Motion Picture Classic (Jul-Dec 1928)

OLLYWOOD should have its mouth <^H^^HH / washed. It ^HV^^I/ tells dirty stories. About itself. ^^■^^^ That these are mostly untrue doesn't much matter. The breath of scandal is scented by blue-nosed defamers of the screen. The wellknown jig is up. And the movies pay the piper for the idle gossip of a cocktail hour. Then the stars, the studios, the suppress agents cackle, squawk and scold more vociferously than four wet hens and six press-agents. The teapots seethe and bubble in frantic futility. And everyone adjourns to indulge in another rumor orgy. It never occurs to the fanatical defenders of the faith that sacrilege is rife within their ranks. That Hollywood dirt is dug from the fertile soil of Holl\Tvood itself. That the sincerest seekers of scandal are the stars themselves. That studio tongues wag like a terrier's tail. Cities have sex. Paris is flightily feminine. London is a moody male. And Holl\"wood — well, whoops my dear! Holl\-wood can bake a cake, but she can't keep a secret. Perhaps it's because of boredom. After all. there isn't much to do but talk about ourselves and one another. Perhaps the silent drama gives rise to inhibitions which stimulate ofF-screen loquacity. In any event, the best talkies are made where there is no camera. But, oh baby, how the human sound devices record! You can lay a bet to lay an egg if a story started in Beverly doesn't reach Broadway quicker than a nickel's worth of air mail. .And you need not fear the necessity of performing the barnyard miracle. The hills of Holl\-wood are haunted by echo. The safest rule in the City of the Stars is to believe nothing that you hear, and only half what you see. For here, more than an\-where in this broad land, appearances are most deceiving. Quite naturally there are indiscretions. For Holh-vvood is human. .And therefore errs. Occasionally there is a real scandal such as occurs from time to time in Dubuque, Skeaneateles, and Des Moines. For strange to say, movie stars have their moments just as though they were choir singers, ministers, or pillars of society. The Parlor Game, for Keeps BL 1 nine times in a dozen the repetition of cinema gossip is reminiscent of that parlor game in which ho first of rhp pKivers whispers in the ear ot his neighbor. Who's Hollywood's Manufacture Most of BY HERBERT CRUIKSHANK who m turn repeats what he hears, until finally the last of the lot tells aloud how the initial message has reached him. And just as some merry wag purposely garbles the words for the sake of a louder laugh, so do Mesdames and Monsieurs Grundy develop a kiss into a statutory offense in order to occupy center stage while the tale is being told. Let's dish the dirt, says some sweet young thing to her fellow. And rather than confess social ostracism by admitting ignorance of any recently baked mud-pies, each outdoes the other in a manner to make Munchausen marvel or Ananias appear an amateur. Thus the fact that the wife of a top-notch star entered a beauty parlor by the front door and left through the rear exit becomes a wild tale of illicit love and intrigue. As the story came to me, the wife — and mother — in question drove up to the masseuse in her Rolls, met her flivver-driving Lothario at the back door, flew with him to a love-nest, and was back in the beauty parlor in time to sail majestically forth when her big car called. A pretty story, surely, and one bringing great credit to the imaginative genius who invented it. Another gem that has been going the rounds deals with a director who returned unexpectedly from location to find a light in his wife's room and to recognize the car parked in his driveway. Softly entering, he quickly gathered up the lady's expensive furs, an armful of silver, and sundry other valuables. These he noiselessly deposited in the caller's car. Then from a corner 'phone booth he called the police. "I am a neighbor of Mr. and Mrs. Director," he explained. "They are away, and there is a light in the house. I fear a burglar)' is being committed." The brawny arms of < the law, finding the < booty in the motor, . \^^ Ht^j^^ secreted them selves in the l_ ■^