Motion Picture News (Nov-Dec 1920)

November 6 , 1920 3521 Personalities O f f H a n d Introductions by Robert E . We I s h This week we allow Mr. Happy Golucky, a press agent, to fill this page. As he writes at greater length than zee ean ever hope to — and he needs ci'cry inch of space he can get if the boss is to be kept happy — we wiH let htm go on with his own sad story: 1AM the greatest press agent in the world. I admit it. That makes it practically unanimous. The case is clinched by the fact that 1 have been asked to write this page for one week. That's a recognition of superlative and scintillating genius. It's just like when the boss says: " You big bum ! You got nine special interviews with me and forty-four columns of space last week, and this weekyou only got halt as much. What's the matter with you? Laying down on the job? " That's recognizing ability, too. It's the best a boss can do. If the word " Can't " isn't in the lexicon of Youth, then I'm here to say that the Funk & Wagnalls of a press agent's boss never heard about " Good stuff ! " * * * BUT I'd better lay off that one sheet copy about my own axes and get to the twenty-four. You know I had to promise not to mention myself or my own picture in order to get this page. Any time you see anything about " Why Change Your Nightie?" it's just a slip. I intend to be good. Besides, a super-special marvellous production with a DeMille title don't need no insinuating advertising in the state rights field these days. It could gross I three hundred thousand through the accessory jobbers. Why I sold Florida to a man living in ' Seattle even before the picture had been re-cut the sixth time. I sold him with a 1 new line about advertising the picture in the trade papers after the territory was closed. " That's when it will do some good with the exhibitor." Nobody ever pulled that -line before. Nobody. Nobody ever went through with it, either, but ; that's something else again. As I said before, I'm not going to say a word about myself or my picture on this page. The managing editor has given me his notebook and I'm to write a lot of " Personality " jazz concerning folks in the business. I can say anything I want about them so long as I don't tell the truth. It's a cinch. I'm a press agent. * * * THE first note he hands me is a letter from Watterson R. Rothacker forwarding a clipping from the Chicago Tribune. Herewith, to wit and as follows, is said same quotation : " Both the dead man and his wife were closely questioned by the attorney, and each told the same «ory." — Casper, Wyo., Herald. What d'ye mean " tell no tales." Rothacker says this story might interest the Vitagraph Company. I should say so. It's always " interesting " when you get publicity you didn't expect. And " The Trib!"' Which reminds me about an editorial William A. Johnston ran on one of my boss's pictures some few months ago. Do you know I had the hardest time convinc ing the boss that I wrote that editorial and slipped it over on Johnston? I had to tell iim every argument I used on W. A, J. and how many lunches I bought, 'n everything. But I finally proved it to him. And got my raise. Now I'm sorry I did. The boss wants me to get a Johnston editorial on every two reeler he releases. It's a tough assignment. 'Cause I can't get anybody to introduce me to Mr. Johnston. *.' * $ 1HATE to bring myself into this conversation again, but I must say I'd like to work for that guy Rothacker. The editor tells me he's one of the few advertiserers who says, '* I only want my publicity department to send out news about my company; if it isn't news don't run it," and really means it. That line is going to be engraved on the tombstone of a lot of guys in this game I'm going to get. Some day. But the editor says Rothacker lives up to it. Since I don't never suspect no editor of having press agent traits, I'll have to believe him. THE next line in the notebook says, " 'Doc' Shallenberger." And it don't say nothing else. What I'm supposed to write about " Doc " I don't know. What I could write would be a bookfull. But it might make the competition too strong for my own mastodonic masterpiece, " Why Change Your Nightie? " I can't afford to tout that guy too strong. People will begin to think there's nothing else in the state rights field. I guess I knowr why " Doc's " name was on the editor's book, though. It seems to be an unwritten law now that every trade paper must say something unusual about the independent game each week. Isn't it funny how some trade paper discovers the state rights field about every six months? All the old tricks are pulled out of the bag and paraded. Then the other trade papers have to scurry around and turn the old handsprings in new clothes for fear they will be called imitators. " For the last shall be first in the publishing game." If you get what I mean. HERE'S a note in the book says, " Eltinge Warner." Warner is one of the big guys in the Zane Grey pictures and also publishes " Smart Set," " The Black Mask," " Field and Stream," etc. Don't know why I have to mention Warner on this page. I didn't never get nothing over in " Smart Set " except when George Jean Nathan panned me and Jesse Lasky and some smaller guys for corrupting the stage. And 1 never did play those chorus broads much. But the managing editor says I got to mention him, 'cause Warner is a regular, all-wool, honest-to-glory, clear-white, hundred-proof good fellow. Guess that's reason enough. There's only a few of us left. Yes, I'm a press agent. * * * ANOTHER note says, "Jerry Beatty and Jack Meador ate in the Claridge Wednesday." Shucks ! Must I mention other press agents ? That's unfair! Besides, those boys ain't ki my class. Not if they eat in the Claridge. The blue-pencil guy says I have to mention this, because the News hasn't yet told that Jerry Beatty is back from his crosscountry trip. Played the one-night stand route and looks huskier than ever. A lot of us guys would improve in appearance if they'd let us get away from the home office. ONE half hour at this desk has convinced me that a managing editor needs a sponge for a backbone. All day long he has to listen to all the old lines and shoot his face and voice full of eager surprise hop each time. A state rights fellow just blew in with this : " I started sumthin' new. Set the price on my picture for each territory and stuck to it. No gyping, no jockeying. Buyers so surprised they all embrace me. Square, above-board deal I'm givin', and they never heard of it before." That's a new line. Ask Joe Lee. A magnate just phoned! "We plan to start our big advertising campaign in three or four weeks. Meanwhile we need a few little advance announcements. Little ones, just two or three column heads." The editor says he's not supposed to know that the magnate needs the publicity to get the money with which to advertise if he really intends to advertise. Or, as Oscar Price might say, " This will be a great business when it is, won't it ? " Another press agent came in to growl because the editor used four pages of his company's publicity, but every line of it happened to have been written by othci members of the publicity staff. That's team work. Eddie MacManus would call it " Coagulation of the circulation department." Somehow or other, I don't think I'd like this job. There's something about the rewards of wielding a blue pencil which remind me of the continuity of " Why Change Your Nightie? " It ain't.