Modern Screen (Jan-Dec 1960)

fire-red and hardly be able to say hello when I was introduced to Mr. Grant and then go home and day dream about how I'd dress and act and talk when he took me to La Rue's and Chasen's — how young can I get? What Mother said It's no wonder with thoughts like these that I haven't been able to seriously think of a permanent relationship. Mother told me my crushes are harmless — and that they only meant that I wasn't ready to fall in love and was only playing at it with improbable and impossible suitors. She's probably right. But it is time that I begin to get ready. This means no more Grants or Harrisons in my thoughts. And it means I should stop constantly dating young actors whose only thoughts are on publicity dates and themselves. Sure, they are safe. And publicity dates are occasionally necessary. But they will lead absolutely nowhere. I'm not worried about being an old maid — not at eighteen. But unless I start leaving myself open for relationships that can have substance. I may never find the right boy. And as much as I tell people that I'm in no hurry to experience love, that I have no time for it, I secretly look forward to the moment when I'm drawn to someone with all my heart. Sandra began zipping one of her prettiest new dresses. She looked around her lovely bedroom and shuddered. Her luscious nightie was crumpled in a ball on the floor where she had dropped it. One bedroom slipper was by the window, the other half-way under the bed. Her robe was tossed carelessly over a chair, or rather over a dress which she had tossed over a chair. Her beautiful room was a mess. This has got to stop, she told herself. 1 must be neater. My mother isn't my maid to go around picking up after me. But when I finish with anything I just leave it like a two year old. I'm always in such a hurry and so anxious to get on to the next thing — even if the next thing is bed. She started to apply her lipstick, then stopped and for the first time that she could remember began putting everything neatly away. Now if I can only continue doing this, I will have really accomplished something. I will continue doing this, she resolved. There is so much I want to do, she thought. I want to stop being afraid of going to bed unless a light is burning just outside my room. I want to stop staying up until all hours of the night because I think it's so chic. I want to be able to control myself and my moods so I won't think the whole world is beautiful and I love everybody and everything one day and then the next day convince myself that life isn't worth living and that I'd just as soon shoot myself as not. I want to make friends. Oh sure, I know I said that having friends is like having strawberry shortcake. If you don't have it, you don't miss it. But I would enjoy the companionship of a girl my own age; someone to go shopping with and share secrets with — and just know. I want to end this dependency I have on Mother and she has on me. I want to I let her know that I would think it would j be right for her to remarry and have a life of her own. I know she's waiting until I'm twenty-one before she starts thinking of herself — but maybe she shouldn't wait. She's still so young and pretty. She should have her chance for happiness — and not worry about me. Two years ago Ross Hunter told me not to hurry and grow up, that I have a whole lifetime ahead for that. Maybe that was wonderful advice for a girl of sixteen who couldn't wait till she painted her face and perfumed herself to the hilt — or who only wanted to wear black slinky dresses. That's phony hurrying and false growing up. But real growing up is a day-to-day process — and now is the time to start. Sandra heard her mother calling to her from the living room. "Hurry and come outside, Sandy," she called, "and see what's waiting for you today." Sandra knew what was outside. It was her beautiful new silver Imperial sedan. It was also the future. And she went forth to meet it without fear and with a womanly heart. END Sandra stars next in Gidget Goes Hawaiian. Columbia, and Portrait In Black, Universal-International. OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU For rates, write COMBINED CLASSIFIED ^ 529 W. Madison, Chicago 6 m OF INTEREST TO WOMEN CWJune '60 GOOD PAY MAILING advertising literature for reputable terature, listr -* : — ' — able). Natior aelptna 43, Pa. HOME WORKERS: ASSEMBLE HAND LACED precut mocAn^fesan4d6-A!9aal?f^nd|aearnm9S CaMf0ff"a Ha"^rafts, ^ P,RonSlE^ 24c; 7H,0T.S 39c; Men's Suits $4.95; Trousers $1.20. Better used clothing. Free Catalog. Transworld, 164-D Crr, stopfer, Brooklyn 12, Now York. MAKE $25-$50 WEEK, clipping _„-. items for publishers. Some clippings worth $5.00 each. Particulars free. 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She'd said to her friend, very simply, "But I love him I think every woman ought to spoil her husband. I love to spoil Desi." She'd believed that with all her heart Not long afterwards, she and Desi had gone on a camping trip. They slept in a tent. She remembered how frightened she had been in the dark, how she wanted Desi to turn on the little flash lamp. He'd grumbled that he couldn't sleep with a light on. So the tent remained dark, while she shivered with fear like a small child. She'd believed it was up to a wife to change herself into the kind of woman her husband wanted her to be. Lucy had waited a long time to be married. Although she'd always had a strong, independent streak, once she married she leaned to the opposite extreme, her friends felt. She felt it was up to her to make her marriage a success. 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