Motion Picture Classic (Jul-Dec 1928)

Stop Me, If You've Heard ^his One Cackles From The Campus: The Favorite College Stories of Cinema Celebrities By DOROTHY SPENSLEY RA YMOSD GRIFFITH: Two bo\-s were lea\-ing a college Crom. Said one of them, " Ha\-e you transpwrtation ome?" "No." "I'll take you in my 'Mayflower.' " "What do you mean, 'Mayflower' ?" They piled into the machine, a dilapidated and muchdecorated Ford. "This is only a Ford — where do you get that 'Mayflower' stuff?" " Well, I call her ' Mayflower' because so many Puritans have come across in it!" LOUIS WOLHEIM: A father made a sudden and unannounced call on his son at college. He arriN-ed on a late night train and, without telephoning, went direct to his son's boarding-house. Ringing the door bell, he aroused the landlady, who sho\-ed her head out of a window and shouted down: "What do you want?" " Does Jack Beats live here?" shouted his father. "Yes," replied the landlady, disgustedly. "Just bring him right in and stretch him out on the davenport." MYRTLE STEDMAN: Flapper on leaving church with her brand-new husband: " It won't be vkTong now!" CORiyXEGRIFFITH: Student: "Why do \-ou always hold my hands when I start to tell you how much I love you?" Fair CoEd: "To make sure vou haven't got your fingers crossed." BEBE DANIELS: It was during the making "The Campus Flirt." One of the more st dious youtns was in casual con\-ersation with an Irish property boy. "How do you like being an actor?" asked the prop boy. " I am atrAJd I h*\-e no histrionic abiiitj," answered the college boy. solemnly. "Sure, and you don't have lo know history to be an actor, ' props assured. JEASETTE LOFF: Bill was returning from a modern jazz F>^rty a trifle the worse for wear. Howe\-er, he navigated his front steps with precision and snared the kevhole with considerable skill. Once inside the dimly lighted hall, there was an ominous silence followed by a tremendous crash of breaking glass. "William!" shouted the commanding voice of his father from abo%-e, " what in the world are ntdu doing down there?" Anyone who thinks that such k\ierything's okay, dad," should pause to consider Al came the reply. "I just wanted to teach those goldfish not to snap at me!" EDDIE 0 VILLAS: Dot* "Where you steppin' tonight, gal friend? " Dimples: " I'm going for a spin with Nick Necker. Will I need a coat?" Dot: "Gosh, no! What >-ou'll need is a fan!" BILLIE DOVE: Professor: "Can >-ou pro\-e that the square of the h>'potenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the tv'o sides of this triangle?" Student: "I don't ha\'e to proN-e it. I admit it." ALICE WHITE: "College." said someone, "gixes the modem girl a much broader \Txabular>-. .As for example: I'd simply Io\t a cigarette — I'd simply lo\-e a cocktail — Thank >-ou for the lo^ely flowers — WTiat an adorable gown — My dear, he's simply adorable — The whole e\"ening was simply hectic — The whole drive was too hectic for words — ^'ou cant imagine what a hectic time we had.' DOROTHY ilACKAILL: Twt) similes that are strikingly collegiate: "So still you could hear the microbes gnashing their teeth." "A reputation as loose as a flapper's galoshes." JACK ifl'LHALL: The prudish co-ed went to the class photographer to ha\^ her portrait taken but first she tied a string tightly about her skirt at the bottom. "What's the idea?" asked the photographer. "You can't deceive me, x^oung man," she answered. " I know >t>u see me in that thing upside down!" ROBERT ARMSTROXG: First frat man: " Did they con\-ict that night club dancer? " Second frat man: " No, they couldn't get an>thing on her." \fRS. J A MES GLEASOS (Lucile Webster Gleason>: Judge: "But why do \x)u want thi» dix-orce, lady?" Ex-Co-ed: "Well. I'm thinking of getting married." CHESTER things as flappers have been relegated to the past COSKLIX : ice White's type and Eddie Quillan's a-oiiscrs (CoiUiiim^ on page 76) 25