Modern Screen (Jan-Dec 1960)

on Jo, sitting alone at a table with people she barely knew. All I know is that I was depressed. And that I got up and went into the living room and put on some records. A little while later, Jo-Ann came over to me. She put her hand on the top of my head. "Good-bye, Bobby," she said. "Where you going?" I asked her. "Home," she said. "I've apologized to our hosts." "How you going home?" I asked. "I phoned a cab," she said. "Why you going home?" I asked, starting to get a little miffed about it, mad. "Because," Jo-Ann said, not mad-sounding, not un-mad; I guess "resigned" is the only word — "because," she said, "I don't want to be hurt anymore, Bobby. And because I don't want to tie you down to a girl who's always going to be hurt, even for the few hours she's together with you. "Don't you see?" she said then. "Don't you see what I mean, Bobby?" I said, "No. I'm tired and my eyes are blurred. I don't see anything." And I turned away. And as I did I tried to say to myself, "Who cares if you come or go, Miss Campbell? Who needs you?" But even though I was saying the words to myself, they seemed to get stuck in my throat. I didn't know what to do about Jo. So I did nothing, and just let her go. . . . Mack the Knife came to me shortly after this. And the world came to me, too now, in dollars and in applause, in gold records and so many booking offers I had to turn half of them down, in screen tests and interviews and picture-taking sessions with high-class photographers and in autographs and screaming kids — the works. It was great, and I put my arms around it like a lover who'd taken a girl named Career as his mistress, holding hard, never letting go. Because it happened so fast, it gave me little time to think. And this, I thought, was good for me. I was constantly surrounded by people now. I was never alone. There wasn't a face that wouldn't show for me at the snap of a finger, to talk it up with me, to keep things hopping, to tell me, remind me, how fine I was, how great I was doing, how I had the world on a string, how I had everything. And then one night, in California, between shows at a club there, I was sitting alone in my dressing room. As it happened, I was feeling particularly alone that night. I could have called for somebody, But I didn't know just who I really wanted to see. I sat facing the door. "If anyone could walk through that door right now," I thought, "who would you want to see, more than anyone else?" The picture of her came to me in a flash. The golden hair. The big blue eyes. The little girl look. Everything about her that I thought I'd forgotten by now, but hadn't. I began to have this conversation with myself. "Call her? See her? But she's in New York," Part A of me said to Part B. "So what, you schnook," said Part B, " — you call her and maybe she comes here tomorrow." "Comes? She probably won't even talk to me." "How you gonna know, unless you try?" "Just like that?" "Just like that." "And what do I say?" "You tell her the facts. That you've been a dope, a schnook, and that you miss her and you love her." "Love her? Me in love?" Bobby guest-stars in Columbia's Pep: 8. I LIKE VIVIEN LEIGH: CO more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her I LIKE LAURENCE OLIVIER: 0 more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with him 1 READ: 0 all of their story 0 part 0 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 0 completely 0 fairly welJ 0 very little 0 not at all 9. I LIKE ANNETTE FUNICEUO: |T| more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her 1 READ: 0 all of her story 0 part 0 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 0 completely 0 fairly well 0 very little rj not at all 10. I LIKE ELIZABETH TAYLOR: [TJ more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all [7] am not very familiar with her I LIKE EDDIE FISHER: [JJ more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well [TJ very little [TJ not at all 0 am not very familiar with him 1 READ: 0 all of their story [JJ part [JJ none IT HELD MY INTEREST: [JJ super-completely [JJ completely UJ fairly well 0 very little [JJ not at all 11. I LIKE BOBBY DARIN: [JJ more than almost any star [JJ a lot [JJ fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with him I READ: 0 all of his story 0 part 0 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 0 completely 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 12. I LIKE AVA GARDNER: 0 more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her 1 READ: 0 all of her story 0 part 0 none IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 0 completely 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 13. I LIKE DEBBIE REYNOLDS: 0 more than almost any star 0 a lot 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 0 am not very familiar with her 1 READ: 0 all of her story 0 part 0 none 1 IT HELD MY INTEREST: 0 super-completely 0 completely 0 fairly well 0 very little 0 not at all 14. The stars I most want to read about are: (i) (1) . (2) . AGE NAME ADDRESS STREET CITY ZONE STATE