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JOE MARTIN SOLILOQUIZES
There's one scene in "The jazz Monkey" (I made up that title myself) where I shoots the lion in the living room just as he's about to claw the gizzard out of our hero lady.
I was afraid the old gun wouldn't go off (property men are merely human) so 1 gave it an affectionate kiss just before I pulled the trigger and said in an offhand sort of way, "Sweet baby, don't fail me now! "
Well, sir, darned if the title writer didn't swipe the whole line, word for word, exactly as 1 said it (1 usually write all my own subtitles) and ihe funny part is that every' body says it is one of the four biggest laughs ever pulled off on the screen. The other three were mine, too.
1 wasn't even trying to be funny, yet they laughed. It's a hell of a world, I'll say.
I'm not showing the lion in this photograph. He's a good enough actor as lions go, but the star's the thing" and besides, 1 get up my own publicity.
I told the boss of the Universal the other day that the trade papers ought to be glad to run these soliloquies of
mine for nothing because they know I'm the most im^ portant star in the film business. (1 wouldn't say that about myself, even though I happen to know that it's true.) Well, the boss said that the papers do run them for nothing-nothing but money.
Then he said that the trade paper fellows like Johnston of the News, Hoff of the World and Gulick of the Moving Picture Weekly would run my stuff for nothing on the same day that they take out their right eye, roll it down Broadway and dance the shimmy on it. I thought that was pretty decent of them.
Then 1 told the boss that instead of joak ng the exhibitors h'gh prices for my J02 Martin an'mal comedies, he ought to let them have them for nothing. Just to prove he's a good fellow. And he said he wou'd do that. He promised to do it on the same day rhat he makes a bonfire out of his Powers Film stock and Liberty bonds. I thought that was pretty decent of iiim, considerin' that he's only a moving p cture man afier all.
Have you run any of my pictures yet? If you don't, l am going over to the next cage and tell the educated jackass that maybe his idea of going into the theatre business is not so bad after all.