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62 IT TOOK NINE TAILORS
and hire the real thing. One morning he drove down to the Bowery with a big bus and four policemen. They went into a flophouse, rounded up every man in the place, and ordered them all into the bus. At first these Bowery characters thought they were being pinched and they set up a terrible yammer protesting their innocence. But when they learned that they were to get five dollars for acting in a movie, they went along peaceably.
The whole crowd was ferried across the river and delivered to Fort Lee, where a duplicate of the Bowery flophouse had been built. But about that time most of them began to develop severe cases of the shakes. Director Dwan, realizing that they needed a nerve tonic, sent his assistant for a couple of quarts of whisky. The man came back with bottled-in-bond bourbon. But the Bowery boys viewed the whisky with critical eyes. There was no balm in liquor like that; what they wanted was something with a belt to it. So the good stuff was sent back and exchanged for Old Pickhandle— a headache with every slug.
After that the Bowery actors were ready to perform. Then a more serious problem arose. The scene Dwan was to shoot called for Doug to come bouncing into this flophouse, wake up the inmates, and give them an inspirational speech full of merry quips and cute sayings. But the derelicts from the Bowery were not easily amused. Laughter was something to which they were not accustomed. No matter how much of a pep talk Dwan gave them or how hard Doug worked, they couldn't seem to give out with any hearty laughter.
Finally, in desperation, Doug told them a new off-color joke. For the first time the bums were amused. They gave out with hearty guffaws.
"Keep going,'' Dwan directed, and he signaled Vic Flemming, the cameraman, to start grinding.
Doug kept making the jokes bluer and bluer. The flophouse gang bellowed louder and louder. Between shots the other actors and the crew racked their brains for more off-color gags. Then, with the camera set for a new shot, Doug continued his suppos