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ceal her weight loss. She kept telling herself it would go away, but instead the pain became more constant, her heartbeat more irregular and her breath came in shorter and shorter gasps.
Until suddenly the fear became a word: cancer. That was what a doctor would tell her.
But she couldn't go to a doctor. She couldn't go to a hospital. She was a Christian Scientist, and she couldn't ignore the basic teachings of her religion. Marty shared her faith. Terry went to Sunday School. She couldn't destroy their faith, not even if it meant facing death alone.
So day after day she lived alone in her own private hell. Well, perhaps not completely alone. . . .
The complete lack of privacy in which stars live was in Doris' case a help. The studio, Marty, her mother, her friends, suddenly surrounded her. They got her to see a doctor. The doctor told her she did need a bit of minor surgery. But she didn't have cancer! It was a harmless tumor, not the dreaded disease that she was so terrified of. Out of her terror she submitted to the surgery, quickly recovered, and felt perfectly fine.
For a few months.
Then the pain returned. The pain and the skipping heart beats and the complete lack of breath.
This second attack chilled Doris with
nerve-shattering fear. In her mind she knew she wasn't really ill — she'd finally been convinced of that — but she had all the symptoms! Again she tried to hide her terror from Marty. She told herself this was her actress' imagination at work. But the pain, the gasping for air, that was real. Real and yet imagination.
So it could only be one thing, Doris started thinking, she had crossed the terrible borderline. She no longer knew what was unreal, what was real. She must be mad, Doris decided. And added to her fear of cancer was the hell of fearing for her very sanity!
This time she was the one who found a doctor. He wasn't a psychiatrist. He was just a very understanding medical man. He said to her, "Get a notebook. Write down everything that comes into your head. Whatever you think of. Then read what you've written — and think about it. And then if your symptoms don't stop, come back and see me. But I think that when you face life honestly, without being afraid of living, then you will be well."
A look into the past
Doris felt very silly that afternoon, buying a kid's notebook — like the ones she had had in school at Cincinnati. Suddenly she found herself thinking of her first screen test, and she wrote about it, there in the notebook, first of all.
She had arrived at Warners' looking like a teenage tomboy, wearing jeans and a shirt and she let Mike Curtiz, the director, and Jack Warner, the studio head, gather the idea that she'd dressed this way to prove they couldn't impress her.
But that hadn't been the truth. Those were the only clothes she had.
She had broken down singing "Sentimental Journey" for them. Her first hit tune, and she should have been able to get through it any time. She let Curtiz. Warner and herself think she was just nervous. But again that hadn't been true. She had broken down because that very morning she had filed for her divorce against George Weidler, whom she adored.
The Doris Day of 1955, writing in her notebook, wondered why the Doris Day testing for Romance On The High Seas couldn't have been honest with herself. She had been honest in court. She hadn't made any accusations against George Weidler. She loved him. All she had said, asking for her freedom, was that George had broken her heart. She hadn't even told the judge that George had asked for the divorce. She had just said, "He left me heartbroken."
The Doris Day of 1955 thought of Marty. When she had married Marty she hadn't wanted to bother with a honeymoon. She was too sensible to bother with silly things like honeymoons.
$100 FOR YOU!
Fill in the form below as soon as you've read all the stories in this issue. Then mail it to us right away because each of the following readers will get $10— the one who sends us the first questionnaire we open; the 1 00th; the 2G0th; the 400th; the 600th; the 800th; the 1000th; the 1500th; the 2000th; the 3000th. Get it? For example, if yours is the 1000th we open, what do you get? Why, $10 of course!
Please check the space to the left of the one phrase which best answers each question:
1. I LIKE PAT BOONE:
□ more than almost a"hy star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I READ: □ all of his story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
2. I LIKE JUNE ALLYS0N:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well Q very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
3. I LIKE DEBBIE REYNOLDS:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
4. I LIKE TONY PERKINS:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I READ: □ all of his story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
5. I LIKE JEANNE CRAIN:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
6. I LIKE PIER ANGELI:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
7. I LIKE PAUL NEWMAN:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot n fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I READ: □ all of his story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
8. I LIKE KIM NOVAK:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
9. I LIKE CLINT WALKER:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I READ: □ all of his story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
17. Which male and female stars do you want to read about? Please indicate your preference at the right by writing your first choice next to (1), your second choice next to (2) and your third choice next to (3).
(1).
(2).
(2).
(3).
(3)_
AGE.
.NAME ADDRESS,
94
CITY STATE
Mail To: READER POLL DEPARTMENT, MODERN SCREEN, Box 125, MURRAY HILL STATION, NEW YORK 16, N. Y.
MODERN SCREEN POLL PRIZE WINNERS FOR JANUARY Betty Hendrickson, Marshfield, Wisconsin; Edward Knoll, Jr., Sandusky, Ohio; Barbara Jacoubian, Arlington, Massachuestts; Florence Horton, Forest Hills, New York; Mrs. Marilyn Rand, Pemberton, New Jersey; Mrs. Beverly D. Miller, Lawrence, Massachusetts; Lyle Krause, Union, Illinois; Gloria Martinez, El Paso, Texas; Bonnie Huffman, Newport, Kentucky; Betty Hornyak, New York City.
10. I LIKE DORIS DAY:
D more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
11. I LIKE ELVIS PRESLEY:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I READ: □ all of his story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
12. I LIKE RUSS TAMBLYN:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well n very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I LIKE VENETIA STEVENSON:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at ill
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: nail of their story Opart □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
13. I LIKE CARROLL BAKER:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know her well enough to say I READ: □ all of her story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completeiy □ completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
14. I LIKE BEN COOPER:
□ more than almost any star □ a lot
□ fairly well □ very little □ not at all
□ don't know him well enough to say I READ: □ all of his story □ part □ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: □ super-completely (~l completely □ fairly well
□ very little □ not at all
15. I READ
□ all of Louella Parsons in Hollywood
□ part □ none
16. I READ
□ all of The Inside Story □ part D none