Motion Picture Classic (Jul-Dec 1928)

If You Want a fob ora Hobby ihaiPays Well WhereYbu conbeYowr OwnBoss ondKepYom OmtHours leom Illustrating SEND for our free catalog "A Road To Bigger Things." Learn how former Federal School graduates now earn big money. See the work and comments of famous artists like Clare Briggs, Norman Rockwell, Fontaine Fox, Neysa McMein and over fifty others. Opportunities in drawing have never been better. The Federal Course includes illustrating, cartooning, lettering, window card illustrating, etc. If you like to draw, train your talent. We inclose a test chart with our catalog. It finds out your ability. Fill out the coupon now. L/of Illustrating Federal School of Illustrating, 10088 Federal School Bldg., Minneapolis, Minn. Name Age. Occupation Address Evil as You and I {Continued from page jy) had gone out somewhere. Dick reminded me of a year ago this past Fourth. We were on a yachting trip together, just the two of us, and we were as blue as herons and more depressed. We were lonely. Nobody cared. We could have had girls if we'd wanted them. We didn't. Not that sort of thing. And Dick said, ' And now look at me, happily married — and loving ill'" I thought, "He'll make a wise crack now. He'll pull some line about the fatuousness of that." But he didn't. Rather, the weary eyes looked wearier than ever. And a little sad. Do bad men have their yearnings, too? Have we been wrong, about them all this while? Simple yearnings for simple things. Bread and a hearthstone and a woman and the patter of baby feet? We dismounted at the Club. Inside, Bill ordered cut fruit and iced tea, and it doesn't matter what / ordered. To anyone but Bill. He didn't have anything on his hip, either. I said, still angling, "I don't see what men get out of cuties, anyway. Brainless. But they marry 'em and then they yowl about their hard luck." That ought to elicit a Decameron, I thought. No such a thing. Bill was profound. Sex Appeal Saddens Him "TT'S nature," he said, sadly. " Nature X tries to trick us and she usually succeeds. Most men want two things in a woman — the mother and the sex appeal. The cuties have the latter. No doubt about that. We fall for 'em and nature continues her funny business. She makes of physical attraction a snare and a dream into which we read all the things we want to think are there. Too late, we find that they are not. "I believe in Lindsey's Companionate Marriage for this reason. It might save incautious youth a lot of heartbreak — and bills. Most attractions are matters of chemicals. They're cases of getting up in the morning and saying, casually, 'Good morning, dear.' The partner of your joys and sorrows will immediately bark back, What do you mean, good morning? Why do you say it in. that tone of voice?' You explain, drearily, that you didn't say it in any tone of voice. She wails, 'You're calling me a liar, then, are you? Boo, hoo, hoo!' And zowie, they're off! " It's the fault of neither one of them. It's the fault of nature who mixed the chemicals and let 'em 3our. It's better to split a marriage like that, children or no children, than bring a kid up in a home where wrangling is the order of the day. Itl That's what I've done in my own case. I'l'l have my boy with me, part time, when hi is six years old. I believe a very young chilf.f belongs with the mother. 1 " It takes maturity of viewpoint and th«j cooling down of the old blood before a mari can know the woman who is right for him/ For all time, not for a honeymoon. By thalj time he's got nature's number — at least ir so far as the old beldame ever reveals it. "The studios," I suggested, limply," aren'tl conditions there conducive to " I "Hard work," said Bill, promptly. "Hard! work and very little else. And harder than| ever now that talkies have come in — to sta or not to stay is not the question. They'i here now and we've all got to be pioneei^ all over again; and who in hell wants to " a pioneer? "They've got me worried. My role 'Interference' has got me worried, too. I one of those things called 'actor-proof.' dying gent who atones for his sins by mail ^ ing the beau geste at every turn. I'd much prefer to play some obscure part of which no one had much hope. Then, anything I might make of it would be a pleasant surprise. But this slice — they expect something phenomenal. And all my little inhibitions have come yodeling. "What's more, we have to make it twice. That's talkies for you. The first time we make it the regular way, silent drama, for universal consumption. The second take we do the talkies for the English-speaking countries which are, to date, the only countries where talking pictures can be shown. "And that isn't all — I had a talking test the other day and I came out lisping. I talked like thith: 'Ithn't it a nith day, thweetie?' Buster Collier made a test and didn't lisp. And he does. "Besides, talking roles should have rehearsals, careful rehearsals and many of them. I suppose I got some of my capacity for taking pains from the late Leo Ditrichstein, with whom I used to play. Never did man labor over the faintest voice inflection, the merest suggestion of emphasis, as he did. The result was perfection. "If my acting is nicked, I'm done for. I haven't a Barrymore profile or a Gilbert personality — and I know it. Anything I have achieved has come as a result of my acting, such as it is. I'm no lily for looks. ".'\nyway, we're in for it and that's that." So was I in for it. Well, what to do about it? The salacious, subtle desperado, the despoiler, the vandal of virtue had turned out to be a decent fellow, after all. The wisecracker, merely rather wise. Scratch the surface of a movie actor and you'll find, I fear, a gent. Stop Me If You've Heard This {Continued Jrom page 25) ESTELLE TAYLOR: Macintosh awakened to find that his wife had died during the night. "Hey, cook!" he yelled as he jumped out of bed. "Ye dinna need poach but one egg this mornin'!" CHARLIE CHASE: A Scotchman dashed up to the studio doctor and panted, "I've got a sliver in my tongue!" "How did that happen?" the doctor asked. "A man dropped a pint of whiskey on the floor." RICHARD DIX: There was a Scotchman who got a pair of spats for Christmas. And he had them half-soled and heeled. JANET GAYNOR: "Did you hear the story of the pair of tights?" "No." "Well, it seems there were two Scotchmen." MARY DUNCAN: Once there was a Scotchman who wouldn't send his little boy to school because the lad had to pay attention. CHARLES FARRELL: A Scotchman appeared on the golf course and called for a caddy. When the caddy appeared, he looked him over and said: "You are a likely-looking lad, but are you any good at finding balls?" "Oh, yes, sir," replied the boy. "Then go and find one and we'll start." 74