Modern Screen (Jan-Dec 1960)

piness I have been able to achieve and pass on to my children. Even though I must be away from them all day when I'm in a picture, I try to give the children the feeling that I'm with them— at least in spirit— all the time. I am very fortunate in being able to afford capable household help. This is very important to a working mother, and I realize that most working mothers — unless they're highly-paid career women — can't afford it. On the other hand, just because I have such fine help does not mean that I will let them take over the mothering of my children. They can feed them, put them to sleep, bathe them when I'm not home. But there are things only a mother should do — like taking them to school on the first day of school and making the preparations for her children's birthday parties. Sure, I could turn this over to my cook and the nurse, and they would see to it that my children would have a beautiful birthday party. But that wouldn't mean much to Kelly, nor to Jamie, when she's old enough to understand. Kelly and I have planned all her birthday parties together; such whispering and giggling and secret conferences that go on between us at those times! Once it looked as if I wouldn't be able to share in the preparation of a birthday party with Kelly. Just before her third birthday I was told a tour had been arranged for Tony and me to publicize The Vikings. We were to be away several weeks. We agreed to the tour, but first I asked one thing — that I could be home the day of Kelly's birthday. "It won't be a real birthday party for her," I said, "unless Tony and I are with her." The studio agreed. Before we left, I made all the plans for the party, with Kelly. We went to the five and ten together and bought balloons and favors. She helped me select the in vitations, we decided together what kind of sandwiches we'd serve and we picked out the birthday cake together. I wrote all the invitations before we left, and I ordered everything for the party. I left word that the invitations were to be mailed out on a certain date. With everything bought in advance, I left. We returned early on the Saturday morning of her party. And I took up where I'd left off. My daughter was the happiest birthday girl you've ever seen. Kelly is just four now and goes to nursery school from 9:00 to 12:00. At first, Tony wasn't sure that Kelly should go. I thought she should — not because I wanted her out of the way, but because she's a bright and active child, and I felt she needed the stimulation of playing with other children. The first week, I took her there myself every morning. You can't just send a little girl off to a new, strange nursery school without being with her. The first day I picked her up to drive her home, her eyes were dancing! She sang the words of a song they'd taught her; she spoke about a little girl with whom she'd played. I knew then that she was going to enjoy nursery school. The other mothers and I share a car pool. One of them is Anne Douglas, Kirk's wife. If I wished, I could have one of the help in the house do the driving when it's my turn to take them to school. But I wouldn't miss my turn in the car pool for anything. I think it's important for Kelly to know that her mother is right there to do what the other mommies — the non-working mommies do. We pile in the car and I drive down the hill and pick up little Peter Douglas and little Scott Shepherd. I leave at eight in the morning. No, I'm not tired. When you're a mother doing what you want to do for your child, you're usually exhilarated, not weary. The conversations that go on in the back seat of my car among Kelly, Peter and Scott are absolutely delicious. I wouldn't miss them for the world. This is one of the simple, inexplicable joys of motherhood — driving my child to school. And having her mother take her to school is one of the great joys for a child. You asked, Rosemary, if I am ever resentful about the time I spend away from the children. No, I never have been. And I'm quite sure they're not resentful either. When I'm working, the hours are long. I leave at 6:00 a.m. and I don't get home till 6:30 p.m. Consequently, I don't see my children in the morning, except to tiptoe into their rooms and look at them. When I get home, Jamie, who's still a baby, is asleep. But Kelly is up. I play with Kelly and we talk. I listen to everything she has to say, and I put her to bed myself. When I'm working all day, no one can tuck Kelly in but myself. She needs the assurance that I love her so much that I want to show even this little touch of tenderness. And after a long day at work, I myself need the talking and laughter with my child, and the warm satisfaction of putting her to bed. One thing I think is very important: many mothers who work feel a little guilty because their work keeps them away from their children all day. And feeling guilty causes them to make a certain mistake. When a working mother comes home, she will often be loaded with toys and gifts for her child, as though to compensate for having been away all day. Also, she is inclined to be over-indulgent. She doesn't want to punish her little darling for misbehaving because she feels her child has been punished enough by not having the mother around during the day. I don't feel that way at all. When I'm home after work, if my little girl misbehaves, I discipline her, just as as I would if I'd been home all day. I think spoiling 150 FOR YOU! Fill in the form below (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) as soon as you've read all the stories in this issue. Then mail it to us right away. Promptness counts. Three $10 winners will be chosen from each of the following areas — on a basis of the date and time on your postmark: Eastern states; Southern states; Midwestern states; Roclcy Mountain and Pacific states; Canada. And even if you don't earn $10, you'll be glad you sent this ballot in— because you're helping us pick the stories you'll really love. MAIL TO: MODERN SCREEN POLL, BOX 2291, GRAND CENTRAL STATION, N. Y. 17, N. Y. Please circle the box to the left of the one phrase which best answers each question: 1. I LIKE MARILYN MONROE: 3. I LIKE JANET LEIGH: 0 more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her 1 READ: [I] all of her story 0 part [|] none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely pO completely 0 fairly well 0 very little 00 not at all 2. I LIKE HOPE LANGE: UJ more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her I LIKE DON MURRAY: UJ more than almost any star 00 a lot 0 fairly well [TJ very little 00 not at all 00 am not very familiar with him 1 READ: [J] all of their story 00 part 00 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 00 completely 00 fairly well 00 very little 00 not at all [TJ more than almost any star 00 a lot 00 fairly well 00 very little 00 not at all 00 am not very familiar with her 1 READ: 0 all of her story 00 part 00 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: [TJ super-completely 00 completely 00 fairly well 00 very little 00 not at all 4. I LIKE ELIZABETH TAYLOR: 00 more than almost any star 00 a lot 00 fairly well 00 very little 00 not at all 00 am not very familiar with her I LIKE EDDIE FISHER: 00 more than almost any star 0 a lot 00 fairly well 00 very little 00 not at all 00 am not very familiar with him 1 READ: 00 all of their story 00 part 00 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 00 super-completely 00 completely 00 fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 5. I LIKE ROCK HUDSON: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot 00 fairly well 00 very little 00 not at all UJ am not very familiar with him 1 READ: [TJ all of his story 0 part 00 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: UJ super-completely UJ completely UJ fairly well UJ very little UJ not at all 6. I LIKE EVY N0RLUND: UJ more than almost any star UJ a lot UJ fairly well UJ very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her I LIKE JAMES DARREN: 0 more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with him 1 READ: 0 all of their story 0 part 0 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 0 completely 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all J 81