It took nine tailors (1948)

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98 IT TOOK NINE TAILORS So naturally I had to have a big car. I bought a secondhand Cadillac that had become too small for some Metro executive, but it was still big enough for me. It had a special body, of course, and many fancy gadgets. The main feature of the car was the burglar alarm under the front seat. One day I parked my car on Hollywood Boulevard, and when I came back I forgot all about the burglar alarm. I climbed in and the alarm went off. It made a racket that could easily have turned a man's hair white. I almost jumped through the windshield. Then I got so excited that I couldn't find the key that stopped the alarm bell. By the time I got the thing switched off, a huge crowd had collected and cops were converging on me from every direction. But that was not the only thing that was wrong with the car. It took a fortune to run it. Every cough of the engine consumed a gallon of gasoline, and once a week I would have to take it to a garage for an overhaul job. I must have paid the overhead for the Cadillac service shop in Hollywood. Whenever I drove in, the boss would declare a half holiday for himself and go out to play golf. That car was a minor catastrophe. I finally turned it in on a new car of slightly more democratic proportions.