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You^d Never Know Aunt Effie Now]
I DON'T mind telling you that it was pretty tough on Dick and me for c while. Dick's my husband, you know. And except for one thing about him I'd have been perfectly happy.
That was that he was one of these men with a sense of duty. Strong, you know. But not silent. What he thought he spoke.
So when he felt sorry for Aunt Effie, he said so.
"She's all alone in the world, with nothing on her mind but her hair." he said. I was prompted to make the point that that wasn't hers, but I let it go.
"We ought to go and see her at least once every two weeks. I know it's tiresome. But it cheers her up so."
Maybe it did — if you could live through it. Boring wasn't the word. Aunt Effie was the human weevil. Her idea of excitement was to show yoi] how much better the fruit in the bowl on the sideboard looked after she'd renewed its schoolgirl complexion with water colors. If nature abhors a vacuum, it would have shuddered at her mind.
After two years of this I broke down. "Dick," I said, "I can't go on. Something must be done. I can't listen again to the story about what Aunt Effie's boy friend said to her twenty years ago."
But Dick was firm. Succinct, but firm. "We must," he said.
I was desperate. Then, as happens once in a lifetime, came an idea. I spoke of it to Dick. "What that old girl needs," I said, "is a good dose of Classic."
So, at the next ordeal, I left a copy with her. When we called two weeks later, she was out. And again two weeks after that. We had finally to pin her down to a date.
"I won't be home tonight," she said, "but I'^f you like, we can all go to see Passionate Petting. They say it's a hot number." We went and it was.
"I knew this was no flop," said Ef — I got to calling her that before the evening was over — "because Classic gave it a good send-of!. And Classic said, too "
We see Ef frequently now. We discuss the love-life of Chester Conklin, Jackie Coogan's latest divorce and Dolores De Rio's most recent speech before the Epworth League.
You wouldn't know the old girl now. You wouldn't know she was old. In fact, at heart, she isn't. Just the other day she was saying : "This dress, of course, would be a bit youthful for Sally Blane, but I think on me "
And it's all due to Classic.
I pass on this little slice of life to you. Have you any bad relations you want made good? Are any of your friends tired of life? Or are you?
To them or to yourself, administer Classic every month. The prescription is one copy every thirty days, before or after or during meals.
Motion Picture
CLASSIC
It's
The Magazine
With The
Personality
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