It took nine tailors (1948)

138 IT TOOK NINE TAILORS on the front lawn. But before we could move the dining-room furniture the firemen showed up. Of course they could not go around to the back door in order to get to the basement; that would have been a violation of the firemen's code of ethics; they ran in the front door and went through the dining room. Finally, when the fire had been extinguished, I took a look at my beautiful dining-room rug and to my horror it was ruined. The firemen had spilled chemicals on it and had torn another large hole in it. I was very upset. Of all the rugs in the house this one was the finest, and they had damaged it beyond repair. My one consolation was that I had plenty of insurance. When the insurance adjuster arrived, I led him to the dining room and showed him my rug. I practically wept over it. "How much did you pay for it?" he asked, kicking nonchalantly at one of the torn fragments. "Fifteen hundred dollars, but it's worth a great deal more." He gave me a sad look and shook his head. "If you paid more than two hundred and fifty, you were robbed." I stared at him and my blood ran cold. To be cheated out of over $1,000 is very abhorrent to a man with French blood, but to be cheated by an Armenian was more than my pride could stand. I lay awake that night trying to think how I could get back at that Armenian swindler. And finally I conceived a plan. Next morning I called up this burglar and told him of my great misfortune— how the Ispahan had been damaged by the firemen. "Have you got another one like it?" I asked. "Oh, no," he replied. "There ees not another rug like her in America." "What a pity," I said sadly. "Yes, yes, what a pity," he moaned. "It breaks my heart to theenk of that magneeficent rug being damaged." Finally I suggested that he send out half a dozen of his very finest rugs for me to choose from. I wanted to buy a new rug for the dining room and none but the best would do. That after