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10: The Faith Healer
[DIDN'T go to Hollywood alone; I took with me a brand new wife. When a man starts to explain how he happened to get married, he spiels off some very amazing talk. The reasons he gives are fantastic. But the real reason is usually the same— it was spring, he happened to have two dollars for a license, and there was a beautiful girl daring him to even hint at the idea.
Having saved some of my salary while I was in the Army, I had a little more than two dollars at the time I was married. I had, in fact, about $1,000, a fair wardrobe, and two tickets to Los Angeles. My wife and I had decided to be practical and spend our honeymoon in California. While there, I would try to break into pictures in Hollywood.
On our way to the coast we stopped to visit my wife's relatives. Mistake number one. Her home was in the bluegrass country of Kentucky. Her father owned the general store in a town of 1,500 population. That was a metropolis! Everybody thought that when we spoke of the big city we were referring to Lexington. They were steeped in the traditions and lore of thoroughbred horses and good whisky. That's all they talked about— horses and the merits of whisky as an aid to good health. And when they said "whisky," they meant bourbon. The first night we arrived somebody suggested that we have a drink.
"Fine" I said. "Make mine Scotch and soda."
"What is Scotch?" I was asked.
I explained that it was whisky that was made in Scotland.
That did it— they knew at once that I was a Philistine. It seems that in Kentucky nothing is recognized as being whisky that is not labeled "bourbon."
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