Motion Picture Classic (Jul-Dec 1928)

Hooey ^ Celebrities Their Own Scandal Illustrations By ELDON KELLEY shrubbery. When Romeo made his prosaic exit, he was pounced upon. Confronted with the loot, he explained that he had been a guest and that he couldn't conceive how his hostess's property happened to have parked itself in his wagon. "Why not appeal to the lady, herself.^" he suggested. In answer to their ring, the fair one responded in filmy negligee. But with a discretion and quick-wittedness that would have delighted Boccaccio, she sensed the situation and denied ever having seen her erstwhile companion, thus saving a cherished reputation. The lover was hauled away to durance vile and only pull saved him from a charge of breaking and entry. The husband, returning next morning, was greeted with kisses. The aftair has never been mentioned. But each is still wondering how much the other knows. Now I claim the inventor of this yarn is a reincarnated De Maupassant. I am quite sure that the very charming people whose names are linked with the story would be (]uite flattered, each in his way, for the accomplishments ascribed to them. But, alas, the story, like many a model husband, is too good to be true. It seems that on location a temperamental newcomer elilded a vigilant mamma to answer the call of the moonlight and the exceptionally personable masculine star. Their orisons were interrupted by the irate parent, whose ilien gaucherie precluded appreciation of the advantages of friendly relations with leading men. There was hell in several languages, and threats in many more. The erudite lirector was called in consultation. And mamma was ^0 quite successfully packed off to a private The picture and the madhouse. amour continued. And both lly suc , quite. unately is not ind of boy. Which must lessen the vicarious thrill of the situation to those who are initiate. The Keyhole Camera A director had two wives and a sweetheart. One wife was divorced. The other was dead. But the girl friend was a lively miss indeed. Now it happened that the wife who remained alive was much dissatisfied with the financial arrangements which her decree entailed. She so announced herself to the masculinity always ready to protect weak women. Especially when they are endowed with Mme. Glyn's invention. By hook and by crook the fair ex was established in a cabin adjacent to that occupied by her former spouse and his new conquest, when these twain flew the hurly-burly of the studios for an Arcadian interlude. Much may be blamed on the chap who originated keyholes. And if this director ever encounters him in the great beyond, the milk and honey of Jerusalem will turn to gall and wormwood in his mealy mouth. For armed with photographic studies made through the keyhole of the particular bungalow in question, Madame Ex was enabled to secure much gold and precious stones. And Holly ' wood was given a loud laugh. Which would be very rare and Rabelaisian, but that it is not true. There was the story of the untouched star and the curlyheaded kid. She just adored him, and as their friendship ripened she even purchased his underwear and doubtless darned his sox. A sweetly domestic bit of scandal, and one for which you could love her. But the tale is as false as though the youngster was guiltless of the aforementioned unmentionables. And for all she knows, he is. But where do these fabrications come from.' From their best friends more often than is nice. Sometimes, of course, they are born of jealousy, and sent upon their world-wide way armed with the poison of spleen and malice. But far more frequently reputations are crucified to make a movie holiday. The mongering of gossip is not confined to the feline sex. Many a spicy bit is twice-told at the Montmartre bachelors' table, over a surreptitious nip at the Plantation or cofi^ee and snails at the rotund Henry's. And oddly enough, the chap who tells the story, giving the protagonists names of his own choosing, is the very one whose name was linked with the same tale as told by a confrere before his entrance. {Continued on page JQ) 49