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Can Love Last in Hollywood?
{Continued jrom page 4)
building contractor, romance would be excellent 'staff work' with which to ornament the building, but that is all."
"So many of my friends insist that the romance with their wives is as strong after ten or fifteen years as it was in the beginning! That is foolish. If they would only say they love their wives as much as they did fifteen years ago, I would likely say, 'You probably love her much more.'
"My idea is that, when two people are considering marriage, romance should not enter into it. First they should find what they have in common. What are their aims and what kind of background do they want for life? Surely everybody wishes to build some kind of background. If a man and woman find they have something fine to contribute to this union, and there is no antipathy between them, they have the first plank for their marriage platform.
"In my own case, I know my marriage was the most important step in my entire life, and the fact that Ruth and I agreed before we married that we wanted children was another momentous occasion. When couples have talked over the subject of children — and it should be talked over before marriage, make no mistake about this — and find they agree, they have a good start. Our boy and girl gave us a joy and an incentive that nothing else in the world could replace.
"I was disgusted when I read last week that two-thirds of the children today are biological accidents. Never in the history of the world have as many children been planned for as are being planned for now!
"Why, in the picture industry, if we have no children and are not making preparation for the arrival of the stork, we are as much taboo as if we had never heard of Emily Post. The woman who hasn't a baby now is terrified that all her friends will think she is too old to have one. And we men are all jittery for fear some one may cast a look of condemnation in our direction. Everybody is keeping especially fit, and babies are the order of the day in Hollywood." Many artists of the stage and screen believe that romance — new romance, is absolutely necessary to the life of any creative artist.
NOT Mr. Howard. He believes that this is an adolescent viewpoint. "But." he adds, "the probabilities are that fifty years from now we shall have two kinds of marriage, if we have marriage at all. One, a marriage between two people who want the balance of the world to know that they have chosen each other from all the world, but who have no idea of having children. This would not be unlike Judge Lindsey's companionate marriage.
"The other marriage would have, as its prime reason for being, the purpose of having children, and the marriage would be legalized so all the interests of the offspring might be protected.
"Of course, should the time come when we have two marriage ceremonies, the childless couples would undoubtedly be taxed heavily, as bachelors are now in some localities. Strangely enough, I imagine there would be some sort of stigma attached to that sort of marriage, for unless physically unfitted for parenthood — they would be proclaiming loudly to the world at large their selfishness.
"Fifty years from now," he mused, "my children will have made most of
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their important decisions about life. My little boy is now fourteen, and my little girl eight. Their children, however, will come under the new regime."
He hesitated a moment, as if making up his mind.
"I suppose I am going to incur the everlasting ridicule of physicians and psychoanalysts when I say that / do not think that physical compatibility is the most important factor in marriage. If all of us were as exclusively interested in sex as Dr. Freud would have us believe, before long there would be no human beings left in order to carry on the race!
"Naturally, I can speak more positively about Englishmen. I know they do not select a wife largely for her sexappeal. An Englishman feels his wife is part of him, just as much as his family into which he was born.
"The attachment for a wife is based on something far more lasting . . . love, tenderness, kindness, nurture . . . the instinct that unites one to some other one as if a part of self, with a desire to benefit and bless. Marriage is like that. It clicks and locks ... an interlocking of personalities. English wives do not have to be wondering every minute if they are still able to charm their husbands. Some English wives have even been accused of looking 'dowdy' because they give less thought to 'dolling up,' as it were. And Englishmen sometimes appear less chivalrous because it does not occur to them that they must be winning their wives over every day in order to hold them. She is simply the other half of him . . . and his better half. She, too, I believe, takes her marriage more seriously, recognizing the obligation as a partnership.
"T~"\ON'T misunderstand me, though. I *~* have no objection to divorce when there is need for one. If neither party attempts, sentimentally or financially, to exploit the other, I don't see any more disgrace in divorce than there is in the dissolution of any other partnership . . . say, like real estate. But every court seems determined that somebody shall sin before that somebody can be freed from the exclusive rights vested in another.
"I can only hope that my children will be ready to meet any conditions that arise. Young people of today are making new evaluations of this lopsided world. They have more knowledge than any previous generation has ever had, yet they are looking for escape. Every advance in learning, I fear, has tended to impress upon them our gnat-like insignificance in the general scheme of things, so they rush headlong into deeper and deeper experiences, always fighting to make their stand intellectually respectable.
"Even now, their attitude is not sentimental. While they may not agree that marriages are made in heaven, neither do they concede that 'Theodore Dreiser's rearranging chemisms are an adequate explanation of the way a man feels about a woman in the springtime.'
"Of course, fifty years from now the world will have moved up immeasurably; science will have contributed so much that it may change habits and dispositions as much as they have changed in the last fifty years. It is not unlikely the physicists will have discovered how to release the energy in the atom, and the results of this will be too far-reaching even for anyone to contemplate.
"And if babies are then produced by chemists in laboratories, as many honestly believe they will be, it will not matter so vitally whether you have followed the advice of a sex exponent or listened to a rather more practical viewpoint as presented by yours truly."
48
The Neiv Movie Magazine, March, 1935