Modern Screen (Dec 1949 - Nov 1950)

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My emergency fuel took a long time lighting, but finally a flame flickered over the surface of it and I put on the chafing dish. Then I broke the eggs and started stirring them. We talked and I stirred. I stirred and we talked. Finally my talk went completely mechanical because a horrible suspicion was dawning on me . . . the eggs weren't cooking. "If something doesn't happen soon. . . !" I thought— but nothing happened. The alcohol wasn't a high enough concentrate to keep burning once the dish was over it. Instead of a gracious hostess magically producing a delectable dish, I must have looked like a dope sitting there stirring up a greasy, yellow mess! I know I felt like one. WAell, anyway, that will give you an idea of the sort of person Mother had to contend with in me. But not a complete idea. Mother is the sort who can go through a room and almost in the passing leave things straightened up so everything looks attractive. I was the kind of child who could wreck a room in the same length of time. But Mother persevered with me. Sometimes she had to be a bit drastic. When I failed repeatedly to keep my own room in order, she walked in one day, emptied every drawer in the place onto the floor, and then took the drawers away with her She said I could have them back if I intended to use them as they were meant to be used, as places for things put away neatly. Otherwise the floor was all I needed. To this day I am not too good at keeping my things in order. There is always something I miss. Mother is visiting me now. After all, I am married and mistress of my own home, but just the same, before she was due, I went over my room from top to bottom. When I was through I was certain it would pass the most critical eye, as I knew it would have to pretty soon. Sure enough, shortly after she arrived, Mother wandered upstairs by herself and I knew she would wind up in my room. I sat back on my chair in the living room complimenting myself on my foresight. But in a minute I heard Mother calling me, and I knew I had missed somewhere. There was that tone in her voice that all mothers use when they "discover" something. "If you'll just come upstairs I want to show you something," she said. I went up, running over everything in my mind. I was certain nothing was out of place. Yet when I went into my room there was Mother standing in front of my open wardrobe and pointing to something on the shelf. I looked closer and to my horror saw the long ash of a cigarette which had fortunately burned itself out after I had carelessly forgotten 'it there! '"There are other little faults. I seem to -* spend half my time looking for things and the other half not finding them. If I have some people coming over I either overlook any number of important preparations or else rush around so getting things ready that before my guests come I wish they would go home. And rarely do I, as Mrs. John Hodiak, step out of an evening with Mr. John Hodiak, without his having to say, "Dear ... the seam on your left stocking . . ." Mother and Dad tell me that I did my first acting when I was three years old Somebody had torn all the flowers off in the garden and that somebody they knew must be me. I was brought up and questioned about it. With both of them standing there I gave them separate answers. I told Daddy, "Yes, I tore them off." I told Mother, "No, I didn't tear them off." They said it was a very convincing, if not satisfying, performance. I was permitted to carry on a general "make believe" existence." When Mother would have guests I might greet them at the door as a French maid, serving cookies and tidying up afterwards. Not a word would be said to break me up in the character I was playing, not by Mother nor by her friends, whom she would warn to accept me for what I was pretending to be. Tt was about that time that Mother began to understand that my dislike of the unembroidered truth was somehow mixed up with my love of acting, and she sought : to straighten me out on the difference. When I was Anne I must tell the truth, she said. And when I was portraying someone I could give full rein to my fancies. "If you've broken a plate and you come and tell me so," she explained, "why it's just a broken plate we have to worry about. But if you aren't truthful about it, there's much more than a broken plate to worry about. There's no compromise with honesty— ever!" The next thing I broke was not a plate and it wasn't in our home. It was a China lady jar which contained cookies and stood in the home of my grandmother, whom we had gone to visit. I didn't mean to break it. I held on to the handle so hard, for fear it would break (while I was snitching a cookie) that it cracked off in my hand. There was nobody around, but I went right to my grandmother and told her about it. She told me not to worry because she would mend it with some special glue she had. As I stood watching, she fitted each little fragment back into place and then stuck the handle onto the jar again. "Nobody will even notice it," she whis ( pered. And she was right. When Mother and Dad returned they didn't once look at the China lady, which was something I couldn't understand because I could see nothing else but that in the room. I decided I had better tell them and start up some of the excitement a situation like that deserved! Eventually I learned to treasure the truth. Mother and Dad both saw to it that my wild imagination was directed into dramatic channels — very wise, I think, and invaluable in my later career as an actress. W7 HEN 1 was seyen my curiosity turned VY on myself in a very personal way, and for my answers I went to Mother. She had no intention of stalling off any explanations. She had a book called "Growing Up," and using the illustrations she answered not only my first questions but all the others her replies prompted. I remember a picture of just a dot and the caption on the picture that identified it as the human egg and went on to say, "You were ANSWERS TO QUIZ ON PAGE 90 1. The Dolly Sisters 2. Betty Grable and June Haver 3. The A.E.F. of World War I (An Expeditionary Forces) 4. I'm Always Chasing Rainbows 5. Hungary L