Motion Picture Classic (Jul-Dec 1928)

By Gladys Hall Drawings by ELDON KELLEY OH, ho, ho, ho, ho! Oh, ha, ha, ha Im! Come into the Big Tent, ladees and gennelmun ! Come into the Big Top of Hollywood and see the Strange Peepul ! The Lady wot twists her sweeties about her neck! The man with the Tattoed Skin, each adwenture of his life embossed on his own fair skin! Come in and see the Million Dollar producer of Mother Love stories as can't sign his own name to your check ! Come in and see the little baby as gennulmen approves of as can read Nietsche and has heard of a brain or wot have you ! Come on, come on, don't •stand back. Stranger sights to see than ever met the eye. Come in and see the guy wot thinks he's God an acts according. Come in and witness a Unknown Author tryin' to sell a story to a producer. See 'im writhe and twist. See 'im beat 'is brains out afore your very eyes. Watch 'im throw inkwells and holler and shriek. 'Ear 'im cry : "It's the story of a 'uman 'eart, sir, it's the story of a 'uman 'eart!" Look closely and see wot 'appens ! See wot 'appens to the contortionist. A contract for fifty grand a week then and there ! Oh, c'm on in and see the Strangest Peepul in all the world, recruited from eve-ry walk of life, ladies and gents, from the wilds of Timbuctoo, from dim conventual walls, from wayside garages and lonely farms and the enviruns of Park Avenoo. C'm on in. On'y ten cents admisshion, on'y ten cents. Right This Way, No Delay. unny and wot have you. You don't have to follow the tonj mags as dissects the Strange Peepul. You don't have tc deegest lectures by the Visiting Writers, by evangelists by gents of the pulpit purple, by cynicks an' excetera. Ten cents and Hollywood will show its funny face, it; clown face, its motley under which beats, ladees am gents, a breakin' 'eart. Hollywood 'as its funny side, that's the answer. Don' take it too seriously. Hollywood is a baby, ladees, a should be taken to every mother heart and cuddled. It' the Greatest Show oh Earth, not barrin' Barnum; and ii it 'appen the funniest, the most side-splittin' things in al the world. It must be seen to be believed. It's funny that's all. It's nothing to get irate about, nasty about pro fond about. C'm on in and see! See the pallid lady with the diadem in her midnigh hair. See the string of boy-friends hangin' round he neck like lavalieres. Hear her purse her lips and say t another pallid lady as 'as a boy friend, too: "I can possibly dine with you ; it^s a matter of principle, yo see: Wai Right This Way, No Delay C oMF, into the Big Top of Hollywood! You'll see it for yourselves, folks . . . you c'n take home first hand impressions for the old folks and the little 'uns. You don't have to wear the brain cells out reading the bilge water of the Freudians, the complexes 48 Oh, hee, hee, hee! Come in and see the little "It" huckster. Red 'ai Wiggles an' all. She'll give you sample parcels of S. /i FREE. No obligation on your parts if it don't work ir stantaneous. Hear her tell how she was oncet a scrij clerk and how it has helped her rise because it has give |w her a lit'ry background. Oh, ho, ho ! C'm in and see the big yaphank f ronj. the Open Space You all know what he was oncet. Now he has a blonde, snappy car and some temperament. Cm in and see work. Watch him get jacked up for a Big Scene, for finger pressed into brow. Getting into the psychologic atmosphere.