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Better Equipment
CONDUCTED BY ^^^E. T. KEYSER
Merry Christmas
MERRY CHRISTMAS! people. While there may be a few more vacant spaces near the top of the stockings that we’ve hung on the mantel, they are nothing like as empty as they might have been if matters were worse. So, take it all in all, it’s about an average Christmas as Christmases go.
From a casual inspection of the tree, we would say that there are a few new dew-dads hanging upon it in addition to the regulation candy sticks, cornucopias, gilt balls and yellow birds with green wings.
For instance, we understand that the A. M. P. E. D. A. is about to be represented with a brand new official organ of its own, to which we wish the best of success. We certainly are in sympathy with the owners thereof, who will, in the nature of things, become its most extensive advertisers, and who will have to decide how much of their own publicity they will run. <
Right down on one of the most accessible branches of the tree we note three packages marked “For a Good Exhibitor,” which we are willing to bet will be found to contain respectively one of those new mirror projection lamps, a new Mazda, that we understand will be a world beater, and an apparatus for projecting a conversational picture.
Beneath the tree, we behold some bulky packages which from their suggestive outlines, we surmise are independent lighting plants carefully wrapped in tissue paper. We sincerely trust that somewhere in the packages will be found rather more definite information regarding their use and desirability than we have yet discovered |jj outside of our own editorial columns.
Side by side with these latter offerings of Santa, is something that looks as if it might be an oil burning apparatus for theatre heating. And it certainly does look as if the recipients of these will be in a position to worry the soul of the coal dealer, provided that individual really has one of those attachments.
One of the limbs of the tree is quite badly bent, due to the weight of the gift suspended therefrom. We have been told in strict confidence that it is either a player piano or a theatre organ that looks like a million dollars, but is warranted not to burst the bank account of the exhibitor whose name is on the package.
We don’t know the name of the donor of this much-to-be-appreciated gift because with all due and becoming modesty that generous individual has not as yet placed his name upon the package where we can see it, but, as soon as the bundle is unwrapped we will announce this interesting fact in a decidedly loud voice.
From the tip of almost every limb depends what at first glance appears to be a light, but which, upon closer examination, proves to be a new theatre — all spic and span — and brilliantly illuminated. There are about five hundred of these which have been specially prepared during the past year and which will be distributed by Santa in person to the exhibitors who have won them in open competition in the great game of pleasing patron fans.
So, here’s wishing the recipients of these gifts all sorts of success with them and the pleasantest, merriest, most profitable Christmas that they have ever enjoyed heretofore and also that it won’t be even a marker in prosperity of those yet to come.