It took nine tailors (1948)

9: The Case of the Waltzing Mice l^r WAS playing "another villainous role" in The Moth, starring pi Norma Talmadge and Eugene O'Brien, when the United I^L States declared war on Germany. Before the picture was finished I heard that Cornell University was forming an ambulance unit that would leave for France within a month. According to all the dope the ambulance boys were to get there even ahead of the marines. That was for me. I enlisted, packed my dress suit, my cutaway, my spats, my stick, my cloth-top shoes, and four fancy waistcoats in moth balls and entrained for Camp Crane, Allentown, Pennsylvania. Thirteen months later I was still there. What liars those recruiting officers were! Camp Crane was the center of army confusion. For weeks we had no uniforms, no ambulances, no discipline. Each one of us had one suit, one pair of shoes, and no change of imderwear. We got squads-right and squads-left but we didn't feel the least bit like soldiers. After three weeks of drilling I had to put cardboard in my shoes to keep from walking on the ground. One month after our arrival at Camp Crane each of us was finally issued one shirt (flannel), one pair of breeches (olive drab ) , one pair of leggings ( lace ) , and one pair of shoes ( large ) . I put on this outfit, took one look at myself, and almost deserted. But I didn't wear my GI clothes very long. Somebody discovered that I had been to Culver for a year, which was more military training than anybody else in camp had had except the commanding officer, so they made me a lieutenant. That was fine, but I still wanted to get overseas. Instead they put me to work directing a camp show called Goodbye Bill. I was 67