Motion Picture Magazine (Feb-Jul 1919)

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The Sad Business of Being Funny (Continued from page 46) that slate, Louise — all right — hit him — HARD!" It was done. Louise, with a swing of her husky young arms, brought a great, quarter-of-an-inch-thick slate crashing down over Chester's head, the frame decorating his neck collar fashion. "Oompf!" said he, and reeled dizzily to a chair as the camera-man "cut." "Fine !" applauded Sennett. "Wasn't that funny?" he asked, turning to me. "Terrible funny!" I answered; and I meant the first word. At lunch time I joined Chester Conklin and Ben Turpin, who were making their way to the little upstairs restaurant at the studio. Chester was feeling his head sympathetically, and Ben was examining the bump, tho his eyes were directed, as nearly as I could judge, towards the farther end of the studio. "Dont worry," he said consolingly, "the woist is yet to come — Mack says there'll be a 're-take' of that scene after lunch." Some comforter, is Ben. "Tell me something about the funny side of making comedies," I suggested when we were seated at an oilcloth covered table in the restaurant. "There ain't no such animal," said Ben, eyeing me sorrowfully — at least he may have been looking at me — it's hard to tell —"it's all hard woik — nothing funny about it except the laughs you get out of the screen !" Chester was still coddling his bump. "That schoolhouse scene looked sort of rough-house," he said, "but that was mild in comparison with what I generally go thru. This afternoon I am wiped all over the place by the mother of this pupil — and believe me, it's not going to be a pink tea affair either. "But that's nothing — yesterday I was thrown in a tank of water exactly fifteen times before the director was suited ; after that I was dipped in a flour barrel, then soot was blown over me. The whole thing took from eight in the morning until three in the afternoon without a stop of any kind, and as I was coming across the street to the studio, feeling like a German worm, a dame comes up to me and says : 'Oh, Mr. Conklin, I'd know you any place — you have such a funny expression.' " Ben looked at Chester — or at me — or at both of us — and shook his head. "That ain't the woist," he told us gloomily. "Tank stuff is easy money; gee, I wish they'd pick out a nice soft tub of water to chuck me into — I'd think I wasn't drawing me pay. Look at me now ; I'm forty-nine years old, and been in the business fifteen years, and I've been in the hospital twenty-five times. "I've been hit on the head with an iron horseshoe, knocked silly with a barber pole, stepped on by horses, and run over by machines. Once they were to hit me with a five-foot 'break-away' statue of light material, and the prop man got a real one by mistake — and say, when I come to, I didn't know whether my name was Ben Turpen or Mary Pickf ord ! Another time they were slamming dummies against a wall, but the heads broke off all of them. They were short of time on the scene and didn't have any more dummies, so I told the directors to use me; they did, and my head wasn't broke — but it made an awful dent in the wall !" "Oh, well, as to that," Chester chipped in, not to be left out of the recital of sor