be optically correct. Trying to sell a gag to the Editor. Note. — Our F.ditor is an Editor and has never shot a foot of film. No proof is reqnired because he admits it. Me. Si, here is a good gag for the magazine. Si. Yeah? Me. Yeah. It goes like this. We will head it "Sharpen Up." Si. I know. It has to do with a lead pencil. You should try and get some thing about the cameramen and photography. Me. Well this is all about that. Sharpen up means to get your stuff sharp; in other words, in focus. Si. Yeah? Me. Yeah. Now here it is. One cameraman or asst. or still cameraman (you know, put in some names) says to another member in good standing (refer to the books) — "Who was that fuzzy blonde I saw you with? Si. Why dont you say dizzy. Everyone else does? Me. Well, fuzzy is an idiom used by the craft, meaning out of focus. Si. Are they using idioms now that they are short of assts. Me. Quiet Please. Then the other fellow says: "Your glasses are not optically correct." This means that due to the fact that his glasses have not been fitted properly the party he saw seemed to be out of focus. Dont you think that should print normal? Si. The density of that gag would require an act of the Board of Executives. Me. Yeah? o TO THE TUNE OF WHOOPIE By George K. Hollister, Jr. You move a booth, you move a boom, You sweat to death in a sound-proof room, Another season you'll lose your reason We're makin' "Talkies." Then they holler "quiet," their A. C. isn't there, Then a camera buckles and everyone tears his hair, You work all night, you feel like 'ell, You'll need a crutch, a padded cell, They'll take you off'n a nice white coffin For makin' "Talkies."