It took nine tailors (1948)

48 IT TOOK NINE TAILORS a character called Juliani in the picture who was supposed to be a great concert violinist. In casting the part somebody had hired a musician instead of an actor. He could play a fiddle all right, but as an actor he was strictly a piece of Limburger. On top of that he had a hard time understanding English. Thompson wasted half the morning trying to shoot a scene. There must have been seventy-five extras on the set getting ten dollars each, and in those days that was a terrific overhead. Finally, in desperation, Thompson yelled, "Is there an actor in this joint who can play a fiddle?" I shot out of that crowd so fast that I skidded four feet past Thompson before I could stop. "Can you play a fiddle, Frenchy?" he demanded. "No," I answered, "but I can play a piano/' He gave me a resigned look. "Okay. Sit down and play." Adjusting the stool to just the right height, I flipped back the tails of my dress coat and sat down. Then I warmed up my hands, played an arpeggio or two, segued into The Merry Widow Waltz and then Rustle of Spring. "That's enough," decreed Thompson. "We'll change the part to a concert pianist." We rehearsed the scene once and then shot it. I was shaking in my boots. But when we finished, Thompson shouted, "That's great!" Then he came over and shook my hand. What a wonderful feeling! But as we continued shooting, I began to do some thinking. Nobody had said anything about paying me more salary. I thought to myself, "It's very nice to play an important part and have your name on the screen, but don't be a sucker, Menjou. You've got to have more dough. Glory is all very well in its place, but in this business money is what counts. Remember what your father always says about a ham sandwich: 'Slice the ham thin, call it jambon entre pain, then raise the price.' " When we finished shooting for the day, the extras began lining up to get paid off for their day's work. I was tempted to get in