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If They're Big Enough, Hollywood's Love
By Dorothy Spensley
GOODNESS knows, I'm broad-minded. I've seen "The Captive" and can still look a violet in the face without turning neurotic. Or even blushing. And tolerant. My dear, I simply love to go around and shake hands with the grips and props and electricians, like the best of the stars. After all, I am of the {people. Lowly and all.
And when it comes to understanding, I am just ne plus ultra. Whatever that means.
But there's one thing that I can't fathom. And neither could you. And you. And you. And you. And you.
It's this awful epidemic of cradle-snatching that has struck Hollywood like a plague. It's pernicious. Positively.
As I was telling Aunt Sophronia the other day, "It's pernicious," I said, just like that.
And Aunt Sophronia answered, "Is it?"
She's awfully intelligent. I mean, she thinks in a big way. She used to design tents for circuses.
Aunt Sophronia is the one who said, "My, Hollywood must be a nice clean town. I see by the advertisements that all the girls use soap." And that, in its way, is rather immortal..
Aunt Sophronia is always giving us verbal surprises. Like the other day she came in from her day's work at the foundry, she's designing manhole covers now, just as L'ncle Orlando was about to kill a spider.
"Don't, Orlando!" said Aunt Sophronia. "It might be Lon Chaney."
Laugh? I Thought I'd Die !
"Vou know, original little bon mots like that. We '• laugh every time we think of that one. So you can see that Aunt Sophronia really has what you might call a scintillant wit.
But this acute attack of robbing the cradle.
I had thought of going to the Chamber of Commerce, but their statistics are mostly on oranges and how two can live as cheaply as four. What I wanted to know was who signs the check when a stylish stout takes a sophomore to tea. Or a thrillingly thin thirty goes a 'Varsity dragging with a Hollywood High School junior.
I might have gone to Will Hays's office in the Guaranty Building, but I've been afraid of elevators ever since that one fell at the World's Fair in Chicago, and there I was, planning to take a ride in it the very next day. I mean, isn't Fate the most curious thing?
And then, too, I want to know what's to be done about it. If Claire Windsor keeps going out with "Buddy" Rogers, what are little girls like Mary Brian
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