Modern Screen (Jan-Dec 1960)

Some time ago Kim. in a moment of independence, based perhaps on the worship that is given her beauty, told a friend that: "I don't believe I'll ever marry. I love the excitement of falling in love. You can't get that kind of fun with a husband." And, in a moment of extreme frankness, Kim is also reported to have admitted that Sammy Davis, Jr., was the "one and only man" who ever really pleased and amused her. Kim denies this memory of Sammy, but other beautiful women have echoed similar sentiments. Her mother warned her One insider declares that Kim's refusal to get married goes back to her childhood. "Kim has always felt that her mother favored her older sister, Arlene. When the girls were in their teens, Arlene was allowed to wear her hair long and arranged in various styles of the day. But Kim says her mother made her wear her hair one way and no other. As a result Kim used to restyle her hair after she left the house and put it back before she returned. Her mother perhaps because she could see what was coming, had always warned Kim to get married early and have children. Kim still doesn't like being told what to do." At another time in her late teens, Kim's stable of boyfriends was so great that the numbers alarmed her grandmother. "You must be careful, Kim," she said. "I tell you that for every girl there are just so many boys. You are using them up too fast." After her quota of boys was exhausted, however, Kim, without hesitation, began to work on her allotment of men. In Hollywood she began with theater-chain owner, Mac Krim. Mac proposed often. Kim said "No," just as frequently. After that romance died came Count Mario Bandini; Frank Sinatra, John Ireland, Sammy Davis, Jr., Jorge Guinle, Gen. Rafael Trujillo, Jr. and director Richard Quine. There were lesser loves, but these are the ones Kim seems to remember. Despite the fantastic number of handsome men with whom Kim has had romances, even those who know her best insist that she has never been in love. And though it is not generally known, Kim does a beautiful job of concealing the fact that until now her life as a woman has been short-changed. Kim just doesn't know whether she's ever been in love. The confusion, when she is alone, petrifies her. At a party recently Kim was feeling depressed. The public did not yet know that her "almost certain" marriage to Dick Quine had faded miserably. But it was obvious to her friends that she was suffering the tormentful remorse of that "end-ofa-romance" hangover. Someone brought up the subject of love. Definitions of the grand passion were offered. Finally, with an air of expectation, one of the men stared straight at Kim and said, "Let's hear what the Golden Girl has to say about love." Kim's lips puckered at the corners in a faint smile. She shook her head slowly. "Don't ask me," she said. "I don't know what love is. I like to think that it is happiness without end. It hasn't happened to me. I haven't seen it happen to anyone else. God knows I thought I was in love with Mac. Maybe I was. But neither of us know where it went. We'd be ecstatic in each other's company. Then from out of nowhere we'd be arguing and I'd slide right down the chute to misery street. So would he. Did we leave love or did it leave us? "Sometimes I think love is all physical. Maybe it's just two people simply satisfy Send for *lg Assortment of 21 CHRISTMAS CARDS 1 PAYS YOU fry PROFIT ON EVERY BOX Let us send you, FREE, our Exclusive, new IMPERIAL GREETINGS Christmas Assortment ... a fast-selling value at Sl-25 for 21 distinctive, quality cards. Just show it to friends, let them order from you. Your profit is fully 65c of the $1.25 in any quantity. On 100 you make $65. You Don't Need Any Experience Handy Carry Kit makes extra money for you auto itically. 400 selections in Greeting Cards. 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No investment, canvassing or experience necessary. Fashion Frocks, Dept. E-30541, Cincinnati 2, O. Un. 5-W FL tarl shq sal C cle* horn ing each other's needs, for warmth, comfort. "It sounds crazy, but I think you must learn to love first and then avoid, at all possible costs, any attempts to define it. "Do you all remember that advertising slogan, 'It's fun to be fooled but it's more fun to know?' It isn't. "But as long as you realize deep down inside what you're doing, it's all right. "It's a game. You're fooling yourself, but you aren't. You know? "How many women have asked themselves, 'Are you really in love with this man?' How much can you give him until you haven't any more to give? What's more important — your loving him or his loving you? Those questions never get answered until it's too late. "That's why I have the jitters about marriage. I keep thinking I need more time, more wisdom, maybe even more experience, before I can decide on the man I want for the rest of my life. Maybe I just don't have the courage." But there are other reasons. The consequences of a mistake Because of the romances she has had with men and the headlined notoriety attending them, the public overlooks one fact in Kim's life that is much more powerful and emphatic than is suspected. Kim is a church-going Catholic. Once she has taken a husband, divorce is almost out of the question. Not that she could not obtain one. But her childhood faith in God and the precepts of her religion are now deep and abiding spiritual convictions. She dreads the irrevocable consequences of making a mistake. "But, Kim," one of the men insisted, "it's hard to believe that you really want a husband. Wouldn't it be more accurate to say that you are more interested in boyfriends?" "That," said Kim, with a testy timbre, "is ridiculous. You don't know how much I want to get married. I want children, I want a home. But how the devil can you have any of that when you are not in love. You know as well as I do that it is a simple matter for a woman to develop a liking for a man. But I'm not so sure it's so simple to love him." One friend claims the real problem is one Kim refuses to admit. "I'll tell you what the big gap in Kim's life is," said the acquaintance. "It is this. Kim has never learned anything from other women. All she knows about love and life has come from the men in her past. She is not really close to any female friend that I know of. So she must rely on her beauty, her natural attraction for men, which, when you stop to think of it is not of her making. She was born with the chemicals. And up to a point that can be very successful. But sooner or later Kim will have to admit that although she knows a great deal about men she knows nothing about women except what she knows about herself. And that just might not be enough." Not long after hearing this unusual observation I asked Kim if it was true. Had she really isolated herself from the comfort and consolation of other women? She toyed with the question for a moment. Then with a graceful shrug, she said: "I've never thought about it very much. Now that I think of it, it may have started back in school. I did avoid other girls. I can remember being asked to parties, to club meetings, to sororities. I always refused. I just assumed they were looking for a new character. "I was gawky and round-shouldered and too tall for a girl. And I knew that the girl groups all had characters. You know, a tall one, a fat one. They are always the butt of the jokes, the oddballs. They're different. I think their presence gives other girls a feeling of superiority. "I'm sure that's why I stayed to myself. Yes, I was alone and loneliness to me was torment, an inside anguish that found no outlet. It grows and after a while becomes 71