The international photographer (Jan-Dec 1934)

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Ten The INTERNATIONAL PHOTOGRAPHER August, 1931 CINEMACARONI (It's better with a little sauce.) By Robert Tobey > So you want to know why this is called CINEMACARONI? Come to think of it, so do 1. Let's sit down and think this thing out. First you frost a 4-ounce glass with ice — pardon me, that's a story we'll work on later in the day. Ennihoo, this blurb is chiefly about motion pictures, which, in some circles, are dispassionately grouped as THE CINEMA. To the initiate, motion picture film is known as SPAGHETTI. So this is called CINEMACARONI, because 1 can't spell SPAGHETTI. 1 can dish it out. but 1 just can't make it. I've never been on a Cook's Tour. I'm warning you now, this bowl of light lunch I'll attempt to serve you will consist of some fact and some fiction. It's your problem to figure out which is which. I'll give you a tip the stuff I make up out of my own head will give off a hollow sound when knocked. (No ad for Ethyl. Hi, Ethyl — let's get Associated.) F'rinstance, there was the ingenious case of the Hollywood gag man and wit who had been out of work for several months — he bought himself a toupe and got a job with the Pacific Electric Railway as a wig-wag. Carry on from there. * * * ADVANCE NOTE Next month this department will commence installments of a new and different publication called — ■ HOW TO TAKE PICTURES IN THREE PARTS Part I. How to Shoot Them. Part II. How to Examine Them. Part 111. How to Tear Them Up. t t * DAILY INCONGRUITY. An office boy walked through one of the studio stages the other day soulfully whistling, "Only God Can Make a Tree." He watched three men working industriously on the stage. Out of planks, wire, nails, and gobs of gummy plaster, these three men were fashioning the twining roots beneath an uncannily lifelike oak already constructed. The boy walked on, but wasn't whistling. * * * I note that Nikola Tesla, famous inventor, has worked out a new death ray, terrific in its power. Banks of these rays, Tesla claims, would act as a protective wall around a country in time of war, destroying anything that came within their range— a fleet of enemy planes, for instance. Motion picture producers should buy up this idea. A ray machine could be installed at the door of every sound stage, to keep out snoopers that interrupt and spoil a thousand-dollar scene. Movie stars could wear small ray machines to chastise souvenir snatchers who sometimes go so far in their zeal of collecting as to tear the clothes from their screen favorites — compulsory nudism, as t'were. The idea has innumerable possibilities. How much would you charge for one of your machines, Mr. Tesla > I'm bothered by bill-collectors. This destructive ray idea reminds me of the old gag about the farmer who was much puzzled by the erection, on the road to town, of an imposing-looking, barred structure. After some weeks of speculation, the farmer was fortunate enough, on passing the building one day, to find a man on the front steps, out for a smoke. The farmer stopped to inquire what was going on inside. The man on the steps proffered the information that he, with a group of fellow scientists, was searching for a universal solvent. "Dew tell," said the farmer. "And what might thet be?" "A universal solvent," explained the scientist a bit pompously, "is something that will dissolve everything with which it comes in contact." "Ye don't say," exclaimed the farmer in an awed tone. "And what be ye a-goin' to keep it in?" * * * Not that I'm drawing any parallels. * * * If you are one of those that think John Gilbert is washed up, you should have walked down a certain studio corridor the other day at an opportune moment. Two beautiful, but blase blonde extra girls were supporting one of the corridor walls when Gilbert passed by. Both gals did a double take as they saw him and one raised a hand to her heart and made motions indicating a suddenly excited condition of that vital organ. When the hearts of satiated extras go pit-pat, think of the little unsophisticated hearts in Oshkosh. * * * I had to get an insert of a large raw ham, its Sunday go-to-meetin' clothes — all wrapped up in paper and ribbon. When I told the property department what I wanted, they wouldn't order it for me — said that according to the new NRA rules I had to get it through the casting office. * * * The wardrobe department sent over a fitter. * * * And the make-up department wanted to work on it. * * * 1 think I've been victimized. * * * "Boy, oh boy, this new director on the lot certainly is pneumatic!" "I suppose you mean he tires easily." "Naw. He blows up under pressure." * * * One of our very best trick men — pardon you, I don't mean Hollywood boys — was photographing a miniature for a certain picture. The director didn't seem to know just what he wanted and was experimenting. First he wanted our friend to make the shot at four times normal speed. Then he wanted a shot at eight times normal and then one at twelve times normal. Finally when he asked for one at twenty times normal, our cinematographer broke loose and said: "Say, if 1 speed this camera up any more I'll have to put wind-wings on the aperture plate to keep the pictures from blowing off the film!" * * * A movie company had been in Africa for several months making a talkie. The director was walking alone through the woods one day and saw two natives seated at the foot of a palm tree, jabbering ex citedly at each other and pointing to the top of the tree. The director, upon gazing thereat, was surprised to see two chimpanzees apparently in heated argument. They were jumping up and down on the branches of the tree, screaming and cuffing each other and now and then kicking each other in the shins. The two natives by this time had recognized our director and one of them poked him in the ribs and asked in a jargon that I cannot imitate: "Mista Directa, whicha one is a cameraman and whicha one da sound man?" * * * NOTES COLLECTED (In this depression, too!) ON LOCATION WITH THE MILESTONE COMPANY, FILMING "THE CAPTAIN HATES THE SEA" . . . Victor McLaglen wandering around the deck of the "Ruth Alexander," practically iridescent in a bathrobe of blue with orange piping, and a rough cap with tremendous green-and-white checks . . . Milestone shoots all his pictures in continuity, as he claims he gets more realistic work out of his actors that way . . . the weather was terrible for the first six days the company was on the boat, and the boat was costing about $25,000 for that length of time. Lucky for the weather man, he's the only guy that can't be sued under the California laws . . . they had a water taxi out hunting for sun spots, and as soon as one was sighted, the big ship headed for it. Goofy pastimes . . . Whitey Schafer, the still man, persuading Florence Rice to get up and sit in a big air vent fifteen feet high, for a picture. And she did . . . Allison Skipworth so bored she was fit to be tied. Had been on the boat seven days and they hadn't shot a scene of her. She had nothing left to do but mend her clothes. She'd stayed so much longer than schedule that her wardrobe was running out . . . most of the extras were whipped down to the point of playing cards . . . Wynne Gibson was so bored she nearly wore her hair out having it dressed and redressed . . . Fred Keating detests the sea anyhow, so imagine HIS predicament . . . John Gilbert was also under the weather . . . Walter Catlett and Leon Errol weren't looking so rosy . . , Walter Connolly was the only one who went around with a smile on his face. And he plays the part of the Captain who is supposed to Hate the Sea! Such is life . . . murders are in the offing. The publicity department has sent out requests for substitute titles for "The Captain Hates the Sea.''' I'm giving fair warning once more — I'll shoot to kill at anyone who tampers with that grand title . . . Vera Steadman, who used to be a star, playing an extra part in this one . . . "Tomorrow? Why, Tomorrow I may be myself with Yesterday's Sev'n Thousands Years!" . . . Omar Khayyam said it, and he must have envisioned the picture business ... or as Variety puts it, the pic biz . . . Arthur Edeson, chief cinematographer, who is called "Little Napoleon" by the crew because of his small stature and dignified mien, nearly met his Waterloo on this picture. Every way he turned almost insurmountable technical problems met him with baleful glance. Try photographing below deck on a steamer sometime. You won't gain any weight. . . . KING CHARNEY GOES UP Announcement was made at Binghamton, New York, June 29, by R. H. Woodford, Vice-President of the Agfa Ansco Corporation, of the appointment of C. King Charney as distributor of Agfa 35 mm. negative and positive film for the United States. Mr. Charney has long been identified with the film industry. His widespread experience in the field of motion pictures ably qualifies him to undertake this important assignment. Agfa products are made in. Binghamton in the most Please mention The International Photographer when corresponding with advertisers modern film-manufacturing unit in the world, representing the accumulated experience of the industry. It is under the direction of a highly trained staff of technical experts, and was designed and built in such a manner as to provide complete control over every factor which may affect the quality or character of the product. The Agfa Ansco factories comprise 51 distinct buildings, occupying 36 acres of land with ample equipment to produce volume requirements. Mr. Charney will maintain offices and warehouses in Hollywood and New York.