Modern Screen (Jan-Dec 1960)

Record Details:

Something wrong or inaccurate about this page? Let us Know!

Thanks for helping us continually improve the quality of the Lantern search engine for all of our users! We have millions of scanned pages, so user reports are incredibly helpful for us to identify places where we can improve and update the metadata.

Please describe the issue below, and click "Submit" to send your comments to our team! If you'd prefer, you can also send us an email to mhdl@commarts.wisc.edu with your comments.




We use Optical Character Recognition (OCR) during our scanning and processing workflow to make the content of each page searchable. You can view the automatically generated text below as well as copy and paste individual pieces of text to quote in your own work.

Text recognition is never 100% accurate. Many parts of the scanned page may not be reflected in the OCR text output, including: images, page layout, certain fonts or handwriting.

good.' . . . And do you know what I did?" "What?" asked the nurse. "I felt so good, hearing this," said Lee, "that I began to laugh. I took his hand and I told him about how I'd been feeling up to that point. I'd been on a high and lonely cloud, I told him, and he'd come along and brought me right back down to where I wanted to be ... I told him all this, still holding his hand, as if we were old friends. And while I was holding his hand, there, that first time, I fell in love with him . . . Does that sound silly?" she asked. "No," the nurse said. "We were married a few months later," Lee went on. "We went to Venice on our honeymoon. We stayed there for three months. We said to heck with everything, our jobs— everything. We were there and we were happy and we stayed. We lived in a pensione, one of those small hotels. And it was only the beginning, really. Because after that we grew more and more in love — something I didn't imagine possible; — and we were happier still — " She stopped. And she looked up again, towards the ceiling, thinking of the room upstairs, the big white room with all the doctors, where her husband lay, fighting for his life. For a few minutes, neither she nor the nurse said anything. And then, softly, the nurse spoke up. "Mrs. Colleran . . . may I ask you something personal?" she asked. "Yes," said Lee, vaguely. "Yes, of course, if you want." "I was in the room before," the nurse said, "your husband's room, when you were — " She paused. "When the doctor told you to cry . . . said it would help make you feel better. When you told him that you wouldn't, you couldn't, that you never did, that you mustn't." "That's right," said Lee. "What did you mean?" asked the nurse. Lee sighed. "It's a long story," she said. "You wouldn't be interested. Really, you wouldn't." "I see," said the nurse. "I'm sorry — " she started to say. When, suddenly, Lee said, "My aunt — it was she who told me that I mustn't cry." "Your aunt?" asked the nurse. Lee didn't answer, just sat there, still. "Your aunt?" the nurse asked again. "A long time ago," Lee said, finally. "When I was five. I was only five, you see," she said, "and one day I heard that my mother and father were going to be divorced. Neither of them had wanted to tell me about it. And so they asked her to tell me, my aunt. . . ." "It must have been a very hard moment for you," the nurse said, as Lee sighed again, deeply. "I cried when she told me," Lee said. "I cried . . . It's been a long time since that day. But I remember the tears running from my eyes — I remember that. They ran down my cheeks and some of them ran into my mouth and I remember they burned the insides of my mouth and they began to choke me. "And I remember starting to cough at one point and my aunt slapping my back, hard. "And saying, 'Now you stop that, do you hear? Crying is for fools, for silly people who don't have fiber, strength, character, breeding. Crying is for weak people. Weak people. Not people like us!' "And I remember her slapping my back harder and harder as she said that. And her saying, over and over, 'Now stop. You look ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself!' "Until, finally, I did stop. "And, from that day to this, I've never cried. . . ." "Because," asked the nurse, "you didn't want to appear weak?" "I don't know any more," said Lee, "not exactly." "Don't you know," said the nurse, her voice calm, very calm, "that it's a natural thing to cry . . . that there is often great relief in tears . . . that babies, little babies, are born crying; their very first sound . . . that Jesus wept . . . that everyone must weep sometimes?" "I can't," said Lee. "I'm different maybe, but I can't . . . And now, if you'd talk about something else ... Or else not talk for a while — " "All right," said the nurse. "I'm sorry." The silence that followed was intense. Until finally, some ten minutes later, it was interrupted by the phone. The nurse got up and answered the call. Then she said to Lee, "It was the doctor, calling from the operating room. He'll be down soon. But he wanted you to know now that the operation is over, that it was a success, that your husband is going to be all right." "He is," said Lee, not asking. "Thank God." She got up from the couch, dazedly. At one point, she seemed to falter, and the nurse took her arm. "I'm all right," Lee said. "Is there anything I can get for you? Do for you?" "No," Lee muttered. She looked down for a moment; then back up at the nurse. And then, suddenly, she threw her arms around her and she buried her head in the big woman's shoulder. " — He's not going to die," Lee said. "No," said the nurse. "He's not going to die." And then she smiled as she felt the girl's tears beginning to wet her sleeve. end Lee stars next in 20th-Fox's Wild Rivek. _____ | Fill in the form below (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) as soon as you've read all the stories in this issue. Then mail it to us right away. J "romptness counts. Three $10 winners will be chosen from each of the following areas — on a basis of the date and time on your postmark: Eastern states; Southern states; Midwestern states; Rocky Mountain and Pacific states; Canada. And even if you don't earn $10, you'll I be glad you sent this ballot in— because you're helping us pick the stories you'll really love. MAIL TO: MODERN SCREEN POLL, BOX 2291, GRAND CENTRAL STATION, N. Y. 17. N. Y. phrase which best answers each question: Please circle the box to the left of the one 1. I LIKE SAL MINEO: □ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with him I READ: UJ all of his story UJ part UJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: UJ super-completely UJ completely UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 2. I LIKE DEBBIE REYNOLDS: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with her I READ: (JJ all of her story UJ part UJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: UJ super-completely UJ completely UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 3. I LIKE FRANK SINATRA: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with him I LIKE TOMMY SANDS: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with him I READ: UJ all of their story UJ part UJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: UJ super-completely UJ completely UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 4. I LIKE NATALIE WOOD: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with her I LIKE ROBERT WAGNER: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with him I READ: UJ all of their story UJ part UJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely UJ completely UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 5. I LIKE LEE REMICK: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with her I READ: UJ all of her story UJ part UJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: UJ super-completely UJ completely ' UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 6. I LIKE SANDRA DEE: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot 0 fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all UJ am not very familiar with her 1 READ: UJ all of her story UJ part UJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: UJ super-completely UJ completely UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all