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March 2, 1918
THE MOVING PICTURE WORLD
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Grinding the Crank
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9.07 10.00 10.30
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With Thornton Fisher
ND still there are people who really believe that all comic artists draw pictures for the papers as rapidly as they do for the movies.
ADVICE TO E.XH16ITOR.S
A few days' schedule of a movie magnate :
9 a. m. Arrives at office. 9.02 Signs eight contracts for new productions.
Bites end of cigar.
Confers with director.
Thinks of something he wants to say to manager of
west coast studio. Swings aboard train for California, five days later arrives Los Angeles. 11.30 a.m. Sees manager. 11.00 Looks over plant. 11.03 Says "Hello" to hired hands. 11.05 Lunch at Los Angeles Athletic Club. 12.00 Finishes baked apple.
12.15 p.m. On train for New York. Arrives in New York five days later.
10 a. m. Again thinks of something he forgot to say to man
ager of the west coast studio. 10.15 On train for Los Angeles.
Ad infinitum. Ad infinitum.
Reminiscences.
Our idea of nothing with a string tied around it is the girl in the box office of a ten-cent house who asks "How many?" when you lay down a dime.
* * *
Camouflage.
A fifty-three-year-old dame playing ingenue.
An actor who is at liberty and tells you that he has six contracts in his pocket waiting to be signed.
A star giving her leading man credit for the success of the picture.
A scene in which a player is shown drinking rum (?).
A twenty-three-year-old actor doing an old man's part.
An actor falling off a sixteen-story building.
* * *
You can't imagine how foolish a man feels who has just placed his foot on the initial rung of stardom when he receives his first honest-to-goodness love letter from a young female fan.
* * *
We reflect with pleasure the pride we experienced upon seeing our own little house right up there on the screen one night. Nobody knew or cared a hang whose house it was, but it gave us a thrill just the same.
Remember when they used to throw slides on the screen between pictures. After having basked in the light of love's fond dream in one reel your vision would suddenly be startled by a slide announcing "Henry Beermeister, Delicatessen, Liverwurst and Sausages," or "Visit Smith's Emporium. Clothes for all the family. Your father bought his pants from us. Why not you?"
Remember when (and they still do it in some places) at certain intervals the usher would come along the aisle with his sanitary shot gun and sprinkle the atmosphere with fumigating liquid. Many a happy little germ family lost its
sole support thereby.
* * *
Misquoted quotations. Seest thou a press agent diligent in his business and he shall purloin much space.
Three men in the trade suffered from a gas attack on Broadway the other day. It seems that the fourth gentleman had an idea for a new series of pictures called "The Evolution of Eccentricities of the Theorists of Electropho
tomicrography."
♦ * *
We hope never to meet the operator who sends his reels back to the exchange looking like a plate of spaghetti.
That's all for today, I guess.
fie wr.