Motion Picture Classic (Jul-Dec 1928)

•ifvc-.M h^ o^: n Entirely NEW Saxophone 77je Mezzo-Soprano in F HERE IT IS. a wonderfufnew saxophone, new in voice, new in tone quality, n**w in size, new in scale, and new in playing possibilities, the marvelous new Mezzo-Soprano Saxophone in F. Recognized by artists as the real solo voice of the saxophone family. Only Conn's resources could develop such a saxophone. Only Conn could build it. Since its introduction, the Mezzo-Soprano in F has won a commanding position in the music world. It opens up a whole world of music never before available for saxophone players. Get the facts about this exclusive Conn instrument now, , FREE TRIAL; Easy Payments. Send the Coupon for free literature and details of free trial offer on any instrument; no obligation. BAND INSTRUMENTS %^ail This Qiupon^ ,^ C. G. CONN, JCtd., 10o4Conn Bldg., Elkhart, Ind. Send free literature and details of trial offer on — [Instrument] Name St.orR.F.D , City _ _ _ State.County _ _ ^f^; Tiinvtolfave Kissable! 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I guarantee these results or refund money. Order my LOTION FACE The Ham of Friendship {Continued from page ig) BLEACH toiJay. When the packaKe arrives, pay the postman only $1 .60 for the larue size bottle. Use It six days. Then, if not simply amazed, I will refund full price with out question. Write today to (Mrs.) GERVAISE GRAHAM Dept. c-10 25 W. Illinois St. Chicago, IIL "Oh! You Ham Oh! You Eggs \\e'll tell the world that weall like ham, But Ham without eggs isn't worth a damn. .\11 night long. We drink what should be in kegs. But when day is dawning. Our Yappers are yawning. For 'Oh, you ham and you eggs.' Ta, da, da, da, da, da. "Oh! You Ham Oh! You Eggs U'e'U tell the world that we all like ham, But ham without eggs isn't worth a damn. All night long, We drink what should be in kegs. It may not be kosher. But so is your grocer. So we'll eat ham with you eggs." "Fine, boys, fine! You did raarvelously. Our radio audience will have got it fine. Now for a little exercise to give us an appetite for 'Oh, you ham and you eggs!'" The cream of the Log Angeles business and movie worlds is rather thick, especially around the waist; it is thus necessary to whip it into shape or the meal. The younger and thinner members (in pocketbook as well as waist) follow dutifully — for a struggling young man, membership in his boss' club is almost as good as coming from his old home town. So one must be a good fellow — and then there are the contacts. More Fun and Games " I ,MNE! Now everybody shake hands X"^with the guests at his table. Let's all get acquainted — where else better than right here at the 'Shrine of Friendship?' Fine! Now everybody put his arm around his neighbor's shoulders, and let's sing the 'Sea Song.' Altogether now!" As this song is sung, there is a swaying back and forth, or from side to side, in imitation of waves. On one bench, holding about thirty men swaying back and forth in unison, the foremost falls back with each swing. He is fat, and his leanings carry weight. One after another, the rearmost tumble off the end of the bench onto the ground. They grin sheepishly, but make no complaint. It's all in fun, you know. And, also —fatty happens to be one of the richest men in town. " Now Mr. Rawlinson will lead us again — this time in repeating the cryptic slogan of the club. Then I have a little surprise for • you; but that must wait. Mr. Rawlinson." More wisecracks, and then the repeating of the slogan. " E M ? M E X ? X V F M N X ! Which, translated, reads: ' Hef ve eny hem? Yes, ve hef hem. Hef ve eny eggs? Yes, ve hef eggs. Oh, I see, ve hef hem an' eggs!" .\o, you're wrong — Barney Google got it from the club, not the club from him. " Now for the surprise, the little surprise — & most marvelous little surprise. Little Patsy Page, who is making a picture for First National, will recite for us." Patriotic Patsy SO little Patsy is put upon a chair, that she may be high enough to reach the microphone. Dressed in red with brass buttons, she looks just like the little trouper F V N S V F F V N S V F o I C that she is; a real little soldier — or bell-hn In keeping with her uniform, she recites I with gestures — something about our coi \ try's flag, and the brave patriots a pioneers who have shed their blood for it I a five-year-old child weighs the evideml and then condescends to tell them that tb | did well. Then, in keeping with the sad experien I of the years that weigh so heavily upon h | weary shoulders, she tells the tragic story the clown who is forced to smile even thout.! the tears would burst his heart. But slif doesn't smile — this is serious business f(j her. Mama stands beaming up, happy jl her darling's chance for free publicity. Ttj climax approaches. Patsy draws herself u| to her full near-three-feet, swings her an I majestically above her head, and declaims | "Laugh! clown, laugh! — ha, ha, ha, he ha. . . .!" Thunderous applause, and then — th I sudden realization that Patsy has started Oil another. In fact, she succeeds in gettiaj out fully three lines before she is pulle forcibly from her "dear unknown audienal of the air!" Bright child! Next on the program is a cowboy tenor.l who of course sings grand opera, and then — 1 "A little Californie girl who is going East] to show them what we can do. No less a| person than Mr. George M. Cohan hims has chosen this lady, Dorothy \\'hitmore, ■ play the lead in his next production. Mi Whitmore. ..." Though a couple of decades older tha the other little lady, this one is just as cut^ After telling her invisible radio audienc^'j that she is sorry that she cannot give each and every one of them a great big hug, the, grand uproar starts. Like cowboy tenors, i musical comedy stars also seem to goj Metrofwlitan when they get the chance. EVERYTHING is sweet for a time, hi then turns sour. The lady sigi frantically to her accompanist — but he too busy striking the proper attitudes ti worry about mere notes. So she is foro to stop in the middle of a bar. Her glan sours the sugary apology in her voice "I'm sorry, but you have the wrong key Upon which a voice from the gallei pipes up: " Don't worry about the key, lad as long as he's in the right room!" The lad and her accompanist force a smile, but seer fearful lest the "mike" has caught the com ment. Then a glee club from the Legion Post— their second appearance before any audience. Grand Opera again — the soldiers' chorus from "Faust," this time. But they do finish eventually. And that finishes the entertainment — at last ! Now for the star attraction — the distinguished guest. It is time for him to arise and bespeak his gratitude for this magnificent reception. Los Angeles has shown what it can do, now it is his turn. All straighten in their seats, and try out the views from the different sides of the head in front. Tinguest of honor is Mayor Jimmy Walkoi. New York's proof that it is the center of tl clothing industry. The president rises, and a hush falls. "Ladies and gentlemen, our guest i>l honor for today, the Honorable James I Walker, Mayor of New York." The tension grows even stronger. Then is a final frantic search for better views. "Sends his regrets, and says that he is truly sorry that he will be unable to appear. Due to an attack of influenza, he was unabli to get up in time to reach here by eigh' o'clock." 82