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PERFUME AND COSMETICS (/ FIFTH AVENUE • NEW YORK
It's a Fake!
{Continued from page 59)
der another pseudonym and start raking in the gullibles' shekels.
T TALKED at some length to the vet■*■ eran, in the Veterans' Hospital in Sawtelle. While on active duty in the Philippines he contracted a disease that resulted in his being disabled and sent to the pulmonary ward of the Government Hospital. There he had labored and brought forth the story of the courtship of his wife. It meant a lot to him — a whale of a lot, as he sat there by the window in the ward. It brought a measure of life's heat and throb back to him. He knew he was no great shakes as a writer, and he wanted this job polished up by a sympathetic professional. Painstakingly he saved out of his meagre pension a matter of $150 — the amount the representative required to revise and type a manuscript . . . Well, that revision was a joke. There were actually more mistakes in the typed copy than there had been in the original. Complaints against this man have been numerous and he, too, is under Postal Department investigation. You ask why something can't be done about these men? The answer is that the letter of the law, if not its intent, befriends them. They are careful to make no actual representations of selling your stories, either in print or before witnesses. They trade on your imagination and the carefully indicated assumptions they lead you to make for yourself. Run into a corner, their answer is pat and straight from their lawyer's office, "Oh, no! We didn't say that! That's what you thought we said. How stupid of you!" And there you are.
TO another promising lad we sent a similar and completely illiterate letter. He answered that "the wording of the letter makes me believe that you are a good story writer and I would be happy to examine any material you may care to submit." Further, he clearly states that he can guarantee to sell my material, if suitable, and if I'm willing to ante up for the publicity. Also, to show good faith on my part, he would appreciate a matter of ten dollars in advance — assuring me, however, that if the story is not suitable the ten will be returned. Anybody want to make any bets on that case?
In one sense it seems a bit unfair to leave unmentioned the veritable horde who are consistently mulcting the public of hard-earned dollars. If we started to publish a list of these phony outfits, it would wear out half a dozen typewriters.
One thing that must be remembered by the uninitiate is that they haven't the chance of a snow-ball in the wellknown hot-house of ever getting their money back, once they are stuck by any of these easy-living gentry. They live up to the letter of their promises. That's right where they get you. The promises are like the old shell game. Just where and what are they when you stop to analyze them? In the first place, it would take a trained legal mind to see the holes, and in the second place, though they lead you to believe there's a good chance of selling your stuff, all they actually say they'll do is to revise and copyright . . a worthless service, as we will demonstrate for you later.
One company advertised the sale of a manuscript to a publication It was an early job of writing and was sent to them for revision and sale. Fifty dollars was charged for the revision. It must have been worth something, because they actually did sell it — to a juvenile religious magazine for the stagger
I felt sick half the time
9 I just had to drag myself to work most of the time because I had such trouble with constipation. It made me feel heavy and my stomach got upset all the time. Everything I took for it seemed to exhaust me or give me cramps. Then my sister-in-law suggested I try FEEN-AMINT. It certainly has made a difference in the way I feel. Nothing ever gave me such a good clearing out, with no bad after-effects. And it's so wonderfully pleasant and easy to take.
Chewing gives
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We have hundreds of letters telling of the relief FEEN-A-MINT has given people. It works more thoroughly and more comfortably because you must chew it and that spreads the laxative more evenly through the system, giving a more complete cleansing. People who object to violent laxatives that cause cramps and binding find FEEN-A-MINT an ideal solution of their problem. Over 15,000,000 men and women can testify to the satisfaction FEEN-A-MINT gives. And it's so easy to take, with its refreshing flavor. Try it yourself. 15$ and 25$ at all drug stores.
£' S
ylfi*
S*tfl
CHEW Y0uR
feenamint
"^me C/ie4Vc^-(ju*H. LAXATIVE
ing sum of $20. That represents a net loss of $32 to the author for the privilege of seeing his effort barely published. You see, the agent's commission for sale is 10 per cent in addition to the revision fee. They netted $52 on the transaction, the author lost $32. Is that a system, or should I go back to the ribbon counter and begin life anew?
It's a bad idea to be totally destructive. In conclusion let's point out a few simple rules to the amateur — far simpler than throwing cash away.
First — If you want to write for pictures, don't do it. There are seven hundred experienced screen writers here right now — and half of them starving. For every picture produced in a year there are two men on the spot to write it. If, in spite of this, you feel that you can't sleep nights till M-G-M has snapped you up, start writing — at the beginning. The beginning is usually space-rate news stories for the papers and so on. Five years of this and the average amateur is about ready to think of turning out some sort of stuff salable to pictures after it has been published or produced elsewhere. That sounds tough, but, remember, writing is just as tough as the cynics paint it, only a little bit worse.
Second — No really good agent is advertising for inexperienced writers. Granted that there are honest and sincere ones in the business, but most of them are just after your cash. You usually can't weed the good ones by yourself, so abide by the caution of the Los Angeles Better Business Bureau, "Investigate Before You Invest." Merely write to them, asking about the reputation of the concern you have in mind, and they will answer honestly and without charge. They are supported by the business men of the community for just that service to the public.
Third — Material does not have to be copyrighted for submission to publications or studios. To make that point clear, let us say that you should protect yourself against theft, but you don't need a copyright. To do this, simply make a carbon copy of your story, wrap and seal it and then send it registered mail to yourself for a nominal charge. Then do not open the package. In case of a law-suit, the unopened, registered and dated package will suffice to establish your priority. If you are not satisfied with this, send the carbon copy to the Authors' League of America, New York City, with one dollar and request registration of the manuscript.
The only protection copyrighting gives you is to prove priority of authorship. The above methods do that. Except in the case of a play, the Government does not issue copyrights to unpublished material. Publication does give you a copyright, but why pay exorbitant fees for a totally unnecessary protection that can be had just as well through less expensive and certainly more reputable channels?
Finally — remember this. No studio ever buys any stories from outside writers who are unknown to them. If only to keep from being sued for plagiarization, most of them return unsolicited manuscripts in unopened envelopes. There is only one way to get stories accepted for the screen, and that is to get them printed first in a reputable magazine or in a book issued by one of the big publishing houses in New York City. Why should a studio buy a story from an unknown when it can buy better ones — and they are better, as the wouldbe authors would admit if they weren't so pitifully egotistical — from authors who have been writing for twenty years and can really write?
If you think you can write for the screen, if you are tempted to answer one of those wonderful ads that promise to help you— DON'T. It's a fake !
60
The New Movie Magazine, April, 1935